I’m honoured to have the wonderful and talented Cordelia’s Mom guest post for me today! Thanks, CM!
Please enjoy!!
Shades of Gray
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… and gray window blinds.
You know, you folks have dirty minds. Unless, of course, you immediately thought of windows when you saw the title of this post.
Personally, I’ve never understood the preoccupation with sex. Sure it’s fun, especially with a partner who knows what he or she is doing. But let’s face it – sex has been around for a very long time, and basically it consists of the same basic action: one person’s body part interacting with the body part of another person.
Each generation has become a little more sophisticated in its knowledge of sex. I grew up in the 1950’s/1960’s, when television sitcoms couldn’t even show a married couple in the same bed. I turned 18 in 1970 – just at the time that David R. Reuben, M.D. published his book, “Everything You Want to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask.”
Believe me, that book was as much of a blockbuster as the current Shades of Grey – maybe even more so, because “Everything …” was not fiction.
At 18, I was still a virgin – in fact, I had never even had a date (remember – this was back when women were still supposed to remain pure until marriage). Wanting to enlighten myself, I managed to get a copy of “Everything …” and snuck it into my mother’s house, where I would read it in the privacy of my own room late at night.
Imagine my chagrin one day, when my mother asked me if I was reading that book. It was bad enough admitting to possessing that book, but imagine my absolute horror when my mother proceeded to ask me questions about it.
I mean, really? My mother had been married for many years and had four kids! At some point, she and my dad must have figured out how to do it.
But it wasn’t marital sex she was confused about. I’ll never forget our conversation wherein she said, “I can understand how homosexuals do it,” [hand gestures of pointer finger of one hand poking into the circle formed by the thumb and pointer finger of the other hand] “but how do lesbians do it?” [hand gestures of two palms flat against each other]. “I mean, girls don’t have that part.” (Had she said penis, I really would have died. I knew my brothers had them – I had even diapered my baby brother – but I sure didn’t want my mother talking about them!)
I was way too embarrassed to explain about same-sex relationships (and I only knew from things I had read), so finally I just handed over the book. I don’t know if my mother became enlightened as to those issues, but she never asked me any sex questions after that (thank God in Heaven).
These days, there is no mystery surrounding sex. It finds it way not only into books, but into sitcoms, movies and advertising. I’m not sure that’s better than it was in my mother’s day.
My mother’s generation watched Jimmy Stewart trying to catch the moon for his girl, and Clark Gable carrying Scarlett up the staircase. The current generation has Shades of Grey – is that really better? I don’t think so. Although people are flocking to the movie, Shades of Grey, for the perceived sensationalism, I still think most of us would prefer a good, old-fashioned romance – even one that ends with those famous words, “Frankly, Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.”
Which, by the way, was considered pretty risqué at the time. We’ve come a long way, haven’t we? I’ll leave it to you to decide whether it’s been an improvement.
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I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at https://cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com
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Images by: Colt Group
and Cordelia’s Mom
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POSTSCRIPT: Thank you, Linda, for giving me this opportunity to guest post for you. I am truly honored!
You’re welcome CM!
A note for my readers: please click on over to Cordelia’s Mom’s site and read my guest post too!
http://cordeliasmomstill.com/ Thanks!!
March 10, 2015 at 9:41 am
Rather than finding it tantalizing, I normally tune out anything with “Shades of Gray” in the title. I just rarely find it enjoyable to read about sex, especially when everybody else reads ONLY this crap and not other more thoughtful works.
But then I am old and cranky. I too like the old kind of romance. Except perhaps the grapefruit in the face scene… not all old movies were so romantic!
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March 10, 2015 at 10:11 am
I agree, Elyse. I also never cared for Ricky spanking Lucy in some of the I Love Lucy episodes. Even as a child, I realized that adults should not be hitting each other. Makes me wonder about the current generation, that they are so willing to accept such abuse as normal or desirable.
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March 10, 2015 at 10:15 am
I don’t remember that! Ricky was a cad.
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March 10, 2015 at 10:17 am
I think it was only a couple of episodes, but they really stuck in my young brain.
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March 9, 2015 at 7:45 pm
I haven’t read or seen Shades of Grey. There are things that live best in the imagination and/or the bedroom (or other room of one’s choice). I hate that everything is spelled out in detailed these days. It’s killing creativity, spontenaiety, and good ol’ fashioned fun. TMI, I say! Thanks for the great post!
~Audrey
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March 9, 2015 at 7:49 pm
I like the way you added “or other room of one’s choice.” That piques the imagination without providing too much detail. Which, of course, is the point of my post and of your comment. Thanks for jumping in!
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March 9, 2015 at 7:00 pm
Reblogged this on Cordelia's Mom, Still and commented:
Most of you managed to find today’s reciprocal guest posts by Linda Hill and me. But for those who were unable, or unwilling, to click over to another site, Linda and I agreed to reblog our own posts on our own blogs. Here is mine, for those of you who haven’t seen it. Comments may be left on either website – Linda and I are routinely checking both sites. And again, I wish to thank Linda for agreeing to this unique collaboration.
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March 9, 2015 at 6:57 pm
So, you’re over here, and she’s over there….?? I don’t know if I’m coming or going – again. 😯 Oops, was that a sexual innuendo?
Both you ladies did a fine job! Encore! Encore! 😀
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March 9, 2015 at 7:03 pm
Thank you! 😀
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March 9, 2015 at 7:29 pm
Wanna join us, G.O.D.? It’s a lot of fun. But you’re right, it was confusing enough when we did the reciprocal guests posts, but the re-blogs take it to a whole new level.
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March 9, 2015 at 3:10 pm
Even though our culture is sex-saturated this “education” hasn’t helped us one bit. Men’s addiction to pornography, for example, has made men poor lovers. The entertainment industry’s portrayal of love has twisted women’s concept of what love should look like.
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March 9, 2015 at 3:13 pm
I agree. Thanks for the comment.
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March 9, 2015 at 12:34 pm
I don’t know, CM, the shades in the photo at the top look greenish to me.
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March 9, 2015 at 1:55 pm
Recent studies have shown that different computers screens show photographs of buildings and wedding dresses as different colors.
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March 9, 2015 at 2:26 pm
Or it could just be my eyes.
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March 9, 2015 at 2:40 pm
Definitely looks gray on both of my computer screens.
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March 9, 2015 at 2:44 pm
You’re right, CM. I moved it over to my other screen (the one on my laptop as opposed to the larger monitor I have my laptop hooked up to) and the building shades do look gray on that screen.
So about my original comment: never mind.
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March 9, 2015 at 4:45 pm
I thought it was black and blue… or was that white and gold? 😉
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March 9, 2015 at 6:48 pm
Actually, now that I’m looking at it on a different computer and in a different light, that tower does appear to have greenish edges. Weird.
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March 9, 2015 at 7:10 pm
Ah ha! Vindication is MINE, I tell you.
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March 9, 2015 at 7:17 pm
I so hate to have to tell a man that he might have been right.
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March 10, 2015 at 6:28 am
It’s a gray-bricked building with translucent green panes of glass (or glass-like solids).
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March 10, 2015 at 10:12 am
Ah, so it is. Thanks for clarifying that. But I still want to believe it was Doobster’s eyes all along. 🙂
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March 10, 2015 at 11:02 am
So we are both right. Greenish-gray.
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March 9, 2015 at 10:45 am
So much pressure on everyone to perform, so much hype. Those who are just grubbing along get very resentful . Really there is no reason to be feeling left out nothing is perfect not even SEX! 50 shades of tedium and hype! 😉
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March 9, 2015 at 10:48 am
Performance isn’t everything. Sex with the right, loving partner can be wonderful even if neither one is an “expert.”
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March 9, 2015 at 10:51 am
Yes that is exactly what I am saying ! So much emphasis is put on performance, it is as you say!
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March 9, 2015 at 10:08 am
That was a fun post CM. Well done and happy guesting!
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March 9, 2015 at 10:46 am
Glad you enjoyed it, Paul. I’m still a newbie when it comes to guest-posting, but it was fun.
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March 9, 2015 at 9:46 am
As a kid growing up with an artsy-fartsy flower-child mother…I think I knew too much about sex and the human body. From the “artistic” standpoint anyway.
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March 9, 2015 at 9:55 am
I have no issues with the artistic view of the human body. Bodies are beautiful, no matter the size or shape. But somehow I don’t think a lot of people these days are subscribing to the artistic viewpoint.
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March 9, 2015 at 10:43 am
Sadly that is true. They’ve become a commodity.
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March 9, 2015 at 9:43 am
I enjoyed your post. I never read “Shades…” but I’ve watched “Gone with the “Wind” countless times and have read the book too. The biggest reason I did not read today’s biggest hit on sex is because I have three daughters in their 20s, and the oldest read it and hated it–didn’t even finish reading it. Especially since their adulthoods, we’ve always been open about anything, including the dirtiest books we’ve read, if we have. She gave it to me to see if I wanted to give it a whirl. She said she likes more character rather than just the sexual hunger of a character. I never did read it. If she couldn’t get through it, I didn’t even want to try. Maybe it’s a good book, or maybe it’s just good for some people, as all books either are or aren’t. I’m glad there’s a lot of different books out there, so there is something to read for everyone. But I’m also glad I’m not forced to read anything that just doesn’t sound good to me.
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March 9, 2015 at 9:58 am
Little secret: I never read it, either, which is why I was very careful not to quote from it for this post. Like you, I was put off by the number of people who had read it and found it poorly written and boring. The reviews of the movie (which I also didn’t see) were not much better.
I find it interesting that you and your daughters share books – I do that with my girls, too.
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March 9, 2015 at 8:43 am
I’d say things have vastly improved. Nowadays books written by the likes of D.H. Lawrence, don’t get banned, and booksellers don’t get sued for selling classics like Henry Miller’s Tropic of Cancer. Comstockery, deaccession from libraries, and censorship was rampant before the sexual revolution. And consider what happened to Larry Flynt. I would never want to go back to those bad old days.
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March 9, 2015 at 8:48 am
In that respect, things probably have improved. I agree that banning books was not a good thing (usually it only made them more popular, anyway), but I do feel that the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction.
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March 9, 2015 at 8:58 am
You and I may not be in agreement, concerning the pendulum. As long as nobody is getting hurt, I prefer the pendulum to swing clear off the clock.
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March 9, 2015 at 9:14 am
We can agree to disagree. Either way, I appreciate that you took the time to read my post and then comment on it.
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March 9, 2015 at 9:25 am
I enjoyed reading your post. We’re probably not so much in disagreement. I, too, enjoy romances where much is left to the imagination. But I like the other kinds of romances, as well.
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March 9, 2015 at 12:38 pm
I agree, Glazed, that we shouldn’t go back to the “bad old days” when book bannings for those deemed “prurient” were not that uncommon. On the other hand, has the pendulum swung too far to the other side? Or am I just getting old and crotchety?
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March 9, 2015 at 2:54 pm
I’m uncomfortable with any restrictions on what people speak, write, film, or express unless I can see direct harm coming out of it. If someone deems something to be obscene, they have every right to not cater to it. But I don’t like it when they try to deprive others of their freedom to enjoy it. Let that pendulum swing clear off the clock, in my view.
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March 9, 2015 at 3:03 pm
I totally get that, Glazed, when it comes to literature, films, and speech, especially when the target audience is adults (and I’m not referring to the adult film industry, just films targeted for allegedly more mature audiences). I guess where I get concerned is with the proliferation of pornography and violence, which have always been around, but never, in this internet age, as easily accessible by younger kids — even in video games. And then there are the sex romp movies that are targeted directly at teenagers. Unfortunately, no one pays any attention anymore to the movie ratings. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a 14 or 15 year old (or even younger) being prevented from buying a ticket to, or entering a theater showing, an R-rated movie.
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March 9, 2015 at 3:11 pm
I remember getting in to watch Barbarella when I was a kid. That’s probably what warped me. I don’t object to parents keeping kids from watching some things. What I do object to is parents trying to keep everyone from being able to watch some things, in the so-called interest of protecting children, who might somehow become exposed to it. To me they’re just using children as an excuse for censorship of free speech.
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March 9, 2015 at 3:19 pm
I agree with you, Glazed, assuming by “parents” you mean conservatives, and religious fundamentalists who believe that teaching sex education (besides abstinence) in public schools is a sin and is inappropriate. Or did I take too far of a leap on this one?
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March 9, 2015 at 3:42 pm
I could not agree more. The tragedy of the conservative phobia about sex is that teens who are deprived of sex education have to learn their lessons the hard way. Ignorance is considered a major cause of teen pregnancies and teen STD’s.
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March 9, 2015 at 8:38 am
I’m with you, CM. I prefer not being force fed sex, but letting my imagination do the work.
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March 9, 2015 at 8:46 am
And usually the imagination does a much better job. Dinner, roses, candelight – and imagining what may come after.
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March 9, 2015 at 8:32 am
I don’t find ‘obvious’ sexy. I liked it better with innuendos and imagination.
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March 9, 2015 at 8:33 am
Absolutely. Thanks for reading, and commenting.
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March 9, 2015 at 8:06 am
I prefer some things to be left to my imagination. Not a big fan of graphic sensational elements in any genre. It was better when the entertainment industry relied on talented writers, actors and camera people.
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March 9, 2015 at 8:36 am
You’ve got that right, Dan. It doesn’t take a lot of talent to remove one’s clothes, but to make a scene steamy while everyone still has clothes on? I think the old movies did it better.
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March 9, 2015 at 7:15 am
Thanks, Linda – this has been fun!
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March 9, 2015 at 9:29 am
Thank YOU, CM! 😀
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