Though my son, Alex, observes much more than most of us in the family do, there’s at least a quarter, if not half, of what the rest of us perceive that he misses, being Deaf. While we hear things that go on around us without having to see them, (right now there’s a car going by with a rattling trailer on the back, and my other son, Chris, is coughing upstairs in his room) Alex’s world is quiet. He only knows what is in front of his face. I know this, because I often accidentally sneak up on the poor kid and scare him out of his erps.
I think of him in his own little world, not knowing what’s going on around him, and I find it natural that we end up calling him, “Your Majesty.” He’s self-centered in a way that makes sense. And yet he still finds a way to be in tune.
That he has compassion, even though I’m not able to explain to him what compassion means, tells me that teaching by example goes so much further than speaking. Openness begets openness, caring begets caring, and love begets love. This, unfortunately, can also be said for close-mindedness, rejection, and hate. To me, it speaks in volumes about how we all need to behave around our children.
Kindness is as often shown in gestures as it is in words. We can express kind words to one another without meaning them, but the sincerity of a smile cannot be faked. Nor can the act of opening a door, or handing back a lost item that a person doesn’t know he or she has dropped. I’m happy to have not only been able to demonstrate these qualities to my son, but I’m grateful to have been able to expose him to other people who have as well.
My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex. To learn more about his beginnings in life, click here to go to my first A to Z entry.
April 8, 2017 at 11:44 pm
What an inspirational and beautiful post. I really enjoyed it and I agree with teaching by example and kindness shown in gestures, I try hard to demonstrate these qualities to my sons as well. Thank you for sharing.
Girlfriend
Shari
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April 9, 2017 at 9:51 pm
Thank you for commenting. 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed my post.
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April 16, 2016 at 3:03 pm
That is so true about faking a smile or a hug or any kindness. I will have to remember that more. I like that part of the post a lot.
Finding Eliza
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April 16, 2016 at 4:11 pm
Thanks, Kristin. 🙂 As I write these posts I’m learning a lot from what I’ve taken for granted, as strange as that sounds. This was one of those points – it’s certainly something to think about. 🙂
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April 15, 2016 at 4:00 am
“erps”?
Of course, another explanation is that people are intrinsically decent and considerate, so unkindness and other unpleasant characteristics are learnt. Alex obviously mirrors the goodness he sees in you, reinforcing his own natural inclination to be kind, but his ability to absorb all the negativity in the world is restricted, thereby protecting him from picking up so much inappropriate behaviour.
It’s a thought, anyway.
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April 14, 2016 at 10:51 am
Kindness is sometimes so easy and people don’t even make the smallest effort to express it (though I know I am guilty of that sometimes, often without even realizing it).
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April 14, 2016 at 7:29 am
These acts that may not mean much to us can inspire a load of character in someone else. I am so touched reading this about your son, Linda
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April 13, 2016 at 9:58 pm
Some heartfelt observations. The way you are sharing with us your learnings and trying to do so many things to make his life better, he is lucky to have you as Mum.
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April 13, 2016 at 4:04 pm
Oh Linda, this is so touching and really awe inspiring! I agree that even small gestures of kindness could bring positive result. Great post!
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April 14, 2016 at 11:15 pm
Thank you! Sometimes it’s the little things that make the most difference. 🙂
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April 13, 2016 at 2:14 pm
am greatly touched by this! i hope he keeps learning the beauty of life through the way you live it
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April 14, 2016 at 11:12 pm
Thanks so much. 🙂
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April 13, 2016 at 1:35 pm
Wonderful Linda! 😊
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April 14, 2016 at 11:10 pm
Thank you, Ritu! 🙂
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April 13, 2016 at 12:57 pm
wonderful –
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April 14, 2016 at 11:09 pm
😀 Thanks you.
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April 13, 2016 at 12:07 pm
I find it interesting sone of your sincere acts of kindness.
While my wife appreciates me being “old fashion” and opening door for her, I have actually had women gripe at me for doing that and saying that they are fully capable of doing it themselves.
Sheesh…
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April 13, 2016 at 12:13 pm
I have never experienced that kind of rudeness – then again, I’m a woman myself. 😛 I know it happens though. I don’t understand people these days. And really, it shows what those people are probably teaching their own kids. It’s sad.
P.S. I open the door for men and women alike.
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April 13, 2016 at 12:06 pm
“the sincerity of a smile cannot be faked” – this is so true Linda and the value can’t be underestimated.
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April 13, 2016 at 12:11 pm
Indeed. 🙂 <— I did actually smile. 😉
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April 13, 2016 at 11:13 am
Very interesting observations Linda. He seems to be a happy child – and that says a lot about his Mom. 🙂
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April 13, 2016 at 11:51 am
He is a very happy child. I try my best to stay positive. 🙂
Thank you, Paul. 🙂
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April 13, 2016 at 10:55 am
I cannot imagine how difficult it can be to teach such values to a deaf child. You have my heart-felt respect, Linda. You are doing an amazing job with your son and teaching the rest of us along the way. Thank you!
Many Blessings,
Lori
My A2Zs @ As the Fates Would Have It & Promptly Written
Follow Me (Ravyne) Twitter|Facebook
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April 13, 2016 at 11:46 am
Thank you, Lori. For me it’s really just life. I’m actually realizing what I do, whether good or bad, as I write. It’s a learning experience for me – glad I can take you and the others reading this, along with me. 🙂
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April 13, 2016 at 5:44 pm
Welcome, Linda… it is fascinating to me how you manage to handle it all.
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April 13, 2016 at 10:50 am
I appreciate your insights into the triumphs as well as the trials, the pleasure as well as the pain, of bringing up a Deaf child. There are so many aspects to it that I wouldn’t have thought of, and my respect for you grows with each revelation.
Keith Channing A-Zing from http://keithkreates.com
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April 13, 2016 at 11:42 am
Thank you, Keith. Being an optimist, I believe happiness can be found in almost any situation. I try to focus on the positive. 🙂
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