I’d just finished dining alone when the waiter came to clear my table and ask me if I was ready to pay.

“Will that be all on one bill?” he asked.

Now, to be fair, it’s common practice in Canada when two people are dining together to ask them if they want two separate bills, so he must have been asking out of habit. However, it was all I could do to resist saying, “No, split it down the middle. My imaginary friend will pay half after I leave.”

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