There are a few things that annoy me about people, but what gets me angriest is when people get annoyed at my kids. This rant is brought on by a trip to the grocery store earlier today and a woman behind us in line. There isn’t much room once you’ve paid for your groceries and you’re packing your own bags. Alex, my Deaf son, was helping me – I was standing at the end of the belt and he was moving things closer to me while standing in the lane where we came out after paying. There was a woman there with a cart who had just paid for her groceries. All she had was a cart full of cases of pop (soda, for those of you in the U.S.). When I turned, after she had raised her voice (I didn’t know she was there) she was saying to Alex that she just needed to get out, that she didn’t have to pack anything, she would just very much appreciate it if we’d excuse her.
Normally an “excuse me” doesn’t require that much explanation, so it occurred to me that she’d probably been saying it to Alex for a while. He had his back turned to her, so he didn’t know she was there. As she walked away, she looked at me and said, “Thank you very much for moving out of the way.” Waaay over the top, even for a Canadian. So I said, “Sorry he didn’t move right away, he’s Deaf.” Or I tried to say that, but she cut me off: “No, no, no, no, I really appreciate it!”
Fuck you, sarcastic bitch.
I want to say I wish people wouldn’t judge, but I realize I’m judging her. Maybe she’d been having a really hard day? But does she need to take it out on us?
I always say that you can make someone’s day with a smile, no matter who they are. Even if they’re a stranger. You can also ruin someone’s day by being sarcastic and jumping to conclusions. Or rather jumping to conclusions and then being sarcastic. Or maybe I’m just overreacting because I want to protect my son.
One way or another, be nice out there. And be patient.
This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Check out the rules and join in here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/09/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1716/
September 19, 2016 at 6:08 pm
I hear you, kiddo, loud and clear! Yeah, she might have had a bad day but when someone does not answer me when I need to pass, I usually pat them gently on the shoulder, so they can face me. After all, the person does not have to be deaf not to understand…what if he or she speaks a different language. I get impatient people at the cash when I am slow to load up my bags if my arthritis is flaring up or walking with my cane and people are impatient in the winter EVEN. I have to say in my mind,”karma’s gonna be a bitch”.
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September 23, 2016 at 11:55 am
Ha! Yes, it certainly will. 🙂
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September 19, 2016 at 12:42 pm
There is a lesson in that for all of us…
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September 23, 2016 at 11:55 am
I think so. 🙂
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September 19, 2016 at 6:13 am
I know where you are coming from. I worked yesterday a full shift even though it was my husbands birthday. My boss had forgotten to give me the day off. A co-worker didn’t want to change shifts and I didn’t want to ask the other co-worker who came along yesterday and told me how lucky I am I do not have to go to the check-outs and can do all the work in our department. Now, I do not have to go because of the flashbacks I get and my mental health and I was just so angry about her comment. I didn’t say anything to her but since then scenarios flash up in my mind where I ask her if she’d prefer to have my memories of my father abusing me and I would happily go on the check-outs for her. That doesn’t help anything, though. It is unfair that most of my co-workers have to do double the work because the company doesn’t want to employ enough staff. Still, it hit a sore spot on many levels. And I think even if you want to protect your son: You have all the right to do so 🙂
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September 23, 2016 at 11:59 am
Just goes to show, you never know what someone else is going through. Much respect for keeping it in – that’s what blogs are for, I’ve come to find. 😉
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September 23, 2016 at 1:36 pm
I agree 🙂
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September 19, 2016 at 6:12 am
I think you were very polite. I would have been considerably less restrained in making sure she got the message.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:03 pm
Ah, I hate confrontations, especially when they’re not likely to help. People with that level of self-entitlement always manage to turn a situation in their own favour, even if it’s only in their own mind.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:09 pm
True enough, but not in the minds of the people hearing me berating dickheads in public, which is all the satisfaction I need. ;~}
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September 23, 2016 at 12:12 pm
You have a point. 🙂
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September 19, 2016 at 1:15 am
My friend had a very similar rant the other day. No, she does not have any kids but she was at the receiving end of some snotty sarcasm. It is kind of sad that people don’t find it necessary to be nice to others – especially in this day. If I don’t know you and you don’t concern me, I am not obliged to nice – that is the general behavior 😐
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September 23, 2016 at 12:04 pm
It’s very sad. Empathy has taken a back seat to entitlement, I’m afraid.
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September 18, 2016 at 9:54 am
What a nasty woman. Did she ever hear that children are not supposed to respond to strangers? Even if she was being over the top, she should have said it to YOU and not the kiddo. What I hate is when people falsely accuse your kids of something. I mean, I know my children are not perfect and have answered the phone from the school on occasion, “Alright what did he do this time?” but to assume he was in the wrong was ugly. Of course, you don’t know her situation but she doesn’t know yours either.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:08 pm
You have a good point, in that she shouldn’t expect anything of a child. One hopes for kids to be respectful, but what about being respectful towards them? Ugh.
Thanks for your comment. 🙂
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September 18, 2016 at 5:13 am
I give the woman no slack. I am one of the grumpiest, most judgemental, sour old men (well 65 so I guess that makes my a young old man) wandering about this world. But I keep it to myself, as it’s contagious.
I wonder how she’d have felt if I had been behind her and said:
“Move it lady! Ya blockin’ the isles!”
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September 23, 2016 at 12:08 pm
Haha! I need to you come shopping with me. 😀
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September 23, 2016 at 1:19 pm
I can move a trolley gently, or (If it’s deserved) like a Viking with an axe. Also perfected the ‘Leaning Over The Trolley and Glower’ technique
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September 23, 2016 at 1:21 pm
Hahahaha! Awesome! I’ll let you know next time I need groceries. I hope your wife won’t mind my borrowing you for glowering duties. 😀
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September 23, 2016 at 1:34 pm
The dear girl needs the break…..I’ll get my passport ready….living in the UK and all.😂
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September 23, 2016 at 1:45 pm
Great! Your accent will help too! 😀
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September 24, 2016 at 3:35 am
And coming from Wales means I can turn on a Richard Burton/Dylan Thomas accent (deep, gloomy and menacing)….
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September 24, 2016 at 11:03 am
Ooooh! Nice! 😀 😉
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September 17, 2016 at 11:56 pm
Gosh, what a horrible woman. It’s nice you give her the benefit of the doubt but personally I think she was being rude.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:09 pm
She was indeed. Thanks for commenting, and for your support, Suzanne. 🙂
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September 17, 2016 at 10:40 pm
We so often tend to jump to conclusions too quickly. I even have a fridge magnet “Do not assume” – and I still do ! Hope you’ve recovered enough to move on 🙂
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September 23, 2016 at 12:13 pm
Thank you. 🙂 That’s very good advice that should be taken to heart by everyone.
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September 17, 2016 at 10:34 pm
Ugh.
For all she knows, that wait saved her from a terrible collision on the road. I have all the patience in the world most days, but when I run out, I only see red. Everywhere.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:14 pm
Me too! And yes, she should appreciate me. 😉
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September 17, 2016 at 10:16 pm
ugh, ugh, UGH
I have zero patience for people in public who made stupid snap judgements.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:15 pm
Having disabled kids, it happens to me all the time. Sadly, I’ve gotten used to it.
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September 17, 2016 at 8:30 pm
I don’t mean to judge but…Fuck her!
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September 23, 2016 at 12:16 pm
Exactly!
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September 17, 2016 at 8:23 pm
For most people judging is the easy option for then they don’t have to stop and inquire as to what the problem might be. A friend of mine was at the checkout with her dad once and the checkout girl was hurrying them through, literally throwing their stuff at them. At the end her dad said to her: “You are having a bad day eh?” The girl broke down and cried in his arms….she found someone, a stranger who wanted to understand.
We live in a world where we find everyone in a hurry and like you I would be angry at that woman’s response to you and Alex. And you are right we don’t know what happened to her before she came into the shop.
Hopefully writing this SOC has settled you down? Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:18 pm
Thanks for sharing your story, Michael. Yes, writing it out did help, and so did the support from all the comments. Much appreciated, my friend. 🙂
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September 23, 2016 at 12:21 pm
Just part of the friendly service.😄
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September 23, 2016 at 12:40 pm
😀 ❤
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September 17, 2016 at 8:14 pm
I can understand the lady thinking Alex was ignoring her, and getting annoyed by the “uppity little brat.” But once you explained that he’s deaf, she should have apologized. Maybe she was just too embarrassed to do so.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:20 pm
I don’t think she heard me explain. She was too busy yelling out her sarcastic, false appreciation. I very much doubt she’d have been embarrassed anyway.
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September 17, 2016 at 7:29 pm
I had a weird thing happen to me the other day. Dave and I went to see the movie Sully and we were early (of course) and sat down. There were two people in front of us with a screen which I thought was a smartphone. I couldn’t see what was on it but I leaned forward and asked them. They “ignored” me. I said excuse me and asked again but then nothing. Finally I tapped them thinking they were just old and didn’t hear me and the woman looked at me very flustered and angry and then I realized they were both deaf. 😦 I upset her obviously and I felt so upset about it for a while even after the movie started. We never know what’s going on with other people even when they are rude. All we can do is say a prayer and move on.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:28 pm
If it helps, you did exactly the right thing to get their attention, according to Deaf culture. She was obviously having her own moment that had nothing to do with what you did. If she was friendly, or happened to be happy at that moment, she should have smiled and explained she was Deaf, just as anyone who speaks another language might.
Thanks for sharing that, Laura. It’s a wonderful example of how we should try to get along with others, even when we have differences. I’m sorry it didn’t go better for you.
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September 17, 2016 at 6:22 pm
If you don’t have s few seconds to wait for the people ahead of you, maybe you should go shopping tomorrow. People like that bother me.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:29 pm
Yep. I agree.
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September 17, 2016 at 6:16 pm
I always give people like that a big smile as if I don’t understand what they said. It bothers them all the more.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:30 pm
You have no idea how tempted I am ALL THE TIME to sign to rude people and pretend I’m Deaf. And smile, of course.
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September 23, 2016 at 1:27 pm
Good one. Do it!
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September 23, 2016 at 1:44 pm
You’re such a bad influence, John. 😉
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September 23, 2016 at 1:53 pm
Heh heh heh
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September 17, 2016 at 5:56 pm
I know from my years of working in a public library, that when people are unhappy for whatever reason, a vast majority tend to take it out on whoever is handy. I’m far from perfect, but I try to make a concerted effort to treat others the way I’d like to be treated.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:32 pm
It’s so true! People, especially since the advent of social media, are much quicker to blame everyone else for their problems.
All we can do is keep trying, and that includes trying to teach others by example. It’s hard sometimes though!
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September 17, 2016 at 5:06 pm
I have a deaf friend and I get very annoyed for her when people get nasty with her, through no fault of her own. She’s an adult, I don’t know what I’d do if it were my child! You are a good person to have given this lady the benefit of having a bad day. Your child being deaf or no, she was acting poorly to another person! UGH!
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September 23, 2016 at 12:36 pm
The level of self-entitlement these days is astounding. It can be seen everywhere, but especially in regards to making assumptions in public.
Thanks very much for commenting, and for sharing your own experience. 🙂
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September 17, 2016 at 5:05 pm
I don’t remember a time when people were so rude, impatient, on edge. I thought it was just here in the US, where folks are taking sides, the rhetoric follows ugly politics. So much rush to judgment, name calling, misunderstanding. It’s in the air, and I’m sorry to hear it is happening everywhere. Deep breaths….note to self.
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September 23, 2016 at 12:38 pm
Honestly, it’s not that bad here. But every society has its bad apples, though they do seem to be infecting one another of late.
Thanks for your comment, Van. Deep breaths indeed.
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September 17, 2016 at 4:55 pm
As someone who can’t see, I’m constantly feeling like I am in people’s way out in public. I don’t know how soon before they realize I don’t see them coming. Tough situation to be in in the moment.
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September 17, 2016 at 4:58 pm
It really is. I think the worst part of it though is having people get annoyed with you because they think you’re just not paying attention.
Thanks for your commiseration, Kerry.
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September 17, 2016 at 4:52 pm
Give her shit Linda.
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September 17, 2016 at 4:55 pm
Yeah! 🙂
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September 17, 2016 at 4:48 pm
I feel so sorry that there are so many ignorant people around . I hate sarcasm, my Dad always says it was the lowest form of whit!.
We have just had a shit evening due to no fault of ours so know how you feel. Sending you hugs. P.S.. no we shouldn’t judge but we are all human and we do! Hopefully she felt an arse and a heel when she stopped to think!
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September 17, 2016 at 4:54 pm
Oh no! Sorry you had a rotten evening too.
*hugs all round* ❤
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September 17, 2016 at 5:01 pm
Yes that’s life isn’t it tomorrow is another day!
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September 17, 2016 at 5:09 pm
Damned right, Scarlet! 😉 😀
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September 17, 2016 at 5:10 pm
We need to stick together! 😎
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September 17, 2016 at 8:12 pm
Hugs, Willow. Hopefully today is better.
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September 18, 2016 at 4:42 am
Yes it’s getting better!
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September 17, 2016 at 4:22 pm
This is infuriating… but you’re right… we can’t judge!!!
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September 17, 2016 at 4:40 pm
…which makes it almost more infuriating! 😛 haha
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September 17, 2016 at 4:53 pm
I know…! 😃
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