Life in progress

My Three ‘Only’ Children

36 Comments

The dynamic that makes up my family is so unique that I don’t imagine there is even a statistic out there which would cover it. Since this is the case, I will describe it so that you can imagine.

Having grown up an only child, I always said that I would have more than one, so that my children would have a sibling to play with. So I gave birth to one beautiful little boy and then another, 14 short months later. When my second turned four years old, things became complicated. He was diagnosed with autism. After months of therapy and learning to read, he finally began speaking. Yes, reading taught him to speak. But being autistic meant lining up toy cars all the way around the dining room table, not playing with his older brother. To this day, he prefers to be alone all the time, and rarely interacts with us.

Then came the decision to have another child. Although there was going to be five or six years difference, at least when they were older my first child and my third would be able to get along perhaps. My third son was born Deaf, however. Imagine it. Having someone in your family, who you gave birth to, who speaks a different language.

Yes, we have all learned to sign. But there is no doubt that my youngest son is most at home with people who can not only speak his language fluently, but who can teach him what it truly means to be a Deaf person in a hearing world.

So there you have it. My family consists of three children who essentially have lives which are fundamentally different from each other’s.

Nothing in life is guaranteed, and anything is possible.

Unknown's avatar

Author: Linda G. Hill

There's a writer in here, clawing her way out.

36 thoughts on “My Three ‘Only’ Children

  1. Paula Mills's avatar

    I really want to comment today to you, but I don’t know; every time I write a line it seems a little selfish. I have no idea what it must be to be a mum of three incredible children, each with their own hill to climb. It must be challenging to divide your energy up. I know I struggle with just one, and her recent curve ball at me really is nothing….thanks for sharing it with me.

    Like

    • Linda G. Hill's avatar

      I think a challenge is a challenge, and no matter how big or small, it stays a challenge until we find a way to adapt. Only then can it become a matter of just the way life is. I’ve had so many years practice at this… I’m sure you’ll find a way too. 🙂
      Thank you for commenting.

      Like

      • Paula Mills's avatar

        You are right of course, still – how many challenges does one family have to go through ? It just seems there are challenges and then there are CHALLENGES, and should we measure up against others or just let it be. I guess it does not matter either way….it’s not going to help by over thinking it…I will take a note from your book, and just get on with it. One foot in front of the other and focus on the sunny road ahead.

        Like

        • Linda G. Hill's avatar

          I actually have a friend who, when she gets overwhelmed with her problems, calls me so she can feel better. Haha. I don’t think we can help but compare, to some extent. But having lived with SO many stressors in my life, I know that sometimes it’s the little ones that can break us, so I tend not to think that anyone really has it any better than me. Only different.
          One day at a time. That’s sometimes the only way to go.

          Like

  2. Kirsten's avatar

    You are one of the most amazing women I’ve come across, Linda. They are blessed to have you as a mom. I always enjoy your writings about your children. You find the light in every situation 🙂

    Like

  3. willowdot21's avatar

    They have a wonderful mother though!! hugs! 😉

    Like

  4. Marie A Bailey's avatar

    I like that you ended your post with “anything is possible.” It’s possible that each of your children will grow up to enjoy a happy, independent life. I think the fact that you love them and do what you can to accommodate yourself to them gives them that chance, that hope. Thanks for sharing this, Linda. You are very special yourself 🙂

    Like

  5. Bruce Goodman's avatar

    That’s total wow – I’m kind of speechless really (speechless for me is a bit unusual!)

    Like

  6. tric's avatar

    When our children are born we expect “normal”. For the majority that is the case, but in your case you really went against the odds. I am sure in a way you have mourned for the future you and your children will not have, however now I hope you can see the future for them in a different light.
    I have seen many families of “normal” children discover that the future they thought was theirs turn out to be anything but.
    Life has no guarantees. You strike me as a magic mum, your crew are so lucky to have you.

    Like

    • Linda G. Hill's avatar

      Thank you, Tric. It’s true, no one’s children’s lives are guaranteed, no matter how they start out. What matters is that they’re happy – and they are. That’s really all I can ask for.

      Like

  7. S.K. Nicholls's avatar

    I admire your courage and your strength. I was truly blessed in that my children, except for my youngest’s mild Asperger’s, are very well adjusted and healthy. I feel that you are also blessed in so many ways. Thank you for sharing.

    Like

  8. Team Querci della Rovere's avatar

    a lovely post. Thank you for sharing. I salute you and wish you all the very very best XXX

    Like

  9. anmol's avatar

    I can understand that it is a tough job.
    You have such special kids and you love them. That is what matters. Wishing the very best for you and your kids,
    -HA

    Like

  10. tjtherien's avatar

    there is always hope that children with disabilities can grow up to live relatively normal and productive lives… I stopped breathing as a baby long enough to suffer severe brain damage my parents were told I would be developmentally challenged and I was almost six years old when I spoke my first words (haven’t shut up since) I did not do well in school and for a year I was in a class with special needs children.
    I respect and admire parents of special needs children as I know the toll this can take on them… I saw it in my own parents when I was an adult looking back… Keep doing what you’re doing and keep the faith that things will work out.

    Like

  11. Michael Chaney's avatar

    A lovely, truly thoughtful post. Makes me re-think my uncomplicated assumptions about what a family really is. Thank you for that.

    Like

  12. Lipstick and Chaos's avatar

    I find the irony most entertaining as you set out to achieve a position for your children that was different than you “alone”. Here you are with 3 very different lifestyles – and each one so unique in their own way. So while they probably don’t communicate the same – you’ve given them a very enriching perspective of life and personality.

    Like

  13. lifeoftransition's avatar

    I’m enjoying your blog. As my three have gotten older, they have found ways to be siblings even with their differences.

    Like

  14. quiall's avatar

    sounds like a great family to me!

    Like

  15. Pamela Beckford's avatar

    There is a special place in heaven for mothers who raise, love and adapt to children such as yours. Bless you. God only gives special children to special mothers.

    I follow another blog http://5kidswdisabilities.com and she is always pointing out the fun and special times with each of her children. I tried learning ASL because a friend is deaf – I was a total failure.

    Like

    • Linda G. Hill's avatar

      ASL is so much more complicated than learning the signs, and if you don’t practice it, you lose it. For years I felt like a failure myself – it’s only through constant exposure to it that I’ve learned as much as I have.
      Thanks, Pamela, for the link and the kind words. 🙂

      Like

Leave a reply to tric Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.