Linda G. Hill

Life in progress


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One-Liner Wednesday – My Existential Fridge

As you probably know if you’ve been around my blog for a while, I have letter fridge magnets. I was taking something out of the fridge the other day, and one of the letters fell off the freezer door and landed on my forearm. I paused to think, then I laughed.

Because I was hungry. Don’t judge me!!

The letter was “Y.”


If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 


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#SoCS – Tail Tale

I’ve been asked to and even been tempted to write stories from the perspective of an animal in past. But I just can’t. (Disclaimer: I have a feeling I HAVE done it before, years ago–so many I can no longer remember–but I couldn’t tell you where that writing is.) The point is, I can’t do it anymore. Here’s why.

What if … This is what goes through my mind when I look at my dog and really contemplate what might be going through his head. What if he’s a past human, trapped in the body of a dog for the span of this lifetime? What if he really understands everything I’m doing and saying and he’s judging me?

I know this sounds paranoid, but it’s where my writer’s mind goes. My overactive imagination, if you will. So there it is. I’m afraid that if I start writing from his perspective, I’ll somehow disappear into a void of imagined conversation between the dog and the cat that will end up with me hiding in my room with the door closed, begging for forgiveness and mercy as they scratch and whine, trying to get in. Except of course it’s only because they’re hungry, my logical mind will tell myself.

But what if …?

 

This somewhat creepy post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday! Click the following link to find more posts in the comment section and add yours! https://lindaghill.com/2018/02/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-10-18/


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#LOVEISINDABLOG2018 – Devotion

I was both surprised and happy to find that my friend Bee is hosting her February prompt, Love Is In Da Blog again this year! If you’re looking for prompts, check out her blog here!

When I think about the word “devotion,” my mind immediately goes to single-minded love and romance. But then, Merriam-Webster dictionary actually states this:

obsolete : the object of one’s devotion

Who knew this definition was obsolete?

Yet it’s true, the term is much broader than that. I’m devoted to my kids–all three of them. I’m devoted to my friends, both offline and on. I’m devoted to my writing, my career in editing, and my blog. I’m devoted to caring for my dog … the cat slightly less, because perhaps he’s less devoted to me. That, and he’s not my cat. He’s my son’s and will move with him if he ever moves out.

Which begs the question is it possible to be devoted to someone (or something) that’s not devoted back? Absolutely. That can get rather frustrating, though, in a “but why are you leaving me” sort of way. In the case of the kids, that’s usually inevitable.

Do we throw the word devotion around too liberally? Perhaps. Makes you think about what you’re truly devoted to though, doesn’t it?

Be sure to check out Bee’s prompt a the following link, and join in today! https://beehalton.com/abc-of-love-prompt-5-devotion-loveisindablog2018/writing/blog-events/love-is-in-da-blog/love-is-in-da-blog-2018


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#SoCS – To Do

My to-do list is once again way over the top. I find it much easier when that list is dominated by stuff I have to do for other people. When I promise someone I will, for instance, have their editing job done on a certain day, nine times out of ten I get it done early. I’m able to concentrate better when I have someone counting on me. I have discipline. When it’s only me counting on me, I have none.

At the moment I’m supposed to be working on three short stories (I have a deadline for two of them, but they’re not motivating me yet), one of which I’ve gone as far as creating a Word document and naming. Not a single word in the document itself. The other two I have great ideas for, but the deadline for the first is closer. As someone wise once said (Stephen King?) starting is the hardest part.

My excuse for not working on my novel is I’m waiting for a beta reader to get back to me. I could work on it anyway, but there’s this short story …

All in all it seems I’m the last person on my to-do list who has any clout. I love to make other people happy by getting their work done on time, but me–meh. I’m not that important. I need to find a way to change that. And I need to find a way to stop procrastinating. In other words, I need to get off my ass and do things for me.

Suggestions on how to do that are welcome.

This post (that I managed to write, despite procrastinating) is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find the other entries in the comment section, and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2018/02/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-3-18/


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The Destroyer Strikes Again

Okay, I didn’t actually destroy the computers at Service Ontario (where we renew our licenses and health cards), but I didn’t seem to do them any favours.

If you read my bloated one-liner on Wednesday (here), you’ll know that whilst out at the mall, not one but two computers in the stores I visited crapped out while I was there. Apparently my reign of terror was not over. It happened again. Yesterday.

Both my son Chris and I needed to renew our health cards. So we went into the office and sat to wait our turn, as you do. We were called up to Desk #6 (there are 9) and the lady started filling out the paperwork. When she tried to take Chris’s picture, it didn’t work. The camera was fine, but the computer wouldn’t capture the image. So she sent us to Desk #3.

A nice lady helped us through the process and got Chris all set. Then it was my turn. As she was processing my paperwork, the computer started glitching.

“Oh no,” I said and then explained to her what had happened at the mall.

She waved it off good-naturedly and suggested we take my picture while the computer was doing its thing.

“I’ll try not to break your camera,” I said as I stepped in front of it.

The lady thought that was hilarious, and we laughed until I had to do the serious face for my photo. Then came her serious face when the picture didn’t work. Her computer crashed.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll just pass you off to my colleague at Desk #4.”

The other lady with whom she shared a workspace and who hadn’t been busy for a while said that if her camera worked, it wasn’t me, it was the lady she worked with who broke the computer.

So I stood in front of the camera again and we laughed and laughed, and I got serious, and then we all got serious. It didn’t work. At this point, three out of nine computers weren’t working.

So the lady at Desk #4 asked us to have a seat while she called IT. While we sat there (right by the desk), a man passed us to go to Desk #2. A woman was following him so closely, that I thought they were together. The man approached the desk but the woman stood back.

“You just called me to this desk,” she said, confused. It was obvious the two weren’t together at this point.

“Oh,” said the man behind Desk #2. “Sorry, just take a seat and we’ll call you up next. It happens sometimes that the computer calls two people up at the same time. Must be a glitch.”

Shortly after that we went back to Desk #4 and I got my confirmation that my renewal had gone through offsite. The lady’s computer still wasn’t working, but they’d done it somehow through another office. Obviously one where I wasn’t physically present.

I’m afraid to go out again.


56 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday & #JusJoJan Daily Prompt – January 31st, 2018

Because I’ve got a story to tell, I’m going to take a page out of Dan Antion’s book and base a long post on a short sentence. This should, by rights, be a one-liner, but I’m cheating this week. Sue me. (You won’t get anything, so don’t bother.)

I was at the mall Monday night getting a new pair of prescription sunglasses to replace the ones I lost on Christmas Eve. After finding out they were going to cost me $400, I decided to get an account with the store so I could pay for them over the space of six months. Half an hour and an utter disaster on the part of the store’s computer later (with time spent made pleasant by the friendly cashier), I walked out of there with my credit but no glasses yet.

To celebrate my half a victory, I decided to go into the children’s clothing store to buy some underwear and pants for Alex. I picked out the undergarments with no problem, but the pants I wasn’t too sure about. So I went to the cashier with two pairs, two different sizes. The cashier, a lovely lady named Nancy, assured me I’d be able to bring back the pair that didn’t fit. She rang in the purchase, it went through, and boom, her computer screen went black. While I waited for it to reboot, I told her it seemed everywhere I went in the mall, I was breaking computers. We laughed and joked about it, and about half an hour later I walked out of there with a bag full of pants.

When I got home, I had Alex try both pairs of pants on. One was too big, the other too small. I thought fine, I had to take one pair back anyway, why not two? But when I went to put them back in the bag (with the receipt I’d waited so long for), I realized Nancy had forgotten to take the little ink tag off the bigger pair of pants.

So out came the receipt so I could look up the phone number of the store before they closed. I explained to the lady who answered that I still had the ink tag on the pants and I wanted to bring them back, but I didn’t want them to think I’d stolen them and was just trying to get money from them.

She said it was no problem, as long as I had my receipt. Before I hung up, I wanted to know if it was the same cashier who’d rung me through. (I didn’t remember her name at the time.)

Me: Have you been there a while tonight? I’m the one who came in earlier …

Her: You’re the lady who broke my computer?

Me: Yes!

Ah, I do love it when a cashier has a sense of humour.


Here are the general rules to follow for Just Jot it January:

1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. I’ll post the daily prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5), every day except for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness (SoCS) prompt–you’ll find that one on Friday morning at 9:30am. That daily post (i.e. this one) will be where you leave your link for others to find in the comment section. There will be a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday.

2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

(i) Make it one sentence.

(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.

(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

(iv) Enjoy yourself!

(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge.

3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will appear at the top.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of the day. You can link any kind of jot back here. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link or close to your pingback.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.

8. Have fun!

To find the full list of daily prompts from now until the end of the month, click this link: https://lindaghill.com/2017/12/27/what-is-just-jot-it-january-2018-rules/ and scroll down to the bottom of the post.

 

 


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#JusJoJan 2018, the 30th – Scrumptious

I consider myself lucky that I don’t enjoy baking; I love eating sweets so much, I’d weigh a thousand pounds if I baked them. So I put up with the fact that if I really want to eat sweets, I have to go to the store and buy them pre-made. Which I do. And I’ve found some delicious food as a result.

You know what’s really scrumptious in particular? This is:

Häagen-Dazs Spirits Rum Vanilla Caramel Blondie ice cream. I’m not sure if the Spirits series is still only available in Canada, but if so, it’s just one more great reason to visit. There are also Rum Ginger Cookie, Vodka Key Lime Pie (my favourite), Irish Cream Coffee and Biscotti, Whiskey Chocolate Truffle, and White Russian.  Here’s the website. Enjoy. I know I will be.

This delicious post is brought to you by Just Jot it January, and in particular, prompted by the word “scrumptious,” provided by Judy! Thank you so much, Judy! You can find her JusJoJan post by clicking right here. Please go and say hi! To participate in the prompt, please visit this post, where you’ll find the rules and you can leave your link in the comments.