Life in progress

Squirrels: This Time It’s Personal (part 13)

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This is the next installment from the epic Community Storyboard’s Chain Story Event.

Continued from Part 12 by the lovely and talented Belle, found here: Squirrels: This Time It’s Personal (part 12)

“Put us on speaker-phone!” The whiny chittering voice grated in Gandalf’s ear.

“What for, you mealy-mouthed-flea-infested-nut-breath’d…”

“Not so fast!” came a shout from the door. “Treebeard! There’s something in your hair!”

Gandalf turned to see the luscious-locked Aragorn, standing in the doorway pointing at Treebeard’s upper branches. Gandalf’s gaze followed the finger. “A spy!” he exclaimed.

The twittering giggles emitting from the speaker of the phone were making his head ache anew. He slammed down the telephone but then remembered it was a cell phone, so he picked it up again, turned it off and threw it over his shoulder. Meanwhile, the emerald clad Ent was flailing around his living room, simultaneously bashing at his own head to squash the intruder, and fighting off Aragorn, who was attempting to climb the less-than-limber fellow.

Just as Gandalf decided it might be a good idea to join in the fray (because Aragorn was making it look like so much fun) the sneaky squirrel reached Treebeard’s topmost limb and squeaked in triumph.

“Ah ha!” he taunted, one stubby finger in the air. “We have Darlene and now we know to get her out of Fangorn Forest!” The unscrupulous creature slapped his hand over his mouth with a muffled, “Oops!” Quickly forgetting his faux pas, (for squirrels have the attention span of, well, a squirrel) he held his scrawny finger up again and exclaimed, “You’ll never catch me now!” and with that he scampered out the door.

Aragorn perched his fists jauntily upon both hips and turned to Treebeard. “Don’t you ever comb your hair, Entwhistle? It’s a man’s glory, after all, to be well-groomed!”

“Don’t you think we have something more important at hand, ranger?”

The future king looked stunned. “Like what?”

“Like catching yon rodent,” Treebeard explained slowly, as though talking to a toddler. “Freakin’ showoff,” he mumbled as he ambled out the Ent-sized hole in Gandalf’s front entrance. “I’ll go find the critter!” He didn’t look back.

“I think you’re barking up the wrong tree, trying to get him to take care of his looks,” Gandalf said. “Did you see that suit?”

They had a chuckle and sat at Gandalf’s kitchen table.

“Coffee?” the wizard offered. “It doesn’t look like I’ll be getting any sleep tonight anyway,” he murmured more to himself.

“Sure, but no sugar. I’m sweet enough.”

Gandalf looked up and winced when he saw a glint shine off Aragorn’s tooth. Damn, but he was handsome.

“It seems we have a problem,” the charming ranger said, flipping his shimmering tresses over his shoulder. “Did you know Gosling and Mc Adams were murdered in cold blood?”

“I heard.”

“Ah, but there’s more of a problem than meets the eye. You see, I anointed Gosling with a mission…”

“What do you mean, ‘anointed’? Did you drop it on his head?” The wizard sat and rested his elbows on the table, across from the man.

“As a matter of fact I did. Don’t interrupt. As I was saying, Gosling was on a mission of my anointment,” he challenged Gandalf with his menacing but well-plucked eyebrows, but Gandalf refused to take up the gauntlet. Aragorn went on. “But now it seems I have forgotten what the mission was. I know it was important.”

“Oh, for the love of…” Gandalf facepalmed.

“But all is not lost!”

“How do you figure?”

“Well, you see, I’m working on resurrecting Gosling. I found his missing kidney and between myself and Legolas I think we can have him up and working on the case within the next few hours.”

“And Mc Adams?”

Aragorn looked sincerely forlorn. “I’m afraid our only hope is to find her missing heels. Those gams…” He stared off into space.

“Ranger!”

“Oh, yes. Sorry. I had Smeagol sift through the rubble at the Burgundy Herring Seafood Shack and Pool Hall. That’s where he found the evidence that they’d taken Darlene. But devastatingly, the second heel was nowhere to be found.”

The old man shook his wizened gray head. “What a shame. I suppose we should get out there and search for the waitress. She might have gathered some information on the ‘Goddess’ since she’s been in the slimy paws of those…” He shuddered.

“After coffee.” Aragorn lifted his cup to his full lower lip and Gandalf couldn’t help notice the rippling of well-toned muscles under the man’s tunic.

Get ahold of yourself man! Gandalf thought. Too much time hanging around with Dumbledore.

“…a shower.” Aragorn had been speaking while he was off on his own little fantasy-tangent.

“What?” he asked the glimmering king-to-be.

“I’d like to have a shower before we go, too. Do you have any Pantene?”

This is going to be a long night, Gandalf grumbled to himself.

And that’s my bit. I’m passing the gauntlet to Briana Vedsted. Take it away, Briana!

Author: Linda G. Hill

There's a writer in here, clawing her way out.

22 thoughts on “Squirrels: This Time It’s Personal (part 13)

  1. Pingback: Squirrels: This Time It’s Personal (TThe Final Part: Wine and Cheese) | The Community Storyboard

  2. Pingback: Squirrels: This Time It’s Personal (The Final Part: Prologue) | The Community Storyboard

  3. Pingback: Squirrels: This Time It’s Personal (part 15) | rarasaur

  4. Pingback: Squirrels: This Time It’s Personal (part 14) | When I Became an Author

  5. Hahaha! This was a great section, Linda! Nicely weaving it all into place 🙂 I have to agree with some others – that cell phone hang up was too funny 😛
    Ellespeth

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  6. Dang…should have used anti-resurrection ammo! LOL!!

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  7. I am with John, love the phone call scene. This is great. You did a terrific job! i am at a loss on this now…I know that Darlene is still alive, at least I think she is, but I don’t know where now? I can’t imagine Gosling coming back to life, but stranger things have happened. Still intrigued.

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  8. Loved the cell phone hang up. I would have loved to see Goslin and Mc Adams come back.

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  9. Lol!! I am desperately trying to stifle my laughter (in my office). You actually tied up lots of loose ends. I like the fact that he “slammed down the phone, but remembered it was a cellphone…”! Priceless!

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  10. That was so funny, and you linked everything together so seamlessly. I love the chance that Gosling and McAdam could come back, talk about killer heels, lol. I can’t wait to see how it will end, although I almost don’t cos it’s too much fun 😉

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  11. Well done, Linda! You’re kept all the pieces together! The story just gets better and better :).

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  12. Pingback: CSB Chain of Madness Volunteer List! | The Community Storyboard

  13. Oooohoooo! I like bringing Gosling and McAdams back. I love how no one has ever actually said what Aragorn’s quest is. Great job Linda! 😀

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  14. Reblogged this on The Community Storyboard and commented:

    The next installment… things are heating up all round!

    Like

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