Linda G. Hill

Life in progress


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Raw – #AtoZChallenge

Real men eat it on the hoof.

The above quote is from a late friend of my father’s. He said it every time he cooked a steak, and though I thought he meant a cow, he always ate his beef medium rare… Ah, the 1970s. I was so young and innocent.

I had a friend of my own, of German heritage, who enjoyed eating raw hamburger meat with spices mixed into it. When I was in Japan, I was given a raw egg to mix with some kind of powder, to pour on my rice for breakfast. I left the egg in its shell. Why? Because here in North America we’re told to cook our food, and if, God forbid, we come in contact with it when it’s raw, DISINFECT! That stuff’s poison! Except there are so many people who survive other cultures.

A few months back, someone died because they ate raw salmon here in Ontario. Yet I love–I luuuuurve salmon sushi. So what’s the diff? Seriously, maybe someone out there can tell me. My best guesses are that they serve fresher meat (and eggs) in other countries, or that they’re more careful to keep their products at a safe temperature.

I’ve eaten raw bacon and survived. I’ve licked the cake-batter bowl clean. And don’t even get me started on cookie dough. Ugh! Nomnomnom.

What do you eat raw?

***
You know what you don’t need to cook before you consume it? My A to Z Challenge-inspired novelette, “All Good Stories”! It’s a romantic comedy about two best friends who belong together – Xavier knows it, but Jupiter has her eye on another guy: a shady character named Bob.

“A delightful read!!” ~ Cheryl Lynn Roberts, 4 stars, Amazon Canada review

“A short funny tale of two friends” ~ Ritu, 4 stars, Amazon UK review

“Quirky and charming.” ~ Bobby Underwood, #11 top reviewers on Goodreads – 5 stars

Click the picture to find it on Kindle, or get it on Kobo here: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/all-good-stories


12 Comments

Purloin – #AtoZChallenge

Confession time: the word “purloin” has always reminded me of a nice, juicy piece of medium-rare beef .

I have to say thank you to my poor thesaurus today. For all the complaints I’ve bestowed upon it this month for some of the crappy words I’ve ended up with, this one makes up for them. I love the word “purloin” not because it’s a great word in and of itself, nor because it makes my mouth water, but for its synonyms. Reading through them in my thesaurus is like taking a page out of a noir detective movie starring Humphrey Bogart.

Bugsy made off with the goods, see? He musta pinched them when no one was looking, that dirty, no good thief. We’ve been snaffled.

“Filch, finger, lift, pocket, snitch, and swipe” are a few more.

With that, I think I’ll go to the store and appropriate a steak tomorrow. With my debit card, see?

***
Wanna read my A to Z Challenge-inspired novelette, “All Good Stories”? You don’t have to pilfer it–it’s only 99¢ on Kindle and Kobo. It’s a romantic comedy about two best friends who belong together – Xavier knows it, but Jupiter has her eye on another guy: a shady character named Bob.

“A delightful read!!” ~ Cheryl Lynn Roberts, 4 stars, Amazon Canada review

“A short funny tale of two friends” ~ Ritu, 4 stars, Amazon UK review

“Quirky and charming.” ~ Bobby Underwood, #11 top reviewers on Goodreads – 5 stars

Click the picture to find it on Kindle, or get it on Kobo here: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/all-good-stories


47 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Danger!

I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. Crocs in Ontario waters!

Croc sunning itself by the water

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

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#SoCS – The Measurement of Moo – #AtoZChallenge

The word my thesaurus gave me today is “measurement.” The following is pure stream of consciousness writing. Unedited.  Enjoy.

The measurement of moo can vary. It might be simply moo, it may be moooo–I think it depends on the cow.

Or perhaps it relies on how hungry is the cow.

A cow who is famished may have a lengthy moooo, whereas a contented cow might have a moo. Does this mean an overstuffed cow gives out a mo?

Mo, the cow, lived in a meadow where the grass was very green. She was a lonely cow–all of her cow friends had gone off to less green pastures. Which meant they were shipped off to farms where they only served hay. Mo knew this because one of them, as she was going by in the back of a truck on her way from one hay-ish farm to another, yelled out, “YO! Mo! Thar’s hay in them thar hills!”

Mo was not a contented cow. She longed for a bull to call her own. She was fat from all the green, green grass she consumed on a daily basis, and she was very blue. Which was why she didn’t go with the other cows. No one wanted a blue cow named Mo.

The years passed, and Mo got fatter and fatter. Her only visitor was Flo, the lady farmer who looked after the farm. Every day Flo came to pat Mo on the head, and Mo would say “Mo,” and Flo would answer back, “Ho! Did you say ‘mo’? You’re supposed to say ‘moo,’ ya stupid blue cow!” and yes, Flo said this every day because she had no memory from one day to the next.

But then, one day, a bull showed up at the fence. It was a runaway bull from across the way, and he happened to be green.

“Mo,” said Mo when she saw him. She carefully approached the fence. She’d never seen a green bull before.

“Mooooo,” said the bull.

“Are you hungry?” asked Mo.

“I am,” replied the bull. “I’ve been walking up and down this road for days. My farmer doesn’t know I’m missing.”

“Oh dear,” said Mo. “Why don’t you hop over the fence and have some of my grass?”

So the bull did, and months later, they had a little brown calf whose name was Moo. And they all lived happily ever after. Except for Flo, who couldn’t figure out where the green bull came from and why all her cows were so stupid.

The End.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday is fun! Click the link and join in today. https://lindaghill.com/2017/04/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-apr-1517/


7 Comments

Later – #AtoZChallenge

I was going to write this post before lunch, but my thesaurus had other ideas.

The temptation is great to take a picture of my thesaurus, to prove the word second from the bottom on the right-hand page is really “later.” And my quote above is not a lie. I procrastinated purely because of the word itself.

There aren’t very many synonyms in my book for “later.” There are seven: “after, afterwards, next, sequentially, subsequently, successively, thereafter.” Strangely enough, procrastination isn’t there. But “later” is certainly the word I use most when I’m putting something off.

And I put far too many things off lately. I have an excuse – I’m working. For money. Like, real money and everything. It’s my excuse for not publishing the book I was going to get out before this year, and then by the spring, and now, hopefully, before summer. And yes, it’s a good excuse, yet I’m getting angry at myself, because I really want to get my own book published. What I need is someone to kick my ass every time I say the word “later.” Yeah, that’s what I need.

***

Don’t wait ’til later, buy it now!  For only 99¢, you can get my A to Z Challenge-inspired novelette “All Good Stories.” It’s a romantic comedy about two best friends who belong together – Xavier knows it, but Jupiter has her eye on another guy: a shady character named Bob.

“A delightful read!!” ~ Cheryl Lynn Roberts, 4 stars, Amazon Canada review

“A short funny tale of two friends” ~ Ritu, 4 stars, Amazon UK review

“Quirky and charming.” ~ Bobby Underwood, #11 top reviewers on Goodreads – 5 stars

Click the picture to find it on Kindle, or get it on Kobo here: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/all-good-stories

 


14 Comments

Kindle – #AtoZChallenge

Ironically, it’s easier to set a paperback alight.

The fact that the word “kindle” in my thesaurus says nothing about the Amazon company’s hardware for reading ebooks caused me to do a little research. First, the copyright in the front of my book is 1998. I thought, ah-ha! That must be why. It is and it isn’t. Well, technically it IS–Amazon released the first Kindle in 2007–but apparently it wasn’t the first ereader by a long shot.

According to Wikipedia, the first commercially available ereader was the Rocket Ebook, which came out the same year as my thesaurus. More interestingly, as per Google, the very first automated reader was invented in Spain in 1949. I think the thesaurus was invented long before that, however. Considering its name, it could even have been dug up like an old bone.

Anyhoo, getting away from all that boring history stuff, “kindle” has some of the most amazing synonyms: “arouse,” “brighten,” “ignite,” “incite,” “sharpen,” and my favourite, “inspire,” to name a few. It’s enough to make you want to write a book. Or read one.

***

Hey, come to think of it, you know which book you should read? Mine! And you can get it on Kindle for only 99¢! Check out my A to Z Challenge-inspired novelette “All Good Stories.” It’s a romantic comedy about two best friends who belong together – Xavier knows it, but Jupiter has her eye on another guy: a shady character named Bob.

“A short funny tale of two friends” ~ Ritu, 4 stars, Amazon UK review

“Quirky and charming.” ~ Bobby Underwood, #11 top reviewers on Goodreads – 5 stars

Click the picture to find it on Kindle, or get it on Kobo here: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/all-good-stories


17 Comments

Jumble – #AtoZChallenge

When life is chaotic, it’s good to know a cup of tea is as close as the kettle, even if my bed is hours away.

Yippieee! Today my thesaurus has given me a word to play with that’s both a noun and a verb! That means I can jumble my jumble, or confuse my gallimaufry (which makes sense, because I have no idea what a gallimaufry is). I can muddle my mishmash, scramble my potpourri… I can even tangle my rat’s nest! Wait… my pillow does that every night. That’s what my comb is for.

But you know what? I’m too tired to mix up my miscellany tonight. My house is a hodgepodge, a farrago (another one I have to look up), a mess. It’s disarranged. Yeah, let’s go with that one. And my mind is all higgledy-piggledy, so I think I’ll just tumble off to bed and start all over again tomorrow.

Goodnight, all!

***

For more humorous reading, please check out my A to Z Challenge-inspired novelette “All Good Stories.” It’s a romantic comedy about two best friends who belong together – Xavier knows it, but Jupiter has her eye on another guy: a shady character named Bob.

“A short funny tale of two friends” ~ Ritu, 4 stars, Amazon UK review

“Quirky and charming.” ~ Bobby Underwood, #11 top reviewers on Goodreads – 5 stars

Click the picture to find it on Kindle, or get it on Kobo here: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/all-good-stories