Linda G. Hill

Life in progress


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296. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language.

Saturday, June 23rd, 7:00pm
Hillary (and Drommen)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.

Hillary: (slurring drunkenly) Fuck do you want?

Drommen: Have you been with that Sean guy?

Hillary: What’s it to you? What do you care?

Drommen: I do. You’re not taking care of yourself. And Sean certainly isn’t taking care of you.

Hillary: He’s takin’ better care of me than you have. Dick.

Drommen: I’m taking you home.

Hillary: I’m not going home. Don’t you have a date to go to or somethin’?

Drommen: I do. But you’re more important.

Hillary: Fuck off.

Drommen stares at her for a moment.

Hillary: Sean’ll look after me. An’ if you try to take me home, I’ll scream.

Drommen: Have it your way.

Drommen changes seats.

 

Next stop: Sunday, June 24th, 11:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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295. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, June 22nd, 5:00pm
Juliette (and Drommen)

 

Juliette sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.

Juliette: Please be gentle.

Drommen: I beg your pardon, Madame?

Juliette: Well, you see, this is my first time on a bus, and you are the first man to sit beside me.

Drommen: Ah. Common bus etiquette demands that I at least introduce myself. I’m Jake.

Juliette: (smiles and extends gloved hand) I’m Juliette. It’s very nice to meet you, Jake.

Drommen: (takes her hand and kisses the back of it) My pleasure entirely.

Juliette: I’ve heard so many horror stories about taking the bus. I’m happy to find they’ve proven unfounded.

Drommen: I’m sure whatever you’ve heard is total nonsense. I try to come on the bus as often as I can, and there are few worse than myself.

Juliette: Well then. If you are just about as bad as it gets, I shall cease to worry.

Drommen: Quite right. I was going to ask you … would you mind if I …

Juliette: Yes?

Drommen: … change seats with you? I have a long way to go.

Juliette: Not at all.

 

Next stop: Saturday, June 23rd, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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294. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, June 21st, 7:00pm
Kyra (and Sean)

 

Kyra sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Kyra: Oh God, not you again.

Sean: Yep. Me again.

Kyra: Well at least I won’t have to worry about seeing you for a while. I’m flying down to see my gramma in Florida.

Sean: Hope you’re in good shape.

Kyra: What for?

Sean: Ever been on a plane before?

Kyra: Nope. First time.

Sean: ‘Coz you’ve gotta flap your arms or the plane won’t take off.

Kyra: Bullshit.

Sean: Seriously. If everyone doesn’t flap their arms, the plane won’t leave the ground. All part of cost cutting and energy environmental crap. It was on the news.

Kyra stares at him.

Sean: Ask anyone.

Kyra turns away, squeezing her arm muscles discretely as she looks out the window.

 

Next stop: Friday, June 22nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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293. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, June 20th, 5:00pm
Melina (and Zoey)

 

Melina sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside her.

Melina: Wait, what year is it?

Zoey: Errr … 2018 …?

Melina: You’re not sure either, eh?

 

Next stop: Thursday, June 21st, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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292. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, June 19th, 5:00pm
Sherman (and Phil)

 

Sherman sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside him.

Sherman: Back on the bus, are you?

Phil: (frowns) Yes.

Sherman: Have a change of heart about that new car of yours?

Phil: Actually, I took what you said to heart and traded my car in for an electric one.

Sherman: It’s not the bus, but it’s a step in the right direction towards being environmentally friendly.

Phil: Pfft. Yeah. Except I forgot to plug it in.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, June 20th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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291. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, June 18th, 6:00pm
CeeGee (and Remy)

 

CeeGee sits at the window, talking on her phone. Remy takes the seat beside her.

CeeGee: (into her phone) Boots. What are you wearing? (pause) Yes, that’s all I’m wearing. (pause) That noise in the background? Its the beating of my heart. (pause) I’m in bed, where are you? (pause) Oh yes, take it out, big boy.

Remy: (shaking his head and mumbling) Unbelievable.

CeeGee: (glares at Remy) Oh that’s just the TV. So where were we? Oh yeah, I was just pinching my …

Remy: (singing) Feelings. Nothing more than feelings.

CeeGee: (eyes wide, if-looks-could-kill glare at Remy) It’s the radio. (pause) Yes, I listen to the radio while I’m watching TV. The point is, I’m not wearing anything except boots. Now let’s get on with it, shall we? (pause) Yeah … that’s more like it. Show me what you got, baby!

Remy: (loudly) Tickets! Get your tickets here!

CeeGee: Oh yes, baby, yes! (pause) It’s nothing, just do it, baby, do it! Oh I’m so hot!

Remy: (louder) Ice cream!

CeeGee: (faces the window) I can’t turn the TV down, it seems to be stuck. But that doesn’t matter, baby. What matters is I need you! (pauses) What do you mean, “What am I really wearing?” I’m wearing my boots, just for you! (pauses) Oh, baby, don’t hang up! No, no, no, don’t! … (looks at phone. Sighs. Turns to Remy) Ice cream? Seriously?

Remy: Nice boots.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, June 19th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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290. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, June 17th, 7:00pm
Murna (and Bozo)

 

Murna sits at the window. Bozo, carrying half a dozen helium balloons, takes the seat beside her.

Murna: What are you supposed to be?

Bozo: I’m a clown.

Murna: Bit late on a Sunday for a clown to be out, isn’t it?

Bozo: I’m a special clown. I only do parties for ladies.

Murna stares.

Bozo: And occasionally gay men.

Murna: You take your costume off?

Bozo: (smiles) Everything but the makeup and the shoes.

Murna: So what do you do with the balloons?

Bozo: I tie them to …

Murna: NO! Don’t tell me.

Bozo: (shrugs) People seem to like it.

Murna: (thinks for a moment) What are you doing next Saturday?

Bozo: Why? You got a party coming up?

Murna: I won’t be home. But you could give my husband some tips.

 

Next stop: Monday, June 18th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.