Linda G. Hill

Life in progress

1 Comment

25. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, September 25th, 5:00pm
Candice (and Phil)


Phil: (approaches Candice, who is sitting at the window) Mind if I sit here?

Candice: Go right ahead.

Phil: I’m sorry, I’m not very good at bus etiquette. I don’t take the bus.

Candice: Oh.

Phil: My car broke down.

Candice: That’s too bad.

Phil: I work in an office downtown, and I usually drive.

Candice: I see.

Phil: My car has been in the shop for a week now.

Candice: You must really miss it.

Phil: I do. They think it’s something to do with the alternator, but I think it’s a computer problem.

Candice: (nods) Ahh.

Phil: I work on computers all day so I know a thing or two about computers.

Candice: I see.

Phil: So what do you do for a living?

Candice: I’m a dominatrix.

Phil stares, mouth hanging open.

Candice: I work in a dungeon where I tie up men and occasionally women, and I torture them for money.

Phil, frozen, continues to stare.

Candice: I take it you’ve never tried it?

Phil takes out his cell phone and dials a number. Candice watches him.

Phil: (into the phone) Yeah, Discount Car Rental? Do you have any cars available? … Now. … Where? (holds the phone away from his ear and speaks to Candice, enunciating as though talking to a deaf person) What’s. The. Next. Stop?


Next stop: Tuesday, September 26th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


24. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, September 24th, 10:00am
Madigan and Barb


Madigan: (looking out the window) So what makes you think Ken’s fooling around on you?

Barb: He’s just acting really weird lately.

Madigan: (regards Barb) Weird like what?

Barb: I don’t know. It’s just one of those things a wife notices. You wouldn’t understand.

Madigan: What does that mean?

Barb: Well, you know. You and Tom were never really happy.

Madigan: That doesn’t mean I wasn’t a wife to him.

Barb: Come on, Maddie. He never even loved you. How can you say you knew him at all and that you’d notice little things that a real wife does, when you couldn’t even comprehend that? And anyway, you weren’t even married.

Madigan: (turns to the window) Marriage is just a piece of paper.

Barb: You wouldn’t know though, would you? You’ve never been married. Ken loved me enough to put a ring on my finger and tell the whole world that he wanted to spend his life with me. Nobody’s ever done that for you.

Madigan: (looks sharply at Barb) And yet you think he’s fooling around on you!

Barb: (checks her fingernails) Eeh, it’s probably just my imagination.

Madigan: (stares out the window and mumbles) Don’t count on it.


Next stop: Monday, September 25th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


23. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, September 23rd, 9:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward and Drommen)


Alice: Oh shit, there’s sparkles again. He’s getting on the bus.

Bella: Pretend you don’t see him.

Alice: So yeah, did you see that guy standing at the bar last night?

Bella: Oh yeah, the one with the…

Edward: (standing beside them in the aisle) I told you.

Bella: Told me what?

Edward: That I know where you live.

Bella: Then why are you following me?

Edward: Because I love you Bella. And I want to make you like me. (hesitates) I mean, a vampire. Not like me, because I know you love me alre…

Drommen: (sitting behind them, leans forward to speak to the girls) Is this man bothering you?

Bella and Alice together: Yes!

Drommen: (to Edward) I suggest you go and sit at the back of the bus.

Edward: Mind your own business. I’m here for Bella.

Drommen: It would seem that Bella isn’t here for you.

Bella and Alice start to get up.

Drommen: (to the girls) Would you like me to escort you home?

Bella: (nods) That would be nice, thanks.

Drommen: No problem. (stands up. To Edward:) Sit.

Edward sits and watches the three get off the bus.


Next stop: Sunday, September 24th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.

Leave a comment

22. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, September 22nd, 10:00pm
Edward (and Bella and Alice)


Edward sits at the window. Bella takes the seat beside him and faces Alice across the aisle.

Bella: (to Alice) Are you sure I look okay?

Alice: Bella, you look fine!

Bella: Cuz I’ve heard there are some really hot guys that go to this club.

Edward: You look wonderful.

Bella: (turns, noticing him for the first time) Who asked you?

Edward: No one. But you were going to.

Bella: (turns to Alice and whispers) What the fuck? (laughs) He’s wearing glitter.

Edward: I can hear you, you know. I have extra-sensitive hearing.

Bella: (to Edward) Look, creep …

Edward: I’m a vampire.

Bella bursts with laughter.

Edward: (seriously) How else would I know your name is Bella? (raises eyebrows)

Alice: Uh, because I said her name?

Edward bares a set of plastic teeth.

Bella: (to Edward, still laughing) Are you for real?

Edward: You’ll see tonight!

Bella and Alice get up and stagger, laughing, to the exit.

Edward: (yelling after them) I know where you live!


Next stop: Saturday, September 23rd, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


21. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language, adult theme.

Thursday, September 21st, 8:00am
Gerald and Dick


Dick: You’ll never guess what my wife and I did last night for dinner.

Gerald: (raises eyebrows) Do I want to know? I mean, really, are you sure I want to know?

Dick: (elbows Gerald in the ribs) Come on, of course you do. Anyways, I get home from work last night and she’s got all these candles going in the dining room, right?

Gerald: Lucky you don’t have kids.

Dick: Yeah whatever. Anyways, I walk in the door and there’s all these candles on the table and the sideboard and everything, and there she is dressed up in this … thing …

Gerald: What, like a gorilla suit?

Dick: No! She’s not wearing a gorilla suit! She’s got this black lacy thing on with her boobs hanging out, out to here (gestures with his hands in front of him) and this tiny little thong stuck up the crack of her ass that’s she’s wiggling at me …

Gerald puts his hand to his face and slouches in his seat.

Dick: … and on the table – get this – on the table is this assortment of whips and handcuffs, and I’m like, holy shit babe, this book you’ve been reading, it’s right up my alley.

Gerald: Don’t tell me …

Dick: That’s right, man. That Forty Shades dealio.  I got my hogtie on with the handcuffs and the ball in the mouth and shit and she went to town on my ass, all night long, man. It’s incredible! Man, you should get that book for your wife.

Gerald: (unenthusiastically) Sounds like balls of fun.

Dick: Speaking of balls, mine are fucking aching this morning. You know, after all that she didn’t even want to have sex. She just flat shut me out. It’s like she just wanted to beat the hell outta me.

Gerald: Hey maybe I should read that book … The lingerie’s not a requirement, right?

Dick: … I guess not. But what would you want to read it for?

Gerald: I don’t know, Dick. I don’t know.


Next stop: Friday, September 22nd, 10:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


20. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme.

Wednesday, September 20th, 8:00pm
Zoey (and Donald)


Zoey sits beside the window. Donald takes the seat beside her.

Donald: Hi.

Zoey: (looks at him suspiciously) Hiii?

Donald: Nice night out.

Zoey: You’re not going to ask me if you can play with yourself, are you?

Donald: (laughs) No. I’m on my way to a psychiatrist appointment.

Zoey turns to the window.

Donald: (leans toward her and whispers) I think I might be gay.

Zoey: And you need a psychiatrist for that?

Donald: I don’t want to be (whispers) gay.

Zoey: I don’t think you have much of a choice. You are or you aren’t. Or you’re bi.

Donald: (raises his eyebrows) Bi? You mean that’s really a thing? I thought it was a myth.

Zoey rolls her eyes and stares out the window.

Donald: You know, come to think of it, you kind of turn me on.

Zoey: Take your dick out and I’ll kick it.

Donald moves to another seat.


Next stop: Thursday, September 21st, 8:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


19. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, September 19th, 5:00pm
Jeff (and Candice)


Jeff sits beside the window alone.

Candice: (taking the seat beside him) Hey, aren’t you Sandi’s boyfriend?

Jeff opens his mouth but says nothing.

Candice: You’re Jeff, right?

Jeff: Yes …

Candice: Sandi told me all about you. I work with her.

Jeff: At the …

Candice: Dungeon, yeah. She says you’re going to save her.

Jeff tugs at his clerical collar.

Candice: It looks like all you want to do right now is save yourself from this conversation.

Jeff: (laughs) You’re very astute. What exactly did Sandi tell you about me?

Candice: She told me you spent a ‘heavenly’ weekend together.

Jeff: That we did.

Candice: So are you going to make an honest woman out of her?

Jeff: I’d like to. But I know she enjoys her job very much.

Candice: And I’m guessing you do too.

Jeff nods.

Candice: Have you ever thought about checking out where we work? I mean, for yourself … not to save everyone there.

Jeff: I couldn’t …

Candice: There are plenty of things that I would think you ‘couldn’t’ do.

Jeff looks down at his hands and smiles.

Candice: (bumps his shoulder with hers) Struck a nerve?

Jeff: (laughs wryly) I suppose I owe it to Miss Fantasia to see where she spends her days. She’s familiar with my workplace, after all.

Candice: I’m sure she’d be thrilled.

Jeff: (looks her in the eye) Thank you.

Candice: For what?

Jeff: For helping me see the light.

Candice: (slaps his knee) You’re a funny guy.


Next stop: Wednesday, September 20th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.