When I came across this statement (above) on Facebook it made me think. And then it made me think some more.
My first reaction was to recognize that I say this all the time: Everything happens for a reason. And while I do believe somewhere deep inside that it does, I believe even more the two word statement, everything happens. The other saying I often use is, Shit happens and there’s nothing anybody can do about it, which is probably the more accurate of the two. I don’t say it often to anyone but myself however, since it’s not very consoling.
Saying everything happens for a reason is a way to make me feel like I’m in control of a situation I have no control over. By considering what happened, whatever it is, and going through everything that happened as a result can be comforting, especially if the results were in some way positive. And let’s face it – you can always find something positive in something awful if you look hard enough. While it may not make up for the bad thing that happened, it’s better than nothing.
I have to realize, in the end, that there are things that are beyond my control. Whether I look for the good in them or not, they happen. Am I lying to someone when I console them with the statement above? I don’t think so, not if I can help them to find a glimmer where there would otherwise be a lack of hope.
Whether or not everything happens for a reason, you can decide for yourself. But to me it seems that simply saying “Everything happens,” is freeing. It takes the burden away of trying to control that which is out of my hands.
I’ll still look for silver linings, and I probably still won’t be telling people that shit happens and there’s nothing they can do about it. But I’ll be thinking it, now more than ever.
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3. Write anything!
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January 30, 2014 at 4:24 am
what is a ping back and how do,I do such a thing.
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January 30, 2014 at 6:10 am
I ping-back is when you copy the URL from a blog post and paste it as a link in the text (body) of your own post. A link back to YOUR post then shows up in the comments of the one you pinged.
It sounds much more complicated than it is. Let me know if this helps. 🙂
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January 29, 2014 at 8:48 pm
I have said enough to last another life time too 🙂 with the same belief as yours and I concur with Suzy and Nav too.
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January 29, 2014 at 9:45 pm
There are so many ways to look at it – more than I realized before I wrote this post in fact. 🙂
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January 29, 2014 at 8:37 pm
I think humans look for pattern in things, I don’t believe anything happens for any reason, I’m a stubborn atheist, I think we make our own way in like, some things happen, there is not invisible hand behind them 😉
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January 29, 2014 at 9:42 pm
Hmm… I suppose many people think it’s because of an invisible hand. For me it’s more a calculation thing – one thing leads to another as a natural, logical course. And along that course, good things come from bad.
Definitely a pattern thing. 🙂
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January 29, 2014 at 9:45 pm
I once read this book on Chaos theory, it seemed to make sense, but it also seemed like people justifying fate, I’m not convinced. 😉
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January 29, 2014 at 9:51 pm
Neither am I. People justify as a way of convincing themselves they have control over things that they don’t. I’ve been guilty of it, and I probably will continue to be. It’s something I can see with the logical part of my mind, and yet to completely lose faith in it would probably drive me insane. I would say that if you have escaped this conundrum, you’re lucky. 🙂
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January 29, 2014 at 9:56 pm
Sort of, most of my friends are into star signs and tarot cards, so no, there is no escaping. 😉
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January 29, 2014 at 9:59 pm
It’s everywhere! Haha!
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January 29, 2014 at 10:00 pm
I swear, I’m going to blog about this :p
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January 29, 2014 at 10:01 pm
Good! I’ll look forward to it. 😀
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January 29, 2014 at 10:01 pm
I should just transcribe my txts – I’ll get right onto it 😉
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January 29, 2014 at 10:03 pm
As good a place as any to start 🙂 I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found a blog post in a comment conversation. 😀
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January 29, 2014 at 10:07 pm
I’ll take out the profanity and bad spelling.
Hmm, that’s not a bad idea I’ve been a bit stuck for Ideas lately, thanks for the tip 😀
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January 29, 2014 at 10:11 pm
Always happy to inspire 😀
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January 29, 2014 at 9:56 pm
So was C.S. Lewis. }:-)>
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January 29, 2014 at 10:02 pm
A stubborn atheist?
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January 29, 2014 at 10:04 pm
Yes. And a wonderful person, too.
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January 29, 2014 at 10:30 pm
Just like me :p
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January 29, 2014 at 10:39 pm
That’s what I was alluding too, young lady. }:-)>
Now, given my advanced years, which LindaGHill can attest to, I am off to bed. Geritol shortage takes it toll.
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January 29, 2014 at 10:45 pm
Hey, who are you calling old? Young whippersnapper!
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January 30, 2014 at 9:02 pm
}:-)>
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January 30, 2014 at 5:34 pm
Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.
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January 30, 2014 at 9:02 pm
Thank you, Scarlet. It was a pleasant sleep. Didn’t snore too much.
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January 30, 2014 at 9:41 pm
Good, snoring is terribly hard to sleep through 🙂
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January 30, 2014 at 10:00 pm
So I’ve been told. }:-(>
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January 30, 2014 at 10:02 pm
I have a cure for it, I used to use it on my ex, I’d punch his shoulder 🙂
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January 30, 2014 at 10:17 pm
Ouch.
Afraid it’s bedtime again. Cheers.
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January 30, 2014 at 10:19 pm
Come on, you can’t take a punch for ma girl? Nighty night x
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January 30, 2014 at 3:09 am
Man – if you age is advanced I must be decrepit!!
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January 30, 2014 at 6:04 am
I know, right? Get this man an editor!!
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January 30, 2014 at 2:35 pm
How much is he paying?
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January 29, 2014 at 8:09 pm
Shit did happen. What goes around, comes around.
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January 29, 2014 at 9:38 pm
When you put it like that, I wonder if that’s the reason the toilet does that swirly thing before everything disappears.
😛
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January 29, 2014 at 9:57 pm
Okay. That was NOT poetic. 😉
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January 29, 2014 at 10:00 pm
Haha! It wasn’t trying to be. 😉
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January 30, 2014 at 3:08 am
That’s just a mental image I don’t need right now lol
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January 30, 2014 at 6:03 am
Haha! Sorry. 😛
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January 29, 2014 at 6:32 pm
Yes shit happens but why does it always happen to us! 😉
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January 29, 2014 at 9:34 pm
It happens to everyone – just not necessarily by the dump truck load. 😛 hehe
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January 29, 2014 at 6:28 pm
I second Suz!
Shit does, indeed, happen. But there is always a positive takeaway, even from the biggest pile of horribleness ever.
Even if it’s just: Now I know that not even THAT can kill me.
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January 29, 2014 at 9:32 pm
Yes! Or: I’ll never do THAT again!
🙂 I’m sure Suz will be happy to be seconded.
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January 30, 2014 at 3:07 am
I’m ecstatic!! And by Matt of all people! 🙂 Thanks Matt. lol
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January 29, 2014 at 4:28 pm
I concur! Am not a big fan of platitudes or glib phrases that are easy to utter, harder to make sense of. That said, I probably say them myself.
Things do happen, it’s how we deal with them, reconcile ourselves and cope with it that’s the important thing. And some have more to deal, reconcile and cope with.
🙂
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January 29, 2014 at 9:27 pm
Very true, and yet sometimes I see people struggling with things I normally consider trivial. It all comes down to our experiences. What is universal is, as you say, how well we deal with things. 🙂
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January 29, 2014 at 4:04 pm
Agreed.
Although if we look at any situation long enough we will always take away something we can learn from it.
But really, stuff happens.
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January 29, 2014 at 9:24 pm
Always learning. Always. 🙂
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January 29, 2014 at 2:21 pm
“Sometimes the only thing we learn from defeat is we’ve been defeated.” I also like “It is what it is.” I use that often. I generally figure I’m not in control. I am in control of me, my attitude, and my outlook. I can act based on these things, I can take in the world based on these things, but sometimes there are things in the world which no matter what I do, they will not change. No matter how much I was everything my ex wanted, she wouldn’t date me, despite her words. All I could do was smile and do awesome things. I can’t change her mind. I can only show her why she should.
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January 29, 2014 at 9:18 pm
Yep, that pretty much says it all. I think what a lot of people fail to realize is that they’re in control of their own happiness – their attitude in general. It’s all in the way we look at things.
Thanks for this, Paul, m’ dear. 🙂
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