Linda G. Hill

Life in progress


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#SoCS – Setting a Ceiling

When we’re kids, we think we can do anything. Sky’s the limit. As we get older we realize that reality dictates differently. There are some things we thought we could do that we can’t. Flying by flapping our arms, for instance.

Putting on a cape and being a superhero may be one of the other things we might think we can’t do, but is that true? We might not be able to save the world, but I believe we limit ourselves to what we are conditioned to “know” of the world and how much we can change it. Sure, we may not be able to singlehandedly solve world hunger, but good deeds tend to roll downhill and gain momentum as they do. What we do today might have much farther-reaching effects than we can ever know. And if not, at least we tried.

It’s the same with personal goals. We humans tend to sabotage ourselves with our ideas that we can only go so far and do so much with our lives. I have a friend who was complaining (and with good reason) that he was stuck in a place of poverty, unable to fight his way out. Therefore, he is unhappy. I can fully understand that. Yet there are avenues – ones completely free of monetary cost – that he could pursue if he chooses to. I suppose that also depends on the depth of his unhappiness… I know what it is to feel completely unmotivated.

But I’ve learned one thing over the course of my life. The sky is the ceiling if you never go out. And the breadth of my imagination make the walls of my dreams. My belief that I can do just about anything I set out to do is only limited by my health and my ability to find ways around the barriers that inevitably come up. Yes, some barriers take years to navigate. But it’s only in those moments when I give up that the sky drops to eight feet above the floor.

… if this is what vertigo does to me, maybe it’s not such a bad thing …

This wildly philosophical post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2017/07/21/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-2217/

 


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#SoCS – Romance – Caution! This post has nothing to do with romance.

I never wanted to be a romance writer. That is, I never set out to be one. I’m more of a relationship writer. And let’s face it, romantic relationships are something most of us strive for, at some point in our lives.

Being interested in behaviors and the thoughts that make us all tick makes it a bit of a no-brainer that I’d write about relationships. Behaviors were explained to me in a course I took, for whatever reason, to learn about what makes my Autistic son do the things he does, and to learn to curb some of his inappropriate and unwanted behaviors. The most interesting (to me) thing I took away from that course is that we all engage in social behaviors, whether positive or negative. All the time. Every time we communicate with another human — or I suppose any living thing — we exhibit behaviors in order to get the response we hope for in return.

Smiling at a stranger, for instance, is a positive behavior. If I smile at someone, I hope for a smile in return. Okay, stay with me on this – these are just examples. If I stand in the middle of a crowded street and start crying, it might be because I hope for someone to try to comfort me, or ask me what’s wrong. This can be seen as a negative behavior. Manipulative, perhaps. Or maybe it’s a genuine cry for help.

The most important part of this is that our children do things like the last example, all the time. Whether they’re Autistic or not. Knowing, as a parent, what is a genuine cry for help and what is simply a manipulative behavior bent on getting our attention can be tricky, but discerning the difference can be a valuable tool.

Go back to the smiling thing. If I smile at, say, ten people I pass on the street and not one of them smiles back, I’m going to give up. My behavior is obviously not giving me the response I’m going for. Rather, it’s being ignored. Now take the screaming, crying child. What is yelling back at them going to do? Encourage the behavior, because it’s giving them exactly what they’re seeking. Attention. No words, and no amount of negative behavior back at them is going to stop their crying. But if we ignore it… and sometimes it can take ten times before they get it… their behavior will stop.

In the ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) program I was taking, it’s called “planned ignoring.” It’s very simple, and it works. I can attest to that.

Ah, romance. How the hell did I get here? Relationships. Right. All birds of the same feather. And this is why I’m a multi-genre but single-minded author.

This insanely all-over-the-place post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Find the rules and the prompt here: https://lindaghill.com/2017/03/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-mar-1817/ and join in. It’s insanely fun!


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#SoCS – Spring Forward and other ridiculousness

Well, I missed the deadline for my own prompt.  What a loser!! In my (self) defense, I was extremely busy playing Wii Party today, and basically trying to distract the kid long enough for him not to do all the things he does when he wants attention. Ah, what I’d give to have a sixteen-year-old who stays in his room and wants nothing to do with Mom for just a day.

So now that it’s Sunday, it means we here in North America (at least) are into our shortest day of the year. Not because of sunlight, but because we’re “springing forward.” We’re losing an hour of sleep… or are we? When I was kidless, I would have said yes. But kids wake up at the same time, regardless. They don’t look at the clock and say, ‘well, time to wake up because it’s 7 am already!’ No, they get up with the sun no matter what the clock says. So for us parents, it can mean a shorter day tomorrow instead of a shorter night tonight. Which means we can put them to bed an hour sooner and get more time tomorrow… or at least until the sun starts co-operating.

I’m probably not making an ounce of sense at this point. It’s 12:40, which means it’s 1:40… which means I should probably be in bed.

Yeah, let’s go with that.

This post is brought to you by yesterday’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. Check it out at the following link and read all the posts! You can even join in… late, like me! https://lindaghill.com/2017/03/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-mar-1117/


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One-Liner Wednesday – Lemons

“If life hands you lemons… make lemonade. Then… try to find someone to whom life has handed vodka…”
Les Edgerton

 

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

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#SoCS – Hairy

Parenting is fun, isn’t it? Especially when you have to deal with a behavior-challenged child. Like mine. But I got the perfect teaching moment today, so I decided to go with it.

We’ve been having an issue with Alex bullying the dog. Luckily Winston is extremely patient and tolerant to having his ears pulled, his tail yanked on, being pinched, punched and kicked. I have a hard time dealing with it most of the time because it’s difficult to find anything to really punish Alex with that makes an impact. Until today.

He was waiting to go on his beloved bus ride around town. We were sitting together on the couch, both involved in what we were each doing. When Alex thought I wasn’t looking, he reached out and pinched the dog. For absolutely no reason whatsoever – the dog was sleeping beside him. I told him to stop – he looked me right in the eye and did it again. So that was it. No bus ride.

Alex cried. And cried and cried. He tried stroking Winston, he tried apologizing to both of us, but no. I stuck to my guns and told him if he was nice all day to the dog, I’d let him go on his bus ride tomorrow.  So he cried and sobbed, and choked on his own spit… then he kicked the dog, hard enough to make him yelp. No bus tomorrow, and he had to go up to his room.

Now his room is another story altogether. I have to take his little tv and his dvd player/vcr out of there, along with his lamp because I never know what he’s going to break next, and those are the things I can’t afford. The good news is — yes, there is some good news — he has learned the hard way not to break his movies. I have to admit that it hurt to let him do it. I made sure I took the ones out I really wanted to keep (this was months ago) and I just let him smash them. Standing outside his room listening to my money getting ready for the garbage was one of the most painful but teachable moments I’ve ever had with him.

And so I’m hoping this weekend’s lack of bus rides will be as well. The poor dog is such a lovely creature. Suffice to say though, today has been hairy.

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This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to read more about it and to find all the other awesome posts! https://lindaghill.com/2017/02/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-417/

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#SoCS and Just Jot It Jan 28 – Distraction

Hello? Can I come out now? Is the world sane in here? I really should know better than to spend the day reading Facebook. It seems the craziness is getting crazier out there, and I feel kinda helpless to do anything, you know? I would…

I was on Anne Rice’s FB page today. She was saying pretty much the same thing I was thinking – too distracted to work. My answer to her in the comments was that it’s we writers (yes, I actually had the balls to put myself in her category) need to write to give people the escape they need. Especially in times like these. Writers give the world not only books, but movies, shows, articles… truth and lies and fantasies through which to travel outside of reality, if for only a little while.

I read somewhere yesterday that we are in a state of low-level stress. In a place where anything could happen at any given moment. We’re on our toes so much more than ever before, for most of us. At least for such a prolonged period.

But here I am bringing the crazy here. I want to forget about it for a while. Get lost in a book that has no fighting. (Guess A Game of Thrones is out.) I need a romance novel, something light, something that will take my mind off it all. I may even be forced into watching TV for a change. Or a movie. Yeah, a movie. Time to put Netflix to good use.

I’m going to hang around and read some blogs first… 🙂 Hope you’ve all had a good day, my friends.

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This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday and…

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Just Jot It January! Click the link to join in and read some awesome posts! https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-and-jusjojan-jan-2817/


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Just Jot It Jan 27 – Incomplete

The word “incomplete” has been running around in my head all day. Somewhere at the back, where it hasn’t been in the way much. I’ve been trying to figure out what, in my life, is complete. The final conclusion is nothing. But why?

Well, if I really think about it (in the front of my head), if something is complete, I usually set it aside. And sometimes I forget it. This is a good thing, of course, if the complete thing is not a thing I wanted to keep anyway. So what of the things I do wish to hold onto?

I wouldn’t want a relationship to be complete, because what would be the challenge after that? Things that aren’t challenging become boring. Take games, for example. An unchallenging game, like playing Crazy Eights against myself, would quickly turn into a game of 52-card pickup. For me at least. That’s why they invented Solitaire. I’m convinced of it.

And even worse, who would want someone else to complete them? Oh yeah, the end of Jerry Maguire is romantic and all. But just imagine it. Being completed. You wouldn’t need to get up in the morning.

“Honey, breakfast is on the table!”

“Not coming down today, Sweetheart.”

“But, I made pancakes! And coffee!”

“Nope! I’m done. You did me!”

That would be awful! I’m so glad I’m incomplete.

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Many thanks go to Cyn for our prompt today, “incomplete.” You can check out her latest post here: https://cynk.wordpress.com/2017/01/27/fitness-friday-secret-identity/ Go say hi!

And Just Jot It January is still a fun challenge, even if the month is almost complete. Why? ‘Coz you can join in any time! Click here for details and to read all the awesome posts: https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/27/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-27th17/