Davey Jones: (with an Indian accent so thick, I could barely understand him) Is this Ms. Hill?

Me: (with my usual response) No I’m sorry, she’s not here right now. Can I take a message?

DJ: Are you a family member?

Me: Yes.

DJ: My name is Davey Jones and I’m calling from Windows operating system about your computer.

Me: I don’t have a computer.

DJ: Oh… well maybe you have a laptop?

Me: (looking at two laptops on the table) I don’t have a laptop either.

DJ: Oh… well maybe you have a PC?

Me: I don’t have a computer at all.

DJ: How old are you?

Me: That’s none of your business.

DJ: Are you a virgin?

Me: (hangs up, laughs out loud)

The phone number he called from is 607-723-1168. If you see this number on your call display, and you’re speaking to Davey Jones, please please please! tell him to fuck off on my behalf.

Thank you.