Life in progress

Category Archives: Funny


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One-Liner Wednesday – What day is it anyway?

I’ve thought it was Wednesday all day today, and yet as I schedule this post I have to remember that yes, it’s Tuesday today and no, if I schedule it for 2am tomorrow it’s not going to show up on Tuesday …

I swear, some days are just extra AHHHHH! Hehehe!

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com

The Magician’s Curse (2.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else (Amazon worldwide, Kobo, etc.)
The Magician’s Blood (3.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
The Magician’s Soul (3.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
“The Great Dagmaru” Complete Series (6.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
The Magician’s Sire (free with sign-up) here.


by 41 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Oh look! It’s another prompt!

I’m just here to say I’ve still got Christmas chocolates.

*gloats in assorted Quality Street flavours*

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com

The Magician’s Curse (2.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else (Amazon worldwide, Kobo, etc.)
The Magician’s Blood (3.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
The Magician’s Soul (3.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
“The Great Dagmaru” Complete Series (6.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
The Magician’s Sire (free with sign-up) here.


by 15 Comments

SoCS & #JusJoJan the 28th – Profundities

Do you ever read something profound and think I can write something profound?

So you sit down to write something profound and end up with:

If dirt was sentient, would it consider itself dirty?

Then do you realize how terrible you are at writing something profound and just throw in the towel?

Or is it just me?

***

This cozy post is brought to you by SoCS and Just Jot it January. Click the link to see how you, too, can join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2023/01/27/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2023-daily-prompt-jan-28th/

 

2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley! https://www.quaintrevival.com/


by 24 Comments

#JusJoJan the 27th/23 – Social amenities

Our prompt word for January 27th is “amenities.” Thanks so much, Kim, for the neat prompt!

I’ve been having issues with one of my amenities today. Specifically, my internet. Which is part of the reason I’m posting this so late. My reason for yesterday’s late posting? I forgot to hit the publish button. o_O

But I digress.

I learned something new today!

As I often do when I’m looking for inspiration for a post, I opened the dictionary. (I’m such a nerd.)

And I found this in Merriam-Webster:

usually amenities : something (such as a conventional social gesture) that promotes smoothness or pleasantness in social relationships

<maintaining social amenities>

Who knew?

Now that I know, it explains a few things for me.

I come to my blog and to most of the social media sites I visit to be social. To have nice conversations with nice people.

Which, I’ve realized, is why I feel icky when I use social media (or my blog) to try to sell my books.

Sure, they tell you when you advertise that you’re giving the consumer something they need (like my books), or something that will make you happy (definitely my books), but I can’t help but feel that it’s unsmooth and unpleasant to talk about buying my books (which you absolutely want to do) with people who are just trying to have a nice conversation with me.

So perhaps the subliminal approach is best.

Because the truth is, I’m excited about my books. Especially when I have a new release coming out soon. And although it might seem to lack social amenities to talk about my books, I’m sure there are people out there who are excited for me.

Right?

Yeah, no. Totally unsmooth.

 ***

This totally subliminal post is brought to you by Just Jot it January and Kim! Please be sure to check out Kim’s blog here!

For Just Jot it January, click the following link to see how you, too, can join in! https://lindaghill.com/2023/01/27/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-27th-2023/ It’s fun!


by 13 Comments

#JusJoJan the 24th/23 – Ideal

Our prompt word for January 24th is “ideal.” Thanks so much, Astrid, for the great prompt!

I like playing solitaire.

Because no matter what …

I deal.

See what I did there?

 ***

This ridiculous post is brought to you by Just Jot it January and Paula! Please be sure to check out Astrid’s blog here!

For Just Jot it January, click the following link to see how you, too, can join in! https://lindaghill.com/2023/01/24/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-24th-2023/ It’s fun!


by 8 Comments

#JusJoJan the 19th/23 – The complaint department

The prompt word of the day today is “complaint.” Thanks, John for the interesting prompt!

It’s inherent: as a mom, you’re the complaint department.

And if you’re a single mom, you don’t even have an employee (dad) to take over when the complaints pile up.

Because we all know being a mom is a thankless job, most of the time.

It doesn’t pay very well, either. Especially when the cuddles dry up and the customers no longer fit on your lap.

Wow. That simile got weird fast, didn’t it?

 ***

This short, sweet, and odd post is brought to you by Just Jot it January and John! Please be sure to check out John’s blog here!

For Just Jot it January, click the following link to see how you, too, can join in! https://lindaghill.com/2023/01/19/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-19th-2023/ It’s fun!


by 41 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday & #JusJoJan the 11th, 2023 – A squirrel!

I just wrote in my planner “Got distracted by Facebook/went to the pantry for nuts,” and now I’m convinced I’m actually a squirrel.

Picture courtesy of Canva

Photo: Cute red squirrel with a white belly and a fluffy black tail eating a peanut in its shell.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure.

Here are the simple JusJoJan Rules:

1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list), counts as a “jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. I’ll post prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5). The prompt will be the word in quotation marks in the title of my 2am post. You don’t have to follow the prompt every day, but that will be where you leave your link for others to see. You’ll get a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday and on Saturday, when your prompt will be the Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS, which will appear at about 9:30am Friday. Each prompt post will include the rules.

2 a) The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com

3. Please ping back or link to the daily prompt. To ping back, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! Note: A) The newest pingbacks will be at the top of the comments section. B) Ping backs only work if you’re blogging on WordPress. Everyone else must paste a link manually.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. If your post is NSFW, do not ping back. Please leave your link in the comments with a warning.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.


by 22 Comments

Skinnier than …

Funny story.

I was talking to my son Chris this morning about a dream he had of elephants.

As we were chatting, Winston, our dog, came into the kitchen to say hello to me.

I bent to pat him and asked him if he was an elephant.

“You’ve got four legs, and a tail, and floppy ears, and a long nose,” I told him. “But you can’t be an elephant. You’ve got a furry body.”

To which Chris replied, “Elephants are skinnier.”

“Skinnier than Winston? I’ve never seen an elephant skinnier than Winston,” I said.

“No, Mom, not skinnier. SKINnier. They have more skin!”

So I’m hereby declaring myself skinnier than an Irish Setter.

And no one is going to convince me otherwise!


by 27 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Ha!

Photo: Origami birds in pastel shades. Text reads: Do you know if the Origami Society is still in business? I heard they folded.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com

The Magician’s Curse (2.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else (Amazon worldwide, Kobo, etc.)
The Magician’s Blood (3.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
The Magician’s Soul (3.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
“The Great Dagmaru” Complete Series (6.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
The Magician’s Sire (free with sign-up) here.


by 34 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Clownin’ Around

Alex has been terrified of clowns forever. But he dressed up for one to go into the Santa Claus parade! Then he got home and saw himself in the mirror …

Photo: Alex, in clown makeup and costume, screaming at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. I think he actually scared himself when he first looked.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com

The Magician’s Curse (2.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else (Amazon worldwide, Kobo, etc.)
The Magician’s Blood (3.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
The Magician’s Soul (3.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
“The Great Dagmaru” Complete Series (6.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
The Magician’s Sire (free with sign-up) here.