Life in progress


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355. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, August 21st, 5:00 6:00pm
Simon (and Sofia)

 

Simon sits at the window. Sofia takes the seat beside him.

Sofia: I’m sitting here because there’s somebody at the back of the bus I don’t like.

Simon: Oh really?

Sofia: It’s more like I don’t understand her. All she talks about is guys with beards. She absolutely loves guys with beards. Can’t get enough of guys with beards. I wouldn’t mind, but she’s obsessed. And I don’t know – she’s just got really bad taste.

Simon: (turns) Which one is she?

Sofia: Doesn’t matter. She wouldn’t like you. You’re clean shaven.

Simon: Oh, I don’t care if she likes me. I just want to see how bad she tastes.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, August 22nd, 5:00pm

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Today’s News and What Social Media Finds Acceptable

I know I’m setting myself up for criticism here, but I just can’t not say anything. It’s been bugging me all day. I’ve accepted the fact that occasionally I’m stuck with coming across an image I don’t want to see on my Facebook news feed – sometimes it’s (in my opinion) poor judgement on the part of a ‘friend’ and sometimes (more often than not) it’s something that Facebook, in its infinite wisdom, has decided I want to see. But today takes the cake.

I am, of course, talking about pictures of beached babies. Isn’t it bad enough to hear about it? I have in fact NOT heard that much about it because I fear of the visuals I might come across online. Let me make this clear: I do not want to look at dead bodies. I don’t care how old they are, but particularly… I can’t even type it. It upsets me that much.

You might be thinking I’m burying my head in the sand, wishing it away to make it all better. I’m not. I acknowledge that innocent people die for many reasons all over the world every day. I’d save every one of them if I could.

You might also be thinking, “Oh poor Linda, not wanting to see things that hurt her poor feelings. How do you think the families feel?” Exactly! How would you feel if you accidentally came across a picture of a loved one, dead for all the world to see just so a point can be made? It’s not something I could ever forgive and certainly not something I’d ever forget.

If I’m missing something obvious to everyone else, please let me know. As I said, I haven’t heard the official story. It’s sad when it comes down to not knowing what’s going on because of the horribly bad taste of a photographer.

I have so had it with social media.


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“My Name is Davey Jones and I’m Calling From Windows Operating System”

Davey Jones: (with an Indian accent so thick, I could barely understand him) Is this Ms. Hill?

Me: (with my usual response) No I’m sorry, she’s not here right now. Can I take a message?

DJ: Are you a family member?

Me: Yes.

DJ: My name is Davey Jones and I’m calling from Windows operating system about your computer.

Me: I don’t have a computer.

DJ: Oh… well maybe you have a laptop?

Me: (looking at two laptops on the table) I don’t have a laptop either.

DJ: Oh… well maybe you have a PC?

Me: I don’t have a computer at all.

DJ: How old are you?

Me: That’s none of your business.

DJ: Are you a virgin?

Me: (hangs up, laughs out loud)

The phone number he called from is 607-723-1168. If you see this number on your call display, and you’re speaking to Davey Jones, please please please! tell him to fuck off on my behalf.

Thank you.