Linda G. Hill

Life in progress


32 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Trouble

Yesterday’s conversation between my mother (who has a sense of humour and dementia) and myself:

Mum: Did you know your dad died in 1948?

Me: No, Mum, it was 1978. I was born in ’64, so if he died in ’48, he wasn’t my dad.

Mum: Oh. I’d better shut up then, before I get myself in trouble.

And we laughed, and laughed …

___________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 

 


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46. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, October 16th, 1:00pm
Captain Longsight (and Zoey)

 

Captain Longsight sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Captain Longsight: (pulls binoculars from bag and peers through them out the window) Holy Shamoly!

Zoey: What?

Captain Longsight: There’s a crime going on down that sidestreet!

Zoey: (holds hand out for the binoculars) Can I see?

Captain Longsight: There’s no way you can see it.

Zoey: Why not? The bus isn’t going anywhere.

Captain Longsight: It’s not that. It’s just I have amazing powers of being able to see long distances.

Zoey: (laughs) Of course you can. You have binoculars.

Captain Longsight: Oh these? (holds up binoculars) These don’t matter. I’m Captain Longsight. I was born with extraordinary powers of farsightedness.

Zoey: Soo … why do you carry binoculars?

Captain Longsight: Well … You wouldn’t understand.

Zoey: Try me.

Captain Longsight: They were a gift.

Zoey: Kinda like your gift of farsightedness?

Captain Longsight: N0! Like a birthday gift.

Zoey: Huh. So, Captain Longsight, do you fight crime with your superpowers?

Captain Longsight: (pulls cell phone out of pocket and smiles) I call the cops!

Zoey: Hooray. (changes seats)

 

Next stop: Tuesday, October 17th, 2:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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44. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, October 14th, 8:00pm
Edward (and The Darkness)

 

Edward sits at the window. The Darkness takes the seat beside him.

Edward: (sniffs and turns to The Darkness) Who the hell are you?

The Darkness: I am The Darkness

Edward: No you’re not. I am the darkness.

The Darkness: I am The Darkness.

Edward: No, I am the darkness.

The Darkness: I AM THE DARKNESS!!

Edward: (hisses, showing plastic fangs) I AM THE DARKNESS!!

Both get kicked off the bus.

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 15th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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43. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme.

Friday, October 13th, 9:00pm
Drommen (and Candice)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Candice takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: (smiles) Hello.

Candice: Hi.

Drommen: Nice night out.

Candice: Yep.

Drommen: Mind if I masturbate?

Candice: Go for it.

Drommen: (raises eyebrows) Seriously?

Candice: Go right ahead. But don’t expect me to watch.

Drommen: (frowns) You won’t watch? Why not?

Candice: Okay, fine. But it’ll cost you.

Drommen: How much?

Candice: (regards him closely) You’re a good-looking guy. Fifty bucks.

Drommen: Are you a prostitute?

Candice: Nope.

Drommen: Then how can you charge me fifty bucks?

Candice: How can you ask me in the first place?

Drommen snorts and slouches in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

 

Next stop: Saturday, October 14th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


35 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – A Twofer!

Here’s a twofer: my table at my book signing on Sunday and a selfie, all in one!

I didn’t realize I was taking a selfie …

____________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion


Leave a comment

38. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, October 8th, 2:00pm
Drommen (and Bev, Darla and Vicki)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Bev takes the seat beside him, and Darla and Vicki sit down behind them.

Drommen: (smiling at Bev) Hello.

Bev smiles and nods.

Drommen: Mind if I masturbate?

Bev: Pardon?

Darla: (leans forward and says loudly) I think he said “Jersey is the Garden State.”

Vicki: (leans forward and says loudly) I thought he said “Rogers gives a rebate.”

Bev: (loudly) Really? A rebate on what? (turns to talk to Darla and Vicki) I was just saying to Sue the other day, I need a new iPhone …

Drommen slouches in his seat, arms crossed, and looks out the window.

 

 

Next stop: Monday, October 9th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


2 Comments

37. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, October 7th, 9:00pm
Holly (and Edward)

 

Holly sits at the window, staring out. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Edward: Hi.

Holly starts crying.

Edward: Are you okay?

Holly: (sobbing) My boyfriend left me!

Edward: That bastard!

Holly: I know! And I’m pregnant! And my husband is going to kill me!

Edward: (raises an eyebrow dramatically) Your husband?

Holly: Yes! What am I going to do? My husband is going to know it’s not his!

Edward: I can take him out.

Holly: (wipes her eyes and takes her first good look at him) What do you mean, “take him out”? Who the hell are you?

Edward: I’m Edward. I mean take care of him. You know … (hisses, showing his plastic fangs)

Holly frowns and stares at him silently.

Edward: Is your husband home now?

Holly: (stares for a moment longer, considering) Actually there’s this guy named Joel…

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 8th, 2:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.