I’ve bemoaned, before, the difficulty I’m having in trying to cut down the length of my manuscript whilst keeping the important little details intact – and at the same time making it readable. In a much broader sense than the idiom perhaps implies, the devil is in the details.
From http://www.usingenglish.com/reference/idioms/devil+is+in+the+detail.html – “When people say that the devil in the detail, they mean that small things in plans and schemes that are often overlooked can cause serious problems later on.”
After letting my ex read the beginning of my novel a couple of weeks ago, I know now that my problems are indeed serious. When we were together he was not only my sounding board, he was the one I wrote to impress, and impress him I did with the details I put into my stories. He told me that they were what drew him in, placed him in the story so that he could feel as though it was going on around him. Two weeks ago, however, the first criticism he gave me was, “Where’s the detail?” I knew I was screwed.
While you might want to scream at me, “He’s your ex, Linda! Of course he’s going to criticize!”, I know he wants me to succeed – and I’m sure it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that if I make millions off this book he won’t have to pay child support. Heh.
So what is detail, and how am I to know the extent to which I should go to add it? I personally don’t like to read a book where every nook and cranny is described; every piece of clothing, or each hair that is blown out of place. I think the most important details are the ones that stimulate the senses. They say the sense of smell brings the most vivid memories to mind, yet ironically it’s the one I most often forget, and have to insert into a scene after it’s written.
For me, the most efficient way to add detail is to eliminate the passive voice. Just one example and I’ll leave it there – the rest I’ll save for my fiction post.
It was hot and smelly in the kitchen.
vs
The steamy kitchen reeked of wet cat. What were they cooking?
The detail adds to the word count. And yet which would you rather spend time reading?
We’ve discussed it here in the past and the general consensus seemed to be that most people would rather read a longer well-written book than a shorter one that sucked. I agree. It’s why I read Stephen King.
What I’d love to know today is, what kinds of detail do you enjoy? Do you want to know what every character looks like or would you rather use your own imagination? Do you want to know what they’re wearing down to the designer, or is a pair of starched jeans enough to tell you that they go to way too much trouble with their laundry?
After you’ve commented, please visit my fiction blog for today’s A-Z installment, to see what I’ve done to demonstrate today’s topic! Find it here: http://lindaghillfiction.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/d-is-for-devil-in-the-details/
Thanks!
April 5, 2014 at 5:40 am
I like to imagine characters myself once a few pertinent facts have been described. Unless it’s necessary to a particular scene. But I do enjoy description of setting especially ones that invoke my senses. I do think it would be a shame to lose your voice in the edit if one of your strong points is description. I’ve done this myself before and it felt like I was reading someone else’s work. I’d be true to your voice and you always kind of know when something reads well. If it jars on you it will likely jar on your reader. I would trust your ex too. If he’s familiar with your writer’s voice and thinks that it has been lost in the edit, he’s probably right. And it seems you think so too. A difficult one when word count is an issue. Maybe tighten the plot to reduce any extraneous scenes but be true to voice. Gawd, I don’t know now! I’ve confused myself. 😉 x
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April 5, 2014 at 1:02 pm
Thanks very much for your advice and encouragement. I’ve actually already taken an entire novel’s worth of words out, and it’s still too long for a publisher to look at. As Paul said below, maybe I’ll just admit that it’s gotta be an epic and make it one. Either that or chop it up and make it a series.
Senses, as you say, are important – otherwise what is a book but a stack of papers? (or a screen of course). 😛
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April 5, 2014 at 1:04 am
These kind of issues make me never come back to the novel I wrote awhile back. It is very languid, and in my personal writing world, I do not like a lot of action. I think I will read it over again and seriously consider if I will ever publish it. I know I am enjoying reading a book at the moment where details transport to to another world, but do not overwhelm me.
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April 5, 2014 at 12:57 pm
I’ve read a few books that have read more like a tapestry than a tangible story, and I’ve enjoyed them very much. I actually mentioned one in the comments here – The Underpainter by Jane Urquhart. If you haven’t read it, your should check it out. It might give you some inspiration. 😀
Thanks very much for your comment, Julia 🙂
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April 5, 2014 at 12:48 am
Thanks for the thoughts on details, Linda. And pleased to meet you through the A to Z challenge. I’ve chosen to write picture books where the opposite holds true – economy of language is king and details are the domain of the illustrator. It’s definitely a disorienting approach, and I think I’d also like to one day craft a detail-rich tale for an adult audience.
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April 5, 2014 at 12:54 pm
Great point! I’ve written a children’s book myself – just waiting for an artist to come along. I’ll have to go through it with this in mind.
Thanks very much for commenting. It’s nice to meet you too! 😀
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April 4, 2014 at 11:18 pm
Definitely the second sentence. I can almost smell it now. For me I would say the amount of detail I like depends on the genre. I read a romance that had me literally screaming at the book, “I don’t CARE whether you wear the red Prada shoes with the tan Gucci handbag! Just put on some ‘effin’ clothes!” The character was very materialistic so I suppose it was a way to get that across, but I didn’t like it. I had to skim those details. Yet in a dystopian I recently read there was an eyepiece that allowed the character to communicate telepathically and it drove me nuts because there wasn’t enough description for me to visualize it. For everyday things, give me some basic info and let me use my imagination for the rest. If it’s something uncommon or from another world (fantasy, sci-fi) I need a little more description. Great post!
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April 5, 2014 at 12:52 pm
Thanks, Melissa 🙂 You make a good point – everyone knows what certain things look like so some description isn’t necessary. But for the stuff that’s made up out of the author’s imagination, the more the better. I’ll keep that in mind – thanks!
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April 4, 2014 at 10:28 pm
I like show and not tell. I’m fond of details, and I expect the writer to give me the details I need. I do not like Anne Rice-type descriptions of drapery fabrics and quilted sleeves and the rug, blah blah blah — too much talk of curtains and clothes annoys me. I think any intelligent reader can imagine the luxe quality of her settings with a lot less description.
And I’m not saying I don’t enjoy her work, but she kills me with details about shit that does not relate to the characters or the plot and it pisses me off, and doesn’t she have a bloody editor?!?
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April 5, 2014 at 12:48 pm
Haha! Maybe the bloody editor ended up a vampire victim. 😉
Anne Rice has actually gotten far worse in the past few years. I loved her before – now, not so much. I agree, too much is just overload.
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April 4, 2014 at 5:24 pm
I have to remind myself sometimes to restructure a sentence to paint the picture more however I guess that sometimes I write as I speak iykwim?
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April 4, 2014 at 8:00 pm
Me too! And that can be a good thing, as long as I’m really, truly, seeing what is going on inside my head. 😀
Thanks for bringing that up, Sue. 🙂
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April 5, 2014 at 6:10 pm
You are welcome my friend.
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April 4, 2014 at 4:30 pm
I prefer the second example. Writers paint pictures with their words. If you do it right you don`t need 100 words but sometimes to set the stag appropriately you might need 85. Stop worrying about numbers and paint your pictures. Sorry to rant, my opinion only.
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April 4, 2014 at 7:59 pm
And a very valuable opinion it is, thank you. 🙂 I once read a novel called The Underpainter by Canadian, Jane Urquhart. Have you read it? It’s an amazingly rich and well illustrated story. I recommend it. 🙂
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April 5, 2014 at 7:52 am
I know the author but not the book. I’ll look it up. ps I like the way you write.
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April 5, 2014 at 1:05 pm
Thank you, Quiall! That made me smile 🙂
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April 4, 2014 at 3:52 pm
I am in no way a writer, but I am an avid reader and I personally love detail. I want to see, smell, hear, taste and feel all that is occurring within the story. But, on the other hand, I have read some stories where there was definitely TOO much detail. I guess that is what makes a good writer – knowing where the details are needed and where they can be left to the imagination.
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April 4, 2014 at 7:56 pm
I agree. That balance is one of the hardest things to find – and it’s the difference between what becomes enjoyable and what ends up unreadable.
Thanks very much for your input! 😀
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April 4, 2014 at 3:05 pm
I used to read Dean Koontz for the same reason. I remember in one of his books – I think it was Dragon Tears – he describes a scene from a dog’s pov that was so aromatically detailed I was certain the dog must have dictated the chapter to him!
I like getting all the fine details about characters at the beginning – quirks, gestures, accent, clothing, etc… so it doesn’t need repeating. Their actions and speech will communicate and confirm their character later on. As for setting, if the details set the mood or move the story forward, then yes, include them.
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April 4, 2014 at 7:49 pm
I remember reading that scene! Amazing, wasn’t it?
Very good points you make about describing once and continuing the description subtly, through action and dialogue. And yes, there’s an art to describing settings so that they not only don’t bog down the story but also include the action that’s going on in them.
Thanks for this, Susan. 🙂
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April 4, 2014 at 3:01 pm
I was reading something, and I don’t know why I didn’t think about you. Someone basically said your novel should be 100k or lower, or 200k and higher. If you’re going to make an epic, make it an epic. The people interested in reading it understand what they’re getting into.
Good luck on it!
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April 4, 2014 at 7:46 pm
So I can put all my scenes back in? Especially the sexy photo shoot scene? Cool!!! 200K here I come! 😀
Thanks very much, Paul 😀
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April 4, 2014 at 7:55 pm
Uh…If sexy photo shoot needs a sexiness judge, I’m here for you.
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April 4, 2014 at 8:23 pm
Thank you 🙂 I’ll let you know.
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April 4, 2014 at 2:37 pm
I am a fan of details at certain timing. Introducing characters or to convey desire or feeling ( describing an outfit to conceptualize a characters building attraction to someone for instance). If it’s done right in the beginning then it’s not necessarily continuously throughout the book. We “get” the characters and our imagination fills in those little things like what they wear or how they look when they are expressing something. In a good book, the author could say “she’s mad” and a very vivid image of her expression, body language and overall demeanor automatically pops into my head. It’s all about timing for me. Sometimes , especially during the dramatic or action-y scenes too much detail can divert for the heart racing moments.
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April 4, 2014 at 7:45 pm
I totally agree. A small mention of blue eyes, for instance at certain times throughout the story can keep the reader involved. But for the most part, once is enough.
I once read a romance where the two characters were getting hot and heavy – she leads him up to her bedroom, practically by the lips…. and the author stops to describe the room. I think I threw the book in the air. haha.
Thanks very much for your comment!
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April 4, 2014 at 2:12 pm
I like to know, what is inside the characters mind, how are they and how do they act. The details are important, but not all small details.
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April 4, 2014 at 7:41 pm
True, there’s a limit to what any reader can absorb before the novel gets boring. Thanks for your input, Irene. 🙂
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April 4, 2014 at 2:06 pm
I’m with you. I hate it when all that jumps off the page is “Look, see how much research I did?” or when it is clear the author is following a formula – she has a template: describe the outfit, name the designer brand, and don’t forget to accessorize.
As to your dilemma. Like navigator1965 says, you will want to keep true to your voice/style.
Afraid this doesn’t help much, does it? But maybe I can cut back your word count by one word. Perhaps, instead of “It was hot and smelly in the kitchen.” use “The steamy kitchen reeked of wet cat.” and forget the second sentence.
Maybe?
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April 4, 2014 at 7:35 pm
Ha! You’re absolutely right about the second sentence. Must eliminate that which isn’t necessary. 🙂
I think I have a fairly strong voice when it comes to writing,but as I said in an earlier post and didn’t repeat here – for the sake of word count I’ve been slowly but surely deleting my voice from my novel. I think it’s time to put it back in.
Reading something that’s supposed to be fiction but turns out reading like an owners manual is the worst, isn’t it? 😉
Thanks very much for your comment, Maggie. 😀
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April 4, 2014 at 2:04 pm
I want to know the details about what a character looks like or what he or she is wearing only if it’s germane to story and if it’s one of the story’s main characters. It’s nice to have at least some physical descriptions of the characters. Tall, short, old, young, thin, fat, bald, redhead, glasses, walks with a limp, whatever. Or perhaps even to know if the character’s typical attire is always very casual or the person dresses formally most of the time. These can help the reader gain insights into the characters and aid in forming a visualization inside the reader’s head.
But if the character’s physical appearance is not pertinent or doesn’t further the narrative, or if it’s a relatively minor character in the scheme of things, I think it’s best to limit descriptive details.
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April 4, 2014 at 7:32 pm
Agreed: a description of some sort has to exist, I think no matter who the character is – even if they’ve only one line. But as you say, it’s all relative to their existence in the story.
Thanks for this, Doobster. 🙂
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April 4, 2014 at 1:46 pm
While their may be principles or rules of thumb, I see this as a personal style issue. It’s part of finding your own voice as an author. You can be minimalist and let the reader’s mind soar as she or he fills in the details through imagination, you can weave a rich tapestry of linguistic description that still invites a reader’s mind to interpret it or imagine it, or you can write anywhere between these reasonable end points.
Perhaps a guide is what feels natural to you as a story teller, guided by the responses of test readers or editors. Also, bear in mind that I have no formal education or expertise in this area.
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April 4, 2014 at 7:26 pm
I think there has to be a balance, when writing a novel as opposed to a short story. My Boy Series, for example, was very minimalist in that I used a lot of big words in a small space. I think if I was to try to extend that to a 50,000 word novel, the readers would drop like proverbial flies.
To me, a novel is all about the atmosphere. If I can create that and still let it flow, I’ll be happy.
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April 4, 2014 at 1:37 pm
I, too, am a fan of Stephen King and like the way in which he leaves a lot of the personal description about characters to the imagination of the readers, and places the focus of the detail instead on the environment. I don’t like every detail described – for me it destroys the flow and inhibits the read, and in my opinion, a few cunning and well-written phrases like yours regarding the wet cat, ones that create a particularly vivid image in the mind of the reader, are what’s needed.
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April 4, 2014 at 7:20 pm
Stephen King is a master of description. He makes it look so easy! I agree – it’s the little details that make the story. Thanks very much for the comment, Lydia. 🙂
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