Life in progress

X is for … XXX – How Far Do You Go?

56 Comments

Writing sex scenes, for some authors, can be most intimidating. I’ve seen this mentioned time and again when reading other people’s blogs. Whether you enjoy reading about hot sex or not has little bearing; for one thing, you probably don’t know the intimate details of the novelists life, and so you can pretend or not that they did or didn’t actually experience what you’re reading. When you’re the one writing it, however, I suppose it depends how self-conscious you are.

Take the scenario where you’re sitting down to watch a movie with your parents and a graphic sex scene comes on the screen that you weren’t expecting. Awkward, right? If so, you probably don’t want your parents reading your steamy novel. My own mother used to get up and leave the room when I tampon commercial came on tv. I don’t think she’ll be down for reading my novel.

The question is, do you tone down your writing for fear of family and pointing fingers saying, or even thinking, I know what you’ve been doing, or do you just ignore it and omit from every conversation with your family that you’re a published author?

Where do you draw the line? What do you do?

Only three more installments to go in my fiction A-Z! Read today’s here: http://lindaghillfiction.wordpress.com/2014/04/28/x-is-for-x-marks-the-spot/

Any ideas for a title for my A-Z story? Please let me know!

Unknown's avatar

Author: Linda G. Hill

There's a writer in here, clawing her way out.

56 thoughts on “X is for … XXX – How Far Do You Go?

  1. idiotwriter's avatar

    Oh I am so glad you asked this question….now please can you answer it for me? It is sometimes not even the sex thing is it? Just concepts can get folk hot under the collar! Especially if it is a ‘based on truth novel’ and the truth is – well – revealing or incriminating. Puts a spanner in my creative and writing spokes EVERYTIME!! Gosh darn it!

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  2. Carrie's avatar

    In my first book, I found myself taming things down, worried what people who knew me would think. I tried not to do that in my second. Then again, I tend to shy away from sex scenes, so I’m mostly talking about language and violence.

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  3. LAMarcom's avatar

    I don’t think this topic would draw much virtual ink in Europe; They (Europeans) would just go “huh?”
    But, here in (I am making an assumption about most who are commenting here) America…
    Nation founded by Puritans… ’tis a curse we still live with. If we were talking raging violence, well. Not much discussion.
    Or, am I completely off-track?

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  4. foolsquest's avatar

    The biggest question I’ve run into when I think about writing sex scenes is “Can I approach this with the same amount of maturity as the rest of my story?” I’ve read great pieces of fiction that suddenly have a steamy sex scene that, while provocative, seems like a nipple slip at the Oscars.

    If I were to do it, I would probably be more comfortable drawing inspiration from Christopher Moore’s Fool and make it bawdy, naughty, and other words that don’t rhyme. Less erotic and more satire.

    As for family and friends, that wouldn’t be as much of an issue. I would probably give them a heads up about potential adult material. Or not, depending on who it was…

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    • Linda G. Hill's avatar

      It’s true! So many times I’ve been seriously enjoying a book and then it gets to the sex scene and suddenly it’s like reading something a teenager wrote – sloppy, with lots of giggling. (That’s me who’s giggling because – ugh. Grow up.)

      Excellent idea to tell family and friends what to expect ahead of time. Then they can decide for themselves whether or not to read it. 🙂

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  5. hannaplummer's avatar

    Good post. And I agree with everyone, write what you feel….just write it under a different name. 🙂

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  6. KimberlyannKitsuragi's avatar

    I ignore what people say. I do write and read about it. What my family says has no consequence. The way I see it, they aren’t me. They don’t get to make the decision on what I read or write about

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  7. naptimethoughts's avatar

    You can’t tone down your writing for a few people that may or may not read that graphic scene anyhow. Go for it, sister.

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  8. Cassie Holmes's avatar

    I would just go for it! If I felt weird about my parents reading it I would immediately take it to them and watch their faces while they read it. I think facing your fears is the best way to go. 🙂

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  9. joey's avatar

    I write what happens, if it includes sex, then I give just as much detail to that as I do to any other important scene. The hope is that people are so interested and engrossed in the book, they don’t stop to ask, “Hey, I wonder if this is how Joey has sex, or how Joey likes sex, or if Joey wears these kinds of panties, ya know? My own parents are not prudes and probably wouldn’t pay it any mind, but my MIL…well…

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  10. suzjones's avatar

    Your mother would cringe at one of the tampon commercials on tv right now. Although most feedback is that women think it’s funny. Actually I think it has it’s funny parts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWkkkxiW9XQ I still laugh at the woman on the bus.

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  11. Paul Davis's avatar

    I wrote an immensely detailed sex scene. It spanned three thousand words? There about. I put it under a pen name on a site that no one will think I’ve written for. I actually violated the ToS (on a porn site, wtf?) and they took it down (or so I assume since I can’t find it anymore). I’m not telling you how.

    There can be sex in novels, though I mostly just want the novel. There cannot be a novel in my sex, that’s not why I’m reading it.

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  12. susan's avatar

    so far family and real life friends have not read any of my steamy sex scenes. But it’s a valid question

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  13. Pamela Beckford's avatar

    I hardly write sex scenes, but some of my poems are pretty suggestive and I know I sure don’t want my dad to read them. But that shouldn’t be a problem since my family has no idea I even write poetry 😉

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