I’ve heard the word “verity” before but it’s not one I was familiar with. But what a wonderful word it is! According to my thesaurus it’s a noun, synonymous with actuality, authenticity, truth, and truthfulness, among a few others. Here’s the link to the dictionary definition: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/verity
Verity, as it turns out, is a huge factor in my life. I strive to live as authentically as I can. I’m not one who has ever seen the point in telling untruths – they serve no one from what I can see. Another of the synonyms is “validity.” How can one verify the validity of an untruth? Okay sure, the occasional white lie so as not to hurt someone is an exception, but things like telling people that I’ve done something in the past that I actually haven’t done; sure I’ve been bungee jumping! I’ve even jumped out of a plane! No. Just no. I have had enough adventures and experiences without making any up. (Just to clarify, I have never, nor will I ever jump off anything high enough to warrant safety equipment. Eighteen inches is plenty, thanks. And even then, I’m afraid of straining an ankle.)
Not that I’m judging people who do create their own adventures in their minds. I’m sure they have their reasons; I understand the desire to impress someone I’m meeting for the first time. I suppose for me part of it is the fear of being caught out in a lie. That’s an awful feeling, isn’t it? I remember, vaguely, the first and only time I lied to someone to impress them. I was a child at the time, maybe around eight years of age. I felt guilty immediately and vowed never to do it again.
There are many ways to live with verity apart from being truthful to others. Being true to one’s own nature is another. I found that having a friend–a manipulative, narcissistic friend–who once upon a time convinced me to do things and act in ways that were against my true nature was one of the darkest times in my life. I began to not trust myself–my own feelings and my authentic actions–and I did things that simply weren’t me. Thank goodness I’m away from such an influence now.
In the story that is our lives, verity is a great thing to have and to hold on to, not just for ourselves but for the people around us and especially our children. How do you strive for verity in your life?
This post is loosely related to the SoCS prompt, found here: https://lindaghill.com/2015/04/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-2515/ Click on the link and join in today!
April 25, 2015 at 11:47 pm
The only way to live I think to have peace of mind. I was faced recently with an office investigation that could hurt a coleague a lot; I believe in team work and solidarity as much as possible. So rather than point any fingers or saying I did not know (that would have been a lie) I simply said I did not feel comfortable responding. I feel guilty if I lie but some truths can hurt people…
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April 27, 2015 at 2:03 pm
There are certainly a lot of grey areas, aren’t there? I’d probably have done the same. 🙂
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April 25, 2015 at 5:13 pm
Verity was the motto at my High School, so the word was drummed in as truth in the search of God. My aims are simpler now, I just try to be honest with myself, and that’s had enough, but I’m getting there 🙂
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April 25, 2015 at 6:38 pm
It can be difficult sometimes, can’t it? I struggle mostly with being honest with myself about my limits. It’s hard not to do everything!
Thanks for your comment, Luccia. 🙂
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April 25, 2015 at 11:21 am
I’m raising my orange juice to you and your authenticity this morning 🙂
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April 25, 2015 at 6:36 pm
Cheers! 😀
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April 25, 2015 at 11:09 am
I don’t like lying… Truth is generally the best option in most cases – especially when we are dealing with family and friends. However, with some people I find using white lies just to avoid unnecessary complications. At times, I do feel uneasy but then I feel… hey! It is not like they care what I say anyway. Sad… but that is the easy way out I take at times.
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April 25, 2015 at 6:34 pm
I actually think it’s worse to fill your life with unnecessary complications. People tend to be dramatic over some things, and it’s so easy to get dragged into it. My philosophy is, weigh the true importance, find the best possible way out, and if that includes telling a half truth, so be it.
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April 25, 2015 at 10:53 am
The truth is important to me. Before I got married, I believed that everyone told the truth. What an awakening I had! Social white lies to avoid hurting someone’s feelings are okay with me, although I will tell the truth of it if I know the person really wants it. “Verity” was a name chosen by people for their daughters many, many, many years ago. In some countries, “Viera” is a close one to that. Lovely post. Thank you.
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April 25, 2015 at 6:29 pm
Thank you, Patricia. 🙂 It certainly is an eye-opener, coming across someone who isn’t always truthful, not to mention the habitual liars out there. Still, it’s important I think to take people at their word until they prove we can’t.
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April 25, 2015 at 7:24 pm
Yes, that’s what I do.
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April 25, 2015 at 10:32 am
Being honest with your children is the most important thing, especially about who you are.
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April 25, 2015 at 4:16 pm
I agree. 🙂
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April 25, 2015 at 10:28 am
I have a hard time even telling a white lie – I feel guilty. Although I have become adept at getting around questions by either answering a different question or asking another question. Like:”Do I look fat in these jeans.” “You are beautiful no matter what you wear.”
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April 25, 2015 at 4:16 pm
Oooh, slick! You’d be a real catch, Paul. 🙂
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