Life in progress


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#JusJoJan 31/20 – Chaos

Parenting. Yep, I’m back to talking about that. Alex had a day off school today, and he was all set to go out with his respite worker for a fun day of bowling and the library. He’d been looking forward to it all week.

So what happened when it was time to get dressed to go?

The same thing that happens every time.

He didn’t want to go. I asked Alex a dozen times, and no. He wanted to stay home.

I knew it was a temporary decision. I knew he really wanted to go. But I’ve had enough of fighting to get him out the door every time he actually wants to go.

So I texted the respite worker and told her not to come.

And what happened as soon as I texted the respite worker?

He wanted to go.

So I put my foot down and said no. He’d made his decision. He no longer had a choice.

I’ve done this before, but I’ve let it slide since. It’s time to put an end to it.

The chaos of Alex’s decision making is driving me nuts. It prevents me from being able to work when he’s home, and if I need to go anywhere–really need to go, like I had to today to get groceries–I can’t go. I’m stuck at home with a 19-year-old who’s acting like a baby for no reason except that he enjoys pushing my buttons.

My buttons will no longer be pushed.

Because if I don’t do anything about this now, then when he finishes school for good in a year and a half, I’m going to end up being nothing but a babysitter for my adult son for the rest of my life. And the fact is, I need to work. I can’t keep us in the manner to which we’ve grown accustomed without it.

So this is less a matter of whining and more a public statement that I’ll change my ways. And Alex’s.

Wish us luck.

 

This proclamatory post is brought to you by Just Jot it January! Click the following link and join in! It’s the last day! https://lindaghill.com/2020/01/31/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-31st-2020/


Love quickens beneath the moonlight …

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#SoCS – Dreaming Through

It’s been a tiring year, 2019 has. Aside from the fact that I had so many great plans that got knocked to the ground, partially because I’ve been tired, I’ve slept in a lot this year. More than any other year, I think.

I used to be able to wake up to the music on my phone. It was a nice way to wake up. To a song I liked. But then, because I was tired, I started not only sleeping through my alarm, I’d dream that I was at a concert, watching the song played live.

That wouldn’t do–I had to keep driving Alex to school because I wasn’t getting up in time to feed him (before 5am) so he could catch the bus. So I added an alarm. One with a tune I didn’t like. One that came with the phone.

For a while that worked, until my tired brain figured out how to turn off the alarm I didn’t like and leave the song on.

Fine.

I added an even more obnoxious tune. That got me up.

But then I figured, okay, I can sleep while Alex is feeding (he’s tube-fed), and just set another alarm to get me up when his feed’s finished so I can get him off to school.

Except guess what I did?

Yep, I chose another song.

And started dreaming through it.

FINE, then.

I switched that for another obnoxious noise to get me out of bed before the bus comes.

Which worked …

For a while.

Last week I slept through that a total of THREE mornings. Out of FOUR! Monday was a holiday!

I think I just need for it to be 2020 already.

Surely I won’t be as tired.

Right?

2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley! https://www.quaintrevival.com/

This dreamy post was brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other dreamy posts in the comments, and see how you, too, can join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/11/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-16-19/


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#SoCS – Dressed

I got dressed today! That’s a big deal some days since I don’t have to go out to work. Today I took Alex to see Maleficent 2. We both enjoyed it a lot! Alex was literally sitting on the edge of his seat through the battle scenes, and at times I closed my eyes because the cinematography made me feel sick, but it was well worth it. And the costumes! If they don’t win an Oscar, I’ll be surprised.

Speaking of costumes, Halloween. I’m going to let Alex go out trick or treating one last time this year, and that’s it. He’s nineteen years old. And although he’s still very much a kid, I’m tired of the whole thing. I’ve been dressing kids up for the last twenty-five years. Or at least this will be the 25th. Costumes are so expensive! At least when you don’t have any talent for making them.

There’s a Halloween thing going on tomorrow at the local mall–it’s iffy whether we’ll go. Alex is terrified of people in masks (which creates another issue for trick or treating that I’m getting tired of). We’ve already missed one Halloween party this year because of that particular fear of his. He wouldn’t even go to school if they were allowed to wear masks on Thursday. I’d hoped he’d get over it as he got older, but no.

The push and pull is real. Much like the push and pull of trying to get last year’s costume on. Ha ha.

2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley! https://www.quaintrevival.com/

This post (and our lovely new badge!) is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link and see how you can join in! https://lindaghill.com/2019/10/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-26-19/


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#SoCS – Oh, really?

Oh yes. I’m really sorry about the mess I made of the SoCS badge contest by not realizing the comments were turned off. I haven’t had a chance to look at any of the entries, but there are sure to be some amazing ones there. Because of the screw up, I might end up accepting more than ten … I’ll see tomorrow. I hope.

Because if tomorrow is anything like today, I’ll have my hands completely full with Alex. What a horror story that was. He’ll be nineteen years old on Wednesday, and at this point, I’m starting to doubt the behavior issues will ever stop.

The good news is the swelling in my neck seems to have subsided a bit.

Oh. You know what else? I’m getting really sick of complaining all the time. So, you want some good news?

I managed to get out tonight to see the Downton Abbey movie and it was amazing. I think the thing I really enjoyed the most was just revisiting the characters. It could have gone on for four hours and I wouldn’t have complained a bit.

And now it’s quarter to two in the morning and I think it’s time for bed. I really have to put an end to these late nights. Half the time, I look at the clock and realize how much the time has gotten past me.

As Homer Simpson would say …

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This unfinished post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to see all the other posts in the comment section and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/10/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-19-19/


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#SoCS – Grounded

My prompt has me thinking about all the ways my kids keep me grounded.

When my mind takes off on flights of fancy, into fictional realms,

my kids bring me back.

When I think perhaps I’m meant to be rich–maybe even famous,

my kids cost me money and remind me I’m just Mom.

When I want to go out …

I realize I’m actually grounded, unable to leave the house.

Now if only they’d send me to my room.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This short and sweet post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link and find out how to join in. It’s fun!  https://lindaghill.com/2019/10/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-12-19/


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#SoCS – When the Universe Cooperates

Ain’t it great when everything goes as planned?

When everything in the universe seems to cooperate, to get you what you want?

I managed to get out for the evening tonight with my best friend, John. We went to a bar down at the waterfront and listened to live music.

This was our view. Yes, it’s just the moon shining on the water. The picture sucks, but the moon was spectacular.

 

It’s been a long time since we hung out, outside of one of our houses, without being surrounded by kids. I’d forgotten what it’s like to be an adult. I think we caregivers need that sort of break once in a while.

Time to remember we’re us, that we’re individuals in our own right and not just someone else’s support.

Because it’s easy to get lost in that. The things we define ourselves as are what we become.

Mother, daughter, writer, editor, housekeeper, chauffeur, administrator, business owner …

I’m rarely not wearing a hat. And in that moment of wearing that hat, it’s all I am.

When was the last time you were not what you do?

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This introspective post was brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other posts in the comment section and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/08/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-17-19/


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#SoCS – The So-Called Simple Stuff

When I came up with this prompt–“instructions”–I was thinking about blowing my nose. It’s something I’ve known how to do for a very long time, but it’s one of the most difficult things to teach a kid.

Then I got to thinking about what we teach our kids when they’re young. Coming up with instructions for things we do without thinking takes a lot of thought, doesn’t it?

And even worse, asking them to do something without remembering that we have to teach them how first, and then feeling bad when we have to say, “No, no, no. That’s not how you do it.” Especially when the “it” involves something breakable.

Like the poor kid’s spirit. 😦

Personally, I love following instructions.

Knitting patterns are exciting!

Learning how to run a new program on the computer too, as long as the instructor doesn’t assume I know certain terms and things that are inherent in the basics, that I might have missed.

Kinda puts me right down there with the kid who just dropped a plate or something.

Okay, now I’m sad.

Here’s a picture I took of Winston tonight, to cheer us all up.

His itches aren’t completely gone, but he’s not scratching as much, which leads me to believe they were just leftover bites. Yay!

I do appreciate everyone’s suggestions, though. They gave me a brand new appreciation for the lengths people go to for their fur babies.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other awesome posts linked in the comment section, and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/07/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-13-19/