Life in progress


#SoCS – Still is the answer, what was the question?

I find it incredibly hard to sit still. Especially when I’m trying to write. If I’m not getting up to get something I’m playing a mindless game on the computer because my brain just can’t handle, most of the time, the intense thought processes it has to go through to get what’s on it, on the screen. I need time to fully picture what I’m going to write before I write it. Once I have that picture I can go – and sometimes, yes, I’ll look up from the screen and realize it’s gotten dark outside without my noticing. Or, “Oh, look at that. I missed dinner time. No wonder I’m hungry.” This is, of course, only when I’m alone. Which is the best time for me to get anything done anyway.

I have a hard time sitting still but I wish my weight reflected that. Normally when I think of someone who’s always on the go I think of a person who is as skinny as a rail. Not me. Which proves that there’s no such thing as a stereotype where busyness is concerned. Then again, usually when I write and I have to distract myself, I end up in the kitchen…

The word “still” bugs me sometimes. At my most stressful times I’m usually saying “I still have to do this,” or “I still have to do that.” There’s always something I still have to do. I never get to the end of the damned “to do” list. That could have something to do with why I’m not sure my manuscript will ever be finished. There’s always a point I want to change or something I want to fix. Perfection must be achieved! Which I know sucks, but I don’t want to be criticized for something I could have fixed but didn’t.

Maybe instead of making my own wine (at the wine store) I’ll eventually end up with my own still in the basement. It may be the cure for all my stress. And hey, I can just pass out down there. That’ll keep me still.

SoCS badge 2015This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click here to learn more! Come and join us. 🙂