Parenting. Yep, I’m back to talking about that. Alex had a day off school today, and he was all set to go out with his respite worker for a fun day of bowling and the library. He’d been looking forward to it all week.

So what happened when it was time to get dressed to go?

The same thing that happens every time.

He didn’t want to go. I asked Alex a dozen times, and no. He wanted to stay home.

I knew it was a temporary decision. I knew he really wanted to go. But I’ve had enough of fighting to get him out the door every time he actually wants to go.

So I texted the respite worker and told her not to come.

And what happened as soon as I texted the respite worker?

He wanted to go.

So I put my foot down and said no. He’d made his decision. He no longer had a choice.

I’ve done this before, but I’ve let it slide since. It’s time to put an end to it.

The chaos of Alex’s decision making is driving me nuts. It prevents me from being able to work when he’s home, and if I need to go anywhere–really need to go, like I had to today to get groceries–I can’t go. I’m stuck at home with a 19-year-old who’s acting like a baby for no reason except that he enjoys pushing my buttons.

My buttons will no longer be pushed.

Because if I don’t do anything about this now, then when he finishes school for good in a year and a half, I’m going to end up being nothing but a babysitter for my adult son for the rest of my life. And the fact is, I need to work. I can’t keep us in the manner to which we’ve grown accustomed without it.

So this is less a matter of whining and more a public statement that I’ll change my ways. And Alex’s.

Wish us luck.

 

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Love quickens beneath the moonlight …

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