Linda G. Hill

Life in progress


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#SoCS – The Measurement of Moo – #AtoZChallenge

The word my thesaurus gave me today is “measurement.” The following is pure stream of consciousness writing. Unedited.  Enjoy.

The measurement of moo can vary. It might be simply moo, it may be moooo–I think it depends on the cow.

Or perhaps it relies on how hungry is the cow.

A cow who is famished may have a lengthy moooo, whereas a contented cow might have a moo. Does this mean an overstuffed cow gives out a mo?

Mo, the cow, lived in a meadow where the grass was very green. She was a lonely cow–all of her cow friends had gone off to less green pastures. Which meant they were shipped off to farms where they only served hay. Mo knew this because one of them, as she was going by in the back of a truck on her way from one hay-ish farm to another, yelled out, “YO! Mo! Thar’s hay in them thar hills!”

Mo was not a contented cow. She longed for a bull to call her own. She was fat from all the green, green grass she consumed on a daily basis, and she was very blue. Which was why she didn’t go with the other cows. No one wanted a blue cow named Mo.

The years passed, and Mo got fatter and fatter. Her only visitor was Flo, the lady farmer who looked after the farm. Every day Flo came to pat Mo on the head, and Mo would say “Mo,” and Flo would answer back, “Ho! Did you say ‘mo’? You’re supposed to say ‘moo,’ ya stupid blue cow!” and yes, Flo said this every day because she had no memory from one day to the next.

But then, one day, a bull showed up at the fence. It was a runaway bull from across the way, and he happened to be green.

“Mo,” said Mo when she saw him. She carefully approached the fence. She’d never seen a green bull before.

“Mooooo,” said the bull.

“Are you hungry?” asked Mo.

“I am,” replied the bull. “I’ve been walking up and down this road for days. My farmer doesn’t know I’m missing.”

“Oh dear,” said Mo. “Why don’t you hop over the fence and have some of my grass?”

So the bull did, and months later, they had a little brown calf whose name was Moo. And they all lived happily ever after. Except for Flo, who couldn’t figure out where the green bull came from and why all her cows were so stupid.

The End.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday is fun! Click the link and join in today. https://lindaghill.com/2017/04/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-apr-1517/


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Jumble – #AtoZChallenge

When life is chaotic, it’s good to know a cup of tea is as close as the kettle, even if my bed is hours away.

Yippieee! Today my thesaurus has given me a word to play with that’s both a noun and a verb! That means I can jumble my jumble, or confuse my gallimaufry (which makes sense, because I have no idea what a gallimaufry is). I can muddle my mishmash, scramble my potpourri… I can even tangle my rat’s nest! Wait… my pillow does that every night. That’s what my comb is for.

But you know what? I’m too tired to mix up my miscellany tonight. My house is a hodgepodge, a farrago (another one I have to look up), a mess. It’s disarranged. Yeah, let’s go with that one. And my mind is all higgledy-piggledy, so I think I’ll just tumble off to bed and start all over again tomorrow.

Goodnight, all!

***

For more humorous reading, please check out my A to Z Challenge-inspired novelette “All Good Stories.” It’s a romantic comedy about two best friends who belong together – Xavier knows it, but Jupiter has her eye on another guy: a shady character named Bob.

“A short funny tale of two friends” ~ Ritu, 4 stars, Amazon UK review

“Quirky and charming.” ~ Bobby Underwood, #11 top reviewers on Goodreads – 5 stars

Click the picture to find it on Kindle, or get it on Kobo here: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/all-good-stories


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One-Liner Wednesday – Colour My World

Almost finished April, and with time to admire it before May.

My colouring calendar.

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


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Fen – #AtoZChallenge

I refuse to be bogged down by semantics.

I opened my thesaurus to find my random word of the day, and lo and behold, I’ve learned something new! A “fen” is, apparently, a “bog, marsh, morass, muskeg quagmire, slough, swamp.” And I can’t for the life of me figure out why I would want to call any of those things a “fen.” Or at least I couldn’t, until I looked up the definition. According to Google, a fen is not only characterized as marshy land that’s frequently flooded and has an “alkaline, neutral, or only slightly acid peaty soil,” but it’s also a particular area, described as, “flat low-lying areas of eastern England, formerly marshland but largely drained for agriculture since the 17th century,” known as the Fens.

Giggidy, as Quagmire would say.

***

Wanna read a fen-tastic book? Check out my A to Z Challenge-inspired novelette “All Good Stories.” It’s a romantic comedy about two best friends who belong together – Xavier knows it, but Jupiter has her eye on another guy: a shady character named Bob.

“A short funny tale of two friends” ~ Ritu, 4 stars, Amazon UK review

“Quirky and charming.” ~ Bobby Underwood, #11 top reviewers on Goodreads – 5 stars

Click the picture to find it on Kindle, or get it on Kobo here: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/all-good-stories


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Emissary – #AtoZChallenge

My mission today is to stay away from politics.

My thesaurus was bound to give me at least one difficult word to deal with. The definition of “emissary,” according to Google, is “a person sent on a special mission, usually as a diplomatic representative.” This screams of politics of course, and I really don’t want to talk about politics.

Let’s see what I can pull out of the synonyms to talk about instead: “agent,” “messenger,” oooh “spy,” and  what’s this? “Plenipotentiary” – what’s one of those? Damn. “A person, especially a diplomat, invested with the full power of independent action on behalf of their government, typically in a foreign country.” Okay, so all those are out.

You know what I want an emissary to be? Me. I want to go on a mission to guide you, as a narrator, through my stories. I want to be the messenger for my characters. I want to be their representative. And in a way, that’s what an author is. The agent who relates the tale. The spy who knows all the players’ deepest, darkest secrets.

So there you have it. I hereby rename authors as emissaries. This is my plenipotentiary decree!

Yeah, I’m full of shit.

***

Allow me to take you on a guided tour through the lives of my characters. It doesn’t cost much – only 99¢! Check out my A to Z Challenge-inspired novelette “All Good Stories.” It’s a romantic comedy about two best friends who belong together – Xavier knows it, but Jupiter has her eye on another guy: a shady character named Bob.

“A short funny tale of two friends” ~ Ritu, 4 stars, Amazon UK review

“Quirky and charming.” ~ Bobby Underwood, #11 top reviewers on Goodreads – 5 stars

Click the picture to find it on Kindle, or get it on Kobo here: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/all-good-stories

 


54 Comments

The Brand New Crazy Way to A to Z and Theme Reveal!

Incredibly, we’ve somehow made it all the way (almost) to the end of March already, which means the A-Z April Challenge is mere hours away. And if that’s not mind-blowing enough, they’ve changed the way they’re getting everyone together this year! Yes, gone is the Linky list (because who needed 2,000 participants easily found in one place) and now, to confuse us all, they’ve decided to go all SoCS style on our asses. Which would be wonderful if only the A-Z Challenge was on a WordPress account… but it’s on Blogger!

So every day we’re to go to their daily post and drop our link in the comments, and look around for other blogs to visit. It’s gonna be a free-for-all! Yay!

Ahem. Where was I?

Oh yes. I’ve decided to participate again this year because self-flagellation extra work is good for me. That, and I miss writing. Seriously, I do. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m at such a loss in the creation department that I’ve started colouring. Colouring!! (Colouring is fun! 😀 But it ain’t working my author muscles.) So I’m doing it. Come rain or shine, flood or drought, high water or hell, I’m going to write a post every day this month except Sundays if it kills me. Because you know what? It’s not even just the writing I miss. I miss you guys!

Are you ready then to find out what my theme is going to be? Are you? Are you sure?

You’re going to have to look at the banner first:

Clicking the banner will take you to the AtoZ Challenge Theme Reveal page

Okay, that took me ten minutes. Is the drum roll almost finished?

My A to Z Theme for 2017 will be…

RANDOM AGAIN!

I had so much fun with my thesaurus a couple of years ago that I’ve chosen to do it again. This year, when I open my thesaurus to a page with the letter of the day, I’ll write a post based on the word listed second from the bottom, on the right-hand page, in the left-hand column. No exceptions. For those of you who are also playing along, I’ll choose a word to match the letter of the day that the Stream of Consciousness Saturdays of the month fall on. They are:

April 1 – A
April 8 – G
April 15 – M
April 22 – S
April 29 – Y

That’s that then! If you’re joining in on the torture fun this year, let me know in the comments and I’ll make sure to visit you.

Let’s do this thing!!

 


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#SoCS – Marching

I hate being sick. Sure, it’s not as bad as it is just before Christmas when you’ve got so much running around to do, but it’s bad enough even now. I’m having a hard time thinking. I have no energy. It’s like my sinuses are pushing on both my logic/how to do stuff part of my brain and my get-up-and-go part. Who knew I had an off switch? I hope my sinuses remember to turn it back on when I’m better.

Meanwhile I march myself through life, running on sheer responsibility. And even that’s running thin at the moment. Yet somehow I got a couple of bits of good news today.

I won a contest for a new book that came out; “Like Clockwork” by Ali Abbas. Here it is here: https://www.amazon.com/Like-Clockwork-Ali-Abbas/dp/0998498327/

The contest gave me a pdf copy of another of the author’s books, a $10 gift certificate from Amazon, and a gorgeous pocket watch. I’ll take a picture when I get it and post it. The book looks really good too.

On top of that, I signed my first contract to edit a novel. My first real job in over fifteen years (if you don’t count the paper route).  Whoopie!! …okay, that wore me out.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better, eh? Marching off to bed.

This worn out post was brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find the rules and join in! https://lindaghill.com/2017/03/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-mar-2517/