Life in progress


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363. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, August 29th, 9:00pm
Bella (and Alice) (and Lily)

 

Bella sits at the window. Alice takes the seat beside her.

Alice: Hey.

Bella: Hey. So what did you find out?

Alice: Turns out they transferred Edward out of prison and into some sort of mental facility. He ran away from there while security had their backs turned.

Bella: I knew he didn’t turn to smoke! What a liar.

Alice: But there’s that thing with the house. I still can’t explain that.

Lily: (pops up from behind the seat, making Bella and Alice jump) I can.

Bella: (to Alice) You’d think we’d get used to that.

Alice: (to Lily) We don’t want your explanation.

Lily: Oh, but you should. You see, Edward was never really a vampire.

Bella: Well, duh!

Lily: But I am. And I can do all sorts of things.

Alice: Can you disappear?

Lily: I can. In fact I’m going to. I’m going to join Edward in Transylvania and give him what he’s always wanted.

Bella: A life?

Lily: Eternal life. And then I’m sure he’ll be back for you. (breathing into the back of Bella’s neck) I wouldn’t stop looking over your shoulder, Bella.

Lily disappears in a puff of air.

Alice: Wait! Where’d she go this time?

Bella: (squeezes past Alice and stands in the aisle facing the seat behind them) Mosquito! (slaps the seat and kills the mosquito on the seat) Sucker!

Alice: One down! (high-fives Bella)

 

Next stop: Thursday, August 30th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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359. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, August 25th, 7:00pm
Andrea (and Lacey)

 

Andrea sits at the window. Lacey takes the seat beside her.

Andrea: Hey there!

Lacey: What’s new?

Andrea: I got a new job! At a dungeon. I’m going to take out all my wildest fantasies on, like, a bunch of strangers.

Lacey: Take out?

Andrea: Well, you know. Anger issues and all that. But things have, like, never been better with the love life. Darkie doesn’t talk much, and you know how I love to hold a conversation, but it doesn’t, like, seem all that bad. He’s a good listener.

Lacey: Uh huh. Well, congrat–

Andrea: And you know Eddie’s left town. Good riddance. I was, like, so over him anyways. So now it’s just me and my Darkness.

Lacey: I’m happy for you.

Andrea:  Thanks! So what’s going on with you?

Lacey: Oh, you know. I–

Andrea: I so do. Isn’t life great? Just, like, really great?

Lacey: Uh huh.

 

Next stop: Sunday, August 26th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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357. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, August 23rd, 5:00pm
Sandi (and Candice)

 

Sandi sits at the window. Candice takes the seat beside her.

Sandi: Hey there!

Candice: Hi!

Sandi: I heard about your big news! Congratulations!

Candice: Yep. Getting married, going back to school. It’s like I’m growing up.

Sandi: I won’t be with Madame very much longer either.

Candice: Oh no?

Sandi: (smiles) Jeff and I are having a baby.

Candice: Oh my God! (hugs her) That’s wonderful!

Sandi: Yeah. Can’t exactly whip guys when I’ve got a baby bulge. And anyway, Jeff’s looking for a job out of province, so we’ll be moving soon. I hope.

Candice: Is the church going to take him back?

Sandi: I think so.

Candice: I hope you’re not leaving too soon. I was hoping you’d be my maid of honour.

Sandi: I’d love that! Who’s Justin’s best man going to be?

Candice: (shrugs) A friend of his from Calgary. Jimmy. Haven’t met him yet.

Sandi: I wonder what Madame’s going to do without us.

Candice: She’s been interviewing people. I think she’s going to go with someone named Andrea. Apparently, she’s got more energy than the two of us put together.

 

Next stop: Friday, August 24th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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356. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, August 22nd, 5:00pm
Jack and Chip

 

Chip: How’s your new roommate working out? What’s her name again?

Jack: Jill. She’s really weird.

Chip: How so?

Jack: Every night she fills up a bucket of water in the bathtub and takes it to bed with her.

Chip: Really?

Jack: Yeah. I wouldn’t mind but she sleeps in the basement. She keeps slopping water all over the stairs.

Chip: Maybe you should carry it down for her.

Jack: Pfft. You know me. I’d probably fall down the stairs and break my neck.

Chip: Good point.

 

Next stop: Thursday, August 23rd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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350. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language.

Thursday, August 16th, 9:00pm
Bella (and Alice) (and Edward)

 

Bella sits at the window looking worried. Alice takes the seat beside her.

Alice: What’s up?

Bella: The cops went over to pick up Lily.

Alice: ‘Bout time.

Bella: But there wasn’t a house there.

Alice: What do you mean there wasn’t a house there? You had the address written down and everything.

Bella: I know. Apparently, that’s why they didn’t pick her up in the first place. It was a vacant lot. Just a hole in the ground.

Alice: So what, you wrote the address down wrong when Edward let you go?

Bella: No. I went over there myself. The house was there just like I remembered. So I called the cops and went to a coffee shop to wait. When I went back again it was just like they said. A vacant lot.

Alice: That’s spooky.

Bella: And worst of all? Edward escaped.

Alice: Holy shit.

Bella: I know.

Alice: So what are we going to do?

Bella: I don’t want to run away …

Alice: … but there might not be any choice.

Edward: (pops up from the seat behind, making them both jump) It’s okay. I’m going to leave you alone.

Alice: You’re doing a good job already.

Bella: Stay away from me.

Edward: That’s what I just said. I’m going away. For real this time.

Bella: Promise?

Edward: Yes. But I promise you this too. I’ll see you again. When you least expect it.

Bella: That’s reassuring. How about never?

Edward: That’s not possible, Bella. We’re meant to be together. (smiles, showing fake fangs) Good bye for now, my love.

Edward sits at the back of the bus until it stops. He gets off.

Alice: What’ll you do when he comes back?

Bella: (opens purse to reveal a wooden stake, bulbs of garlic, and a cross) I got it covered.

 

Next stop: Friday, August 17th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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349. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, August 15th, 6:00 5:09pm
Hillary (and Drommen)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.

Hillary: Hey.

Drommen: Let’s go on a date.

Hillary: (sits up straight) A real one?

Drommen: Yeah. A real one.

Hillary: (narrows eyes) Are you going to give up … you know.

Drommen: Yep. No more asking people if they want to watch me masturbate on the bus.

Hillary: You’re not going to hate me for making you give it up?

Drommen: No, I’ve made a decision regardless.

Hillary kisses him on the cheek.

Drommen: (smiles) Where do you want to go on our first date?

Hillary: Your place.

 

Next stop: Thursday, August 16th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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346. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, August 12th, 1:00pm
Winston and Freda

 

Winston: You know, I could very well be the most beautiful man on earth.

Freda: To somebody, maybe.

Winston: What’s that supposed to mean?

Freda: Your nose is on crooked, you have one eyebrow that constantly looks surprised, and there’s cake in your chin dimple.

Winston: I can pick the cake out.

Freda stares at him.

Winston: I was saving it for later.

 

Next stop: Monday, August 13th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.