I admit it: sometimes when I want something I’ll play stupid to get it.

Take for instance the laptop battery that I’ve been waiting for since May from Best Buy. They screwed up once and in return promised me a free battery, but it’s taking forever to arrive. I’ve called them countless times on the matter but it never seems to go anywhere. There comes a point when I just get tired of explaining myself to everyone I talk to. Eventually my answer becomes, “I don’t know.”

When did we first order the part? the Geek Squad guy asks.

I don’t know.

I’ll look it up.

This, from my perspective is a good thing because a) it forces them to admit they’ve screwed up somewhere and b) it means they’re actually looking at the problem rather than just listening to me complain while they gaze around the store at the pretty girls looking at iPads and/or pick their noses.

Then there’s my newspaper, which was cut off today because I got a new credit card and didn’t call them to give them an updated expiry date.  So I call them to ask why my paper didn’t come.

It looks like all we need is your payment information. Did you not get a notice in the mail?

I didn’t see one. (I’m of course lying.)

Oh, well I’ll update that for you today and  get a paper out to you right away. I’m not sure why your carrier didn’t mention it to you.

I don’t see my carrier. (Again, blatant lie. I AM my own carrier. I don’t, however, have a lot of mirrors in my house…)

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Don’t let it happen again. (Okay, I didn’t really say that, but what fun it would have been!)

I’m not a liar when it comes to anything else, but I’m certainly not beyond acting like an idiot when it comes to dealing with company’s bureaucracies. There’s nothing more annoying than being brushed off when you pay good money for a service: you shouldn’t have to fight for it if you’re paying for it!

Am I alone in this practice? Tell me you’ve done something similar. Please.