Life in progress


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#SoCS – Foresight

I can’t really call it foresight, because I didn’t plan to have this happen again. But I did record everything I did to try to help myself last time I had vision problems, so YAY, I can check out my own blog to see if anything in particular worked.

Because it is happening again now. I don’t know if it’s stress, or blood sugar, or what it is, but my vision keeps going extremely blurry. I’m thinking it could have something to do with eating, because I just had a couple of forkfuls of pasta salad and I can see quite well–better than before I ate.

So I probably need to have a blood test. If I’m pre-diabetic, it’d be good to know.

I’ve had four days of this, and it majorly sucks.

In other news, after I decided on the prompt yesterday I was thinking about what I could write that I could use “fore” in. As I gazed out my front window, I looked at all the weeds on my lawn and thought, “My fore lawn looks forlorn.”

So that’s it! From now on, until I fix my front yard it will be referred to as my fore lawn. And the back yard? My hind lawn. Because it, too, is hinding in the weeds.

I’m here ’til Thursday. Try the veal.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This sadly funny post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find all the other awesome posts in the comments and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/06/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-29-19/


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#SoCS – Leave it alone

Why do we have such a hard time leaving some things alone?

In my case, a book. Used to be if I started one, I had to finish it, no matter how boring it was or how much I disliked it. I couldn’t stop until I’d read the painful last page. But the older I get and the more books I want to read, I’m getting better at it.

In Alex’s case (he’s my son), something that hurts. If he has a scab, he’s gotta pick it. No matter how much I tell him to stop (that actually makes him do it more), or try to explain to him that he’ll make it worse and possibly the body part will fall off, he can’t leave it alone. He’s covered in scars from tiny scratches that he turned into major wounds.

No, nothing has fallen off. Yet. And maybe the fact that I tell him it might and it never does is why he never believes me and, thus, never stops picking. Unfortunately, I can’t cut off any of his body parts while he’s asleep just to show him I’m right (he’ll wake up if I do and then the whole experiment will be ruined), so instead I’m stuck with a kid with scars. And I have to watch him make himself bleed, which might actually be more painful for me than it is for him … If it hurt him that much, he wouldn’t do it. Right?

I’m rambling.

I’m just going to leave this here.

Here are some leaves.

baby maple leaves

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday! Click the following link to find all the other posts linked in the comment section and join in yourself. It’s fun!

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/


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#SoCS – Social Responsibilities

I think social media might be ruining me.

Okay, I’ve never really enjoyed the idea of going out and being sociable, unless it was with close friends. And even then, the path of least resistance–staying home in my pjs–often felt more comfortable than going out. Usually, I’m okay once I get there. It’s the idea of going.

But now, I’m getting so used to typing my sociability rather than being forced to speak, I’m getting lazy. You know, with having to come up with the first thing out of my brain and being stuck with it. Because when I’m speaking, it’s out there. When I type it, unless I hit send by accident, I can reword it until it’s right.

But you know the one thing I’ve always hated? Waiting for my turn to introduce myself to a group. You listen to people say their name and their position/relation/whatever, and it’s getting closer and closer to your turn and you start rehearsing what you’re going to say in your head because you don’t want to screw it up, and by the time the guy beside you is finished, you sputter and spit out your reply so badly that you wish your shoes could swallow you or that the power could suddenly go out, giving you a chance to escape when nobody’s looking.

Or maybe it’s just me.

I suppose there’s the odd person who actually revels in the opportunity to speak, but nah, that ain’t me.

I’m a lot better at it, though, now, than I used to be. When I was a kid, I HATED speaking in public. Now I still hate it, but at least I don’t really care what people think of me when I do. I hate it now in lower case.

There’s a difference.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday! Click the following link to find all the other awesome posts listed in the comment section, and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/06/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-15-19/


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#SoCS – That Arrangement

The actual line, to put my post into context, is, “I wonder what Nina will think of that arrangement,” out of my own book, The Magician’s Blood. It was the closest book to me when I decided to write my SoCS post.

The line made me think about all the things we don’t have control of. Things that circumstances, or maybe even the universe, arranges for us. It’s scary to feel like we’re not in control of our lives, of our situation.

I find the control I have over the little things in life helps quell that fear. Even if it’s only an illusion, knowing that I can decide what to do with my time at least some of the time makes me feel like I’m in charge. What I do with that time isn’t always good or productive …

Is procrastination a lack of control? I suppose it is. It’s certainly a lack of discipline.

I need to take control of my procrastination.

Make it disappear.

Go away, procrastination! I’m sick of having no control over you!

There. We’ll see if that works.

(Note to self: read this post every day.)

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This self-chastising post is brought to you (and me) by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in. Do it now! https://lindaghill.com/2019/06/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-8-19/


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#SoCS – Silence

That silence you encounter when the power goes out

The kind that makes you realize all of a sudden that you’ve been listening to the fridge

To the light bulbs burning

To countless currents flowing through wires

And then it begins–

The tinnitus.

The silence is deafening.

I think my favourite sound in the world, other than the laughter of my children, is the wind blowing through leaves out in the country where the occurrence of traffic is rare.

Or the sound of snow falling on a breezeless night, again, out in the middle of nowhere. On horseback.

In one of those moments when you think to yourself I’ll never forget this, and sure enough, thirty years later you still haven’t forgotten. And you still believe you never will.

If I had to choose, I think I’d pick silence over noise, pretty much any day.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other awesome posts in the comment section, and join in the fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/05/31/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-1-19/


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#SoCS – Strainer Inherited

Oh hi!

It’s me again.

I’m starting to feel like the chaser. You know, the part that comes after the main bit. The P.S. at the end of the SoCS day.

Dessert.

Speaking of dessert, I’ve been stealing the two-bite brownies I bought for Mother’s Day. They have pink, blue, and white butter icing and sprinkles on top. They call them Unicorn two-bite brownies and they’re delicious. They go well with red wine …

Can I make a confession? Promise you won’t tell anyone?

I eat my two-bite brownies in three bites.

I’m such a rebel.

Oooh, I just had a sip of wine. The fumes went up into my sinuses. Does that mean it’s good?

Anyway, where was I?

My pasta strainer. The one I inherited. It has to be at least 45 years old–my mother had it forever. I bought one myself when I moved in by myself years ago, but I never really liked the new one. The holes were both too small and they weren’t close enough to the edges of the base of the bowl, so I’d end up with wet noodles every time I tried to drain them.

So when my mother moved in to the retirement home, instead of getting rid of the strainer with everything else, I kept it. It used to have three little legs on it, but they all fell off. But I still love it. It’s my Charlie Brown Christmas tree of strainers. It’s sad, but it has a lot of heart. And it works, which is probably the most important thing.

Know what else is important? Breakfast in bed tomorrow morning. That’s what I’ve been promised.

Gonna be interesting.

Maybe I’d better leave some of those brownies …

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This yummy, dessert-y post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other posts in the comment section and join in. Become the dessert-dessert! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/05/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-11-19/


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#SoCS – Rain

If it rained cats and dogs, would they fight on the way down?

If it rained men, how long would the line-ups be in emergency waiting rooms for people needing casts?

Would we run out of plaster?

I’ve always loved the sound of rain (real rain, not living, breathing rain). I felt safe sleeping in my attic room until the winds started increasing and tornadoes became more frequent in my area. Now I have a huge tree that worries me. If it fell the wrong way … Let’s just say I’m considering asking the city to take it down. Even though its shade keeps my house cool in the summer, I’m not sure it’s worth the risk.

But the gentle rain, when it hits the roof over my head is soothing. I can hear squirrels when they run across my roof–that’s how close it is.

I’m rambling.

It’s late.

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other participants’ posts in the comment section and see how you, too, can join in. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/05/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-4-19/