Life in progress

Tag Archives: Humor


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One-Liner Wednesday – Technology

My new Samsung phone lacks the option to put the flashlight app on the lock screen. What good is a phone if you can’t use it as a flashlight?!?

And get off my lawn!

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com

Available now! Click the image!


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One-Liner Wednesday – Good for a giggle

A trivia question I got on Quiz Planet on Facebook and two of the possible answers:

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to …

a) …fish and he will eat for all his life.

b) …cook and he will feed you.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com

Available now! Click the image!


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What Day is it Anyway? February 8, 2024

Yep. It’s back.

Actually, I needed a What Day is it Anyway? yesterday.

I made such a bonehead move.

On Tuesday, I had to get up at 5am to start my son Alex’s tube feeding so I could make it out the door for a dentist appointment by 10.

Yesterday, I forgot to turn off the alarm, so it rang again at 5.

And I trusted it.

I dragged myself into a sitting position, put on my robe and slippers, and trudged down the stairs to get Alex’s feed started.

It was only when I was pulling the containers of formula out of the case when I thought …

What am I doing?

Am I going somewhere today? Is Alex?

Noooo!

So I put the formula back and trudged back up the stairs.

On my way back to bed, I checked on Alex. He woke up.

“What time is it?” he asked in sign language.

“It’s 5:00,” I replied.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” I said with a shake of my head. “Go back to sleep. I’ll explain later.”

I trudged back to my room, took off my robe and slippers, and went back to bed.

When I told Alex what happened yesterday, he laughed and laughed.

Bonehead Mom.


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One-Liner Wednesday – So that happened…

Today (Monday), I was stopped at a light behind an SUV on which someone had written names in the dust on the back window. Of the seven names (including “MOM”), three of them were names of the characters in the book I’m writing: Blake, Mason, and Dexter.

What are the odds?

(Checks to make sure my OneDrive isn’t compromised.)

(Adds the other three names to my character list. haha!)

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com

Available now! Click the image!


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JusJoJan24 the 18th – Ahhh!!

This post is part of Just Jot it January, and the prompt for today comes to us from Carol Anne. Check out her blog here!

It’s been an interesting day for my blog. And by interesting, I mean scary. You may have noticed it kinda went down for a while.

I spent most of the morning trying to authenticate the email address that’s associated with my domain. I still don’t know whether it worked, but whatever I did in the attempt made me despair for the coming days and weeks of Just Jot it January!

Anyway, in changing the DKIM and the SPF and DNS, I apparently DNR the instructions ASAP and ended up UN-securing my website. I cried. I screamed, I … Okay, I didn’t do either of those things, but I might have yelled “WHAT THE HELL?”

And then I emailed WordPress. And they got back to me three minutes later with a fix.

So my despair was short-lived. For now. But the authentication thing? Still not happening.

If my website disappears again, know it’s just me fiddling around with things I probably shouldn’t be touching.

TYFL to my rant.

This decidedly UNcomfortable post is part of Just Jot it January! Want to join in? Just click here to get to the prompt and drop your link. It’s fun!

Thanks again to Carol Anne for the prompt!


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JusJoJan24 the 2nd – Gregorian

I want to start this post by saying if Gregorian came from a guy named Gregory, there should be a Lindarian something or other.

This post is part of Just Jot it January, and the prompt is courtesy of Willow. Check out her blog here!

Things that were readily available when the Gregorian calendar (the one we use now) came about (in the late 1500s):

  1. Horses on every corner. Or at least on every corner that mattered.
  2. Fresh vegetables without steroids.
  3. Clean air. (Except where the horses were, then WHEW, how ’bout that smell?)
  4. Kids that weren’t glued to a screen most of the time.
  5. Lots of blacksmiths. Because horses.

Things that weren’t readily available when the Gregorian calendar came about:

  1. Horsepower. At least not the car kind.
  2. Milk in bags. Not in Ontario or Quebec, Canada? It’s a thing.
  3. Air that’s free of the scent of horse manure. (But what about those diesel engines? WHEW!)
  4. Computers that could tell you at any given point how many days to Christmas … I could actually do without that, thanks very much.
  5. Few blacksmiths, plenty of tire shops.

And that’s my Lindarian list.

This listy post is part of Just Jot it January! Want to join in? Just click here to get to the prompt and drop your link. It’s fun!

Thanks again to Willow for the prompt!


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One-Liner Wednesday – A more honest version

I rewrote the words to “Let It Snow” to make it more accurate, for my circumstances at least.

Oh the weather outside is stressful

And the mall is just a cesspool

But since we still have to shop

Let it stop

Let it stop

Let it stop

Edit: Apologies to the late Sammy Cahn for twisting the words to his wonderful song … which was written in the middle of summer, apparently. Who knew?

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com

Available now! Click the image!


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One-Liner Wednesday – Time flies

This took me way longer to make than I thought it would just to illustrate a quote.

Photo: A picture of an arrow with the word “Future,” a fruit fly on a piece of yellow fruit that may or may not be a banana, and a quote that reads: “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
― Anthony G. Oettinger

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com

The Magician’s Curse (2.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else (Amazon worldwide, Kobo, etc.)
The Magician’s Blood (3.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
The Magician’s Soul (3.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
“The Great Dagmaru” Complete Series (6.99) on Amazon US and everywhere else
The Magician’s Sire (free with sign-up) here.


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SoCS & #JusJoJan the 28th – Profundities

Do you ever read something profound and think I can write something profound?

So you sit down to write something profound and end up with:

If dirt was sentient, would it consider itself dirty?

Then do you realize how terrible you are at writing something profound and just throw in the towel?

Or is it just me?

***

This cozy post is brought to you by SoCS and Just Jot it January. Click the link to see how you, too, can join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2023/01/27/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2023-daily-prompt-jan-28th/

 

2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley! https://www.quaintrevival.com/


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#JusJoJan the 27th/23 – Social amenities

Our prompt word for January 27th is “amenities.” Thanks so much, Kim, for the neat prompt!

I’ve been having issues with one of my amenities today. Specifically, my internet. Which is part of the reason I’m posting this so late. My reason for yesterday’s late posting? I forgot to hit the publish button. o_O

But I digress.

I learned something new today!

As I often do when I’m looking for inspiration for a post, I opened the dictionary. (I’m such a nerd.)

And I found this in Merriam-Webster:

usually amenities : something (such as a conventional social gesture) that promotes smoothness or pleasantness in social relationships

<maintaining social amenities>

Who knew?

Now that I know, it explains a few things for me.

I come to my blog and to most of the social media sites I visit to be social. To have nice conversations with nice people.

Which, I’ve realized, is why I feel icky when I use social media (or my blog) to try to sell my books.

Sure, they tell you when you advertise that you’re giving the consumer something they need (like my books), or something that will make you happy (definitely my books), but I can’t help but feel that it’s unsmooth and unpleasant to talk about buying my books (which you absolutely want to do) with people who are just trying to have a nice conversation with me.

So perhaps the subliminal approach is best.

Because the truth is, I’m excited about my books. Especially when I have a new release coming out soon. And although it might seem to lack social amenities to talk about my books, I’m sure there are people out there who are excited for me.

Right?

Yeah, no. Totally unsmooth.

 ***

This totally subliminal post is brought to you by Just Jot it January and Kim! Please be sure to check out Kim’s blog here!

For Just Jot it January, click the following link to see how you, too, can join in! https://lindaghill.com/2023/01/27/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-27th-2023/ It’s fun!