Life in progress

Tag Archives: humour


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One-Liner Wednesday – You know that feeling?

You know that feeling when you’re trying to come up with something to write before a 2am deadline but you just can’t think of a damned thing and just the trying feels like this?

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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My Plans for February and Why I’ve Been MIA

That would be Missing In Action, and the reason is also what is behind my exciting news. A friend, who is also an avid reader and a respected author and reviewer of fiction has accepted my request to read my manuscript. I’ve asked her to give me a no-holds-barred opinion on whether or not my novel needs a professional editor. Yes, I know how many authors and editors insist that every novel MUST HAVE an editor, but seriously… My novel is 750 pages long. I’m looking at paying more money than I can probably ever hope to get back. So this is my last-ditch attempt to really see what’s up with my grammar.

So why have I not been around? I’m concentrating on getting this baby as good as it’s going to get before I give it up. And then, it’s either going to an editor or not because come hell or high water, it’s getting published this year. Why is it going to be published this year? Because I told my muse in a letter that it would. And that’s what it all comes down to.

Just had to slip that in

That’s right.

Not that I’m delusional enough to believe that even on the off-chance he read my letter he would remember it ten minutes later, let alone remember I’m writing a character with his sense of fashion, his stage presence and his face, he’s damned well going to (potentially if it gets to him) receive a copy of my novel in the mail, complete with his name in the acknowledgements! So there! (Disclaimer: The preceding run-on sentence is not, by any stretch of the imagination, an example of the grammar in my novel.)

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing and what I’ll be doing for the next week or so. But I haven’t forgotten about you! I realize I’m terribly behind in my reading and replying to comments. I’ll be going back a couple of weeks to get to them, so if you get a reply to a comment you’ve forgotten you left, don’t be surprised. In the meantime I’m going to try to post every day on my fiction blog, plus blog about my trip to Japan here, and, (of course) keep up the weekly prompts. In other words, I won’t be as busy as I was last month. 🙄

Wish me luck. 😀


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One-Liner Wednesday – It really sucks

Woke up to a new message

Woke up to a new message on my fridge… I wonder who left it?

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It was a rough night of peeing everywhere and bumping into things. (Winston, not me) It took him a few tries to get used to going down the small step through the back door without his cone jamming between the slats, causing him to get stuck. He’s still sucking air occasionally, but he doesn’t seem to be in any discomfort. I sincerely hope this is the end of his troubles. I can’t afford any more. But hey, the good news is it was only $2,200 instead of $2,500! 🙄

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.” However, if you’d like to combine One-Liner Wednesday with Just Jot It January, go right ahead!

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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One-Liner Wednesday – It’s not what you think

On Saturday, I went to a Japanese restaurant. It reminded me of the last Japanese restaurant I ate in, which was a Mister Donut.

In Tokyo.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.” However, if you’d like to combine One-Liner Wednesday with Just Jot It January, go right ahead!

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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One-Liner Wednesday – On Taking a Joke

A conversation between my best friend, John, and I:

Me: I need Tylenol.

John: Where’s the pain?

Me: My head, my shoulder, my hips, my ass.

John: (smiles)

Me: But that last one I’ll have to give you Tylenol for.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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Unclobbered – #SoCS

Usually, and this year is no exception, we Canadians are sitting around waiting to be clobbered by the freezing cold that comes with January. The year is exceptional however for the fact that we haven’t yet been clobbered by a load of snow. We are (many of us) snowless. Decidedly unclobbered.

This was taken November 4th.

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This was taken yesterday in the same stretch of park.

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See how green it is? It’s neither red nor white. It’s green.

Waiting to be clobbered by the cold is similar to sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, knowing you’re about to get a needle. Only the needle lasts for several months rather than several seconds. Because it really is painful. -40 degrees on your face feels like a whole face full of needles. When it reaches the fingers it burns. Even your nose hairs revolt and freeze into teensy icicles that close up your nostrils… which could actually be a natural response to prevent brain freeze.

But with all this green going on, maybe I’m just working myself into a frenzy of fear for nothing. Hey, maybe I won’t have to pull my clodhopping boots out of the closet this winter at all.

Right.

This chilly disclosure is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday: https://lindaghill.com/2015/12/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-1215/ Click the link and join in today. Yeah, you!

SoCS badge 2015


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Tuesday Use It In A Sentence – Festoon

I hope you appreciate how far I had to go for this one:

It’s Fez, tuned.

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It’s Tuesday Use It In A Sentence! Click here: https://fortyandfantastique.wordpress.com/2015/12/07/tuesdayuseitinasentence-festoon/ and join in today!


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One-Liner Wednesday – They Lied!

In downtown Shibuya, Tokyo, there are small transport trailers driving the streets with advertising for musical groups, plastered with pictures and songs blasting. I saw one such truck last week, promoting the band “One Direction.” When I saw it twice, the second time going the other way, I called bullshit.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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NanoPoblano Day 18 – …okay, not really. But there’s coffee!

Saying it’s been a rough couple of days is an understatement of mammoth proportions. But the time’s finally here: I’m packed (almost) and just about ready to wake up to a day of traveling. By this time tomorrow night I’ll be a little more than half-way across the Pacific Ocean on my way to sunny (or actually, according to the forecast probably rainy) Tokyo. I’ve mapped out my route from the train station to the hotel this time, so no more wandering the streets until my legs threaten to fall off.

Since I won’t be around for a while, I thought I’d post this tonight. It’s something you can all discuss amongst yourselves in the comments. The subject is coffee. Who doesn’t love coffee? (That’s not what I want to discuss, but if you have to… just try not to get into any fights, okay? Some of us are pretty passionate about our caffeinated beverages.)

What I’m really interested in is how you all go about ordering coffee. In Japan you ask for “kohi” (pronounced almost like coffee) but I was warned that if I don’t want something I can suspend a spoon in, I should always request an “American kohi.” So there’s that.

Last time I was in London, I ordered a coffee and they asked me if I wanted it “black” or “white.” … coffee’s black, right? So I ordered black. The look I got when I asked for cream could have backed up a parked truck. I was told off that I should have ordered it “white” in the first place. Lesson learned.

Here in Canada on the other hand, we ask more for what we want IN our coffee than we actually order coffee. If you walk into a Tim Horton’s and ask for a “double-double,” they’ll give you a cup of steamy deliciousness with two shots of cream and two spoonsfull of sugar. There’s no question that what you want is coffee – everyone wants coffee! Right? Right. Of course Starbucks is a different story altogether. No matter what country you’re in, if you don’t brush up on your Italian at the door you can expect a tutorial before you empty your wallet.

What about where you live? Or where you’ve traveled to? Talk about it with each other and I’ll read all your anecdotes the next time I go online… IN JAPAN!!

See you on the flipside!

NanoPoblano’s a blast even if you cheat – check it out!

nanopoblano2015dark


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NanoPoblano Day 11 – A Bucket of Sludge

If exhaustion was a bucket, mine would be filled with the sludge from the bottom of Loch Ness, where the monster has been pooping for centuries.

If exhaustion was Lego, mine would be a minefield on the floor between me and the bed and not a shoe in sight.

If exhaustion was light, mine would have the intensity of the sun. The sun four feet away from my living room window and me without my sunglasses.

If exhaustion was a beverage, mine would be lemon juice. A pure, squeezed, warm bottomless cup.

If exhaustion was a calculator, mine would be the internet. Google, in particular.

If exhaustion was a blog post, maybe this would actually make sense.

Did I mention I’m tired? I’ll catch up on all the one-liners and comments tomorrow. G’night, WordPress friends. 🙂

nanopoblano2015dark

This less-than-energetic post is brought to you by the good folks at NanoPoblano. Click and enjoy!