Life in progress

Tag Archives: humour


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Like, #SoCS

Can’t you just stop?!

That’s what I wanted to say to a teenager today as I walked past her. She was recounting some story or another to two of her friends and I swear, this is what her speech was like:

So he was like, “what?” like I don’t, like, know and it was like, “haven’t you ever like, liked someone before?” and he was like, “no,” and so I like…

and on and on it went. I seriously almost stopped to ask her if she could utter three sentences without saying the word “like” once. But I didn’t in case doing so caused her to have, like, a seizure or something.

It’s similar (see what I did there?) to listening to a hockey player give an interview.

And uh, I did my best out there, and uh, I think we played a great game, and uh…

Makes you wonder if they teach it in hockey school. Luckily they don’t hesitate to shoot the puck the way they pause between clauses.

And then there’s those who can’t seem to help dropping the f-bomb (I really hate that phrase – f-bomb) between every third and fourth word. Yeah, I won’t – don’t need to – write an example. Do I? Nah. We’ve all heard it. It can get very uncomfortable too, depending on who you’re with. Chances are there’s no point asking the f-‘ing person to stop – they’ll probably do it all the more because what are they doing it for in the first place other than to get attention?

I suppose we all have our speech patterns though. I think I see mine when I write, which makes me more aware of them. I catch my characters sounding like me… I wish they wouldn’t.

 SoCS badge 2015

This, like, post is brought to you by, like, Stream of, like, Consciousness Saturday. You can, like, click here to join in. Do it, like, now, okay?


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One-Liner Wednesday – Snowed In

CAM00101So we got about two feet of snow yesterday, extending my four day weekend home with the kids to a five day weekend.

This

from Meanwhile in Canada @ facebook

from Meanwhile in Canada @ facebook

pretty much describes a few cities around these parts, not just Winnipeg.

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our new, very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


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One-Liner Wednesday – You know that feeling?

You know that feeling when you’re trying to come up with something to write before a 2am deadline but you just can’t think of a damned thing and just the trying feels like this?

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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My Plans for February and Why I’ve Been MIA

That would be Missing In Action, and the reason is also what is behind my exciting news. A friend, who is also an avid reader and a respected author and reviewer of fiction has accepted my request to read my manuscript. I’ve asked her to give me a no-holds-barred opinion on whether or not my novel needs a professional editor. Yes, I know how many authors and editors insist that every novel MUST HAVE an editor, but seriously… My novel is 750 pages long. I’m looking at paying more money than I can probably ever hope to get back. So this is my last-ditch attempt to really see what’s up with my grammar.

So why have I not been around? I’m concentrating on getting this baby as good as it’s going to get before I give it up. And then, it’s either going to an editor or not because come hell or high water, it’s getting published this year. Why is it going to be published this year? Because I told my muse in a letter that it would. And that’s what it all comes down to.

Just had to slip that in

That’s right.

Not that I’m delusional enough to believe that even on the off-chance he read my letter he would remember it ten minutes later, let alone remember I’m writing a character with his sense of fashion, his stage presence and his face, he’s damned well going to (potentially if it gets to him) receive a copy of my novel in the mail, complete with his name in the acknowledgements! So there! (Disclaimer: The preceding run-on sentence is not, by any stretch of the imagination, an example of the grammar in my novel.)

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing and what I’ll be doing for the next week or so. But I haven’t forgotten about you! I realize I’m terribly behind in my reading and replying to comments. I’ll be going back a couple of weeks to get to them, so if you get a reply to a comment you’ve forgotten you left, don’t be surprised. In the meantime I’m going to try to post every day on my fiction blog, plus blog about my trip to Japan here, and, (of course) keep up the weekly prompts. In other words, I won’t be as busy as I was last month. 🙄

Wish me luck. 😀


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One-Liner Wednesday – It really sucks

Woke up to a new message

Woke up to a new message on my fridge… I wonder who left it?

CAM01302

It was a rough night of peeing everywhere and bumping into things. (Winston, not me) It took him a few tries to get used to going down the small step through the back door without his cone jamming between the slats, causing him to get stuck. He’s still sucking air occasionally, but he doesn’t seem to be in any discomfort. I sincerely hope this is the end of his troubles. I can’t afford any more. But hey, the good news is it was only $2,200 instead of $2,500! 🙄

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.” However, if you’d like to combine One-Liner Wednesday with Just Jot It January, go right ahead!

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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One-Liner Wednesday – It’s not what you think

On Saturday, I went to a Japanese restaurant. It reminded me of the last Japanese restaurant I ate in, which was a Mister Donut.

In Tokyo.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.” However, if you’d like to combine One-Liner Wednesday with Just Jot It January, go right ahead!

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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One-Liner Wednesday – On Taking a Joke

A conversation between my best friend, John, and I:

Me: I need Tylenol.

John: Where’s the pain?

Me: My head, my shoulder, my hips, my ass.

John: (smiles)

Me: But that last one I’ll have to give you Tylenol for.

_________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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Unclobbered – #SoCS

Usually, and this year is no exception, we Canadians are sitting around waiting to be clobbered by the freezing cold that comes with January. The year is exceptional however for the fact that we haven’t yet been clobbered by a load of snow. We are (many of us) snowless. Decidedly unclobbered.

This was taken November 4th.

CAM01012

This was taken yesterday in the same stretch of park.

CAM01209

See how green it is? It’s neither red nor white. It’s green.

Waiting to be clobbered by the cold is similar to sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, knowing you’re about to get a needle. Only the needle lasts for several months rather than several seconds. Because it really is painful. -40 degrees on your face feels like a whole face full of needles. When it reaches the fingers it burns. Even your nose hairs revolt and freeze into teensy icicles that close up your nostrils… which could actually be a natural response to prevent brain freeze.

But with all this green going on, maybe I’m just working myself into a frenzy of fear for nothing. Hey, maybe I won’t have to pull my clodhopping boots out of the closet this winter at all.

Right.

This chilly disclosure is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday: https://lindaghill.com/2015/12/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-1215/ Click the link and join in today. Yeah, you!

SoCS badge 2015


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Tuesday Use It In A Sentence – Festoon

I hope you appreciate how far I had to go for this one:

It’s Fez, tuned.

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It’s Tuesday Use It In A Sentence! Click here: https://fortyandfantastique.wordpress.com/2015/12/07/tuesdayuseitinasentence-festoon/ and join in today!


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One-Liner Wednesday – They Lied!

In downtown Shibuya, Tokyo, there are small transport trailers driving the streets with advertising for musical groups, plastered with pictures and songs blasting. I saw one such truck last week, promoting the band “One Direction.” When I saw it twice, the second time going the other way, I called bullshit.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!