Life in progress

Tag Archives: Narcissism


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Criticizing a Caricature

On my recent blog post on Donald Trump, ( https://lindaghill.com/2016/03/22/trump/ ) I’ve had a counterpoint made in response by the dear Mr. Jack Sutter. I have to admit that since I wrote it, I’ve heard Mr. Trump speak on the issues of allowing people in to the country by way of more rigorous screening, and I agree, it’s something that needs to be handled. However.
Donald Trump has proven himself to be a Narcissist of epic proportions. Anyone who has known a Narcissist and been manipulated by one, can attest to the fact that they are both untrustworthy and dangerous. Therefore, one must conclude that what Mr. Trump says now, may or may not be what he would carry out as president. For anyone who has not known a Narcissist personally, I urge you to research Narcissistic Personality Disorder, both for the sake of identifying Mr. Trump and for the event that you might meet one in person.
Jack points out that my statement about not building walls, and instead standing together and being brave means we are doing nothing. I’d like to clarify as best I can. By standing together as a society, we can best find ways to protect ourselves. In the spirit of finding an example, consider this on a smaller scale. If we box ourselves up inside our own four walls with our family, and listen only to the radio to discover what is going on outside, we learn only what the radio tells us. However, if we go out and talk to real people, with real diversity, we learn so much more. We find that we have things in common. Things that the radio doesn’t tell us about because they WANT us to be fearful. It’s their way of controlling us. Once we get out, we can plan to live side-by-side, and do what is best for our communities, and only then can we find the best way to defend ourselves if necessary, using the strength we have in numbers.
When Jack talks about Cold War tactics in his post, he makes a very good point again. Except we have to come back to Mr. Trump’s untrustworthiness. Yes, he might be “just saying” he’ll wipe out the families of terrorists, but he might not. And if he does, then what? You can bet the terrorists will double their efforts.
Again, Jack makes a good point about putting a timetable on taking out the terrorists. But if it’s to be done, it has to be done right, no matter who does it.
And finally, Jack says that Mr. Trump is protecting American Muslims. I counter with this: he’s talking about sending every immigrant back to where they came from, and making them reapply for citizenship. Sending them back to war-torn countries is hardly protecting them.
My main concern is that Donald Trump is a pathological Narcissist. Look it up. He’s the poster boy. If he’s a caricature at all, it’s of himself.
Please visit Jack Sutter’s post to comment, and please keep it civil. Thank you.

Jack Sutter's avatarEmpire of Sludge

Donald Trump is not the monster his critics make him out to be.

That’s not an opinion, it’s a statement of fact.

Most of the criticisms leveled at him – or that you yourself may have even leveled at him if you’re a critic – are based on a caricature. Not on the man himself though, nor on his actual policies or rhetoric. This is verifiable for anyone who wants to look through transcripts of his speeches or listen to them in videos to see what he’s actually said, and to anyone willing to go to his website and actually read his policies. The following, a comment I left on Linda’s post about Trump…

Is a slightly edited response to one of the criticisms I’m describing…

“But how do we fight fear? By being brave and standing together. Not building walls and hiding within them, never letting anyone else in.”

View original post 1,152 more words


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Trump

I feel nauseous just typing the name. But I’ve stayed quiet long enough. I find I have no choice but to speak out. Why, you ask? I realize the chances of changing the mind of anyone who is determined to put him in office is slim to none. But there are people out there whose voices might be heard. My ultimate plea is to those who can make a difference. Also, I feel by not saying anything, my silence in a way condones the possibility that my children and grandchildren will live in a far less free world than I have enjoyed.

I am Canadian. Let’s get that out of the way right now. I have no say in who becomes President of the United States. That is up to the conscience of the society south of my home’s border. But the fact is, the fateful decision to elect this man President will not affect only those within the U.S.’s borders. It will affect the entire world. Today’s events in Brussels and his reaction to them have magnified that.

Today he said he would close the borders; one assumes he means if he was in charge. On the surface, keeping outsiders out is a simple solution to a complex issue. Yet his talk of walls creates fear and encourages bigotry far more than it serves to protect. I know there are legitimate fears. But how do we fight fear? By being brave and standing together. Not building walls and hiding within them, never letting anyone else in.  Just hours ago, he tweeted, “Time & time again I have been right about terrorism. It’s time to get tough! ” When he claims he will torture and kill the families of terrorists, and when he talks about waterboarding, he sanctions the very same methods of terror that the terrorists are using: violence to get a point across. He is attempting to turn America into a personification of himself: a cowardly, narcissistic little man who acts with great bravado until he is told he’s wrong. Then he lashes out. A true narcissist has no compassion. Anyone who stands in his way, whether they are Muslim, Canadian, or American, will be crushed. A true narcissist thinks the only thing that is “great” is himself. Make America great again, indeed.

The history books are filled with the results of propaganda such as that he spews, but again and again we forget history. Or we ignore it. And again and again we repeat it.  In the next few days I will be writing a book review of Ken Follett’s “Century” trilogy. I was never big into history myself – I’d never go out of my way to learn it. But what I have learned by reading this historical fiction chills me to the bone. The parallels between the social unrest and widespread poverty in Germany leading up to the ELECTION of Hitler are, well, enough to make me come out of the political closet and write this article.

Today, while the present leaders of the world are pulling together their populations, and saying that while they will fight such terror as was perpetuated in Brussels, and earlier in Turkey and France among so may other places, they are also telling us not to allow the terrorists to bring us over to the side of hate. They are saying we need to look beyond the colour of our skin and our religious beliefs, and stand together regardless of our nationalities. The alternative is to fear those who are different, and build walls to keep them out.

Hatred begets hatred: two negatives do not make a positive. We teach our children this. Can we learn it ourselves? I hope we can, before it’s too late.

 


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Finally, My Review of 50 Shades of Grey

I’ve held off reviewing the trilogy of 50 Shades of Grey because, mostly, I didn’t think it was worth my time. A poorly written, badly researched Twilight fanfic, it was more laughable when I read it than anything. It’s a masterpiece of an example of something that should have never been published for so many reasons, and yet it was.

I’m writing this now for two reasons. First, that I made a silly suggestion in my last post that single women go to see the movie, and further to that end I want to take it back – at least until you’ve read this review of the movie, which is my second reason for coming out with this now —–>>> http://www.mamamia.com.au/rogue/fifty-shades-of-grey-review-rosie-waterland/

I’ve said a few times that the film couldn’t possibly be worse than the book. It seems that perhaps, if the above review is accurate, that it might even be doing those who see 50 Shades as romance a favour by depicting the character of Christian Grey for what he really is: a narcissist, and a dangerous one at that.

I have to believe that E.L. James meant the story to be titillating; to show the world of BDSM in the mainstream. 50 Shades of Grey is NOT, however, an accurate depiction of what BDSM is. Although I’ve never been active in a BDSM relationship, I’ve written extensively with someone who has. I learned a lot from this. Foremost, and E.L. James actually WROTE this into the contract she copied and pasted numerous times in the book, is that a submissive must be able to trust a Dom. And over and over and over again, Christian Grey, the Dom, proves himself untrustworthy. Consistency is so far from one of James’ strong suits though, it catapults itself far above the ceiling over which my eyes constantly rolled during the reading of the novels. The average reader may have skimmed this. The writer and editor in me could not. It’s that “skimming” which leads me to believe, nay, KNOW that 50 Shades of Grey is a danger to any and all young women who fall into the trap of seeing it as romantic – or anything but what it is. A story of torture at the hands of a psychopathic narcissist.

If you’re planning to see the movie, know what you’ll be watching. The word “fun” should be banned from the screening of this film.


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My Baby is a Teenager

Ah, the innocent narcissism of a child. Not to be confused with the pathological sickness found in some adults, we are born with a strong sense of self-preservation, and it’s not until we grow that we realize our own needs aren’t all there are. I wonder where we cross over. Is it the first time we see our own mother cry? Somewhere, somehow, compassion becomes a part of our psyche, and that’s where the narcissism of childhood ends.

However, on days like today nothing matters to my son, Alex, except Alex. My baby turns thirteen years old today and he’s extremely proud of himself. It’s delightful to me to see him bask in his own glow. It was beyond my wildest dreams when he was born that he’d ever reach this milestone, and so I’m happy to make his every wish come true.

Alex 'n' Me (1)

Alex ‘n’ Me

Four foot two, and sixty pounds, he’s a dynamo of enthusiasm and love for everyone around him. In his mind he is as small as his frail physique; as much as his physical age is telling him he needs independence, he still comes to mom for cuddles when something hurts. He retains that childish innocence – that me me me mindset, and yet he’ll pat me lovingly on the cheek if I say I have a headache.

I have no idea how long his childishness will last… I have no idea what to expect of tomorrow, but I do know one thing:  Today, nothing matters but my baby.