Confession time: the word “purloin” has always reminded me of a nice, juicy piece of medium-rare beef .

I have to say thank you to my poor thesaurus today. For all the complaints I’ve bestowed upon it this month for some of the crappy words I’ve ended up with, this one makes up for them. I love the word “purloin” not because it’s a great word in and of itself, nor because it makes my mouth water, but for its synonyms. Reading through them in my thesaurus is like taking a page out of a noir detective movie starring Humphrey Bogart.

Bugsy made off with the goods, see? He musta pinched them when no one was looking, that dirty, no good thief. We’ve been snaffled.

“Filch, finger, lift, pocket, snitch, and swipe” are a few more.

With that, I think I’ll go to the store and appropriate a steak tomorrow. With my debit card, see?

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