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Just Jot It January 8th – Honorable

I’ve been procrastinating long and hard on this post. It’s not that I don’t want to write it, it’s more that I want to get it right. But I want to get some sleep at some point tonight (I haven’t had a night off without kids since my last one in Japan, on November 29th) so here I am just writing it.

Honesty, honour (I managed to eke out one American spelling for the title; sorry Tasha, that’s the best I can do), and ethics, to me, are the most important qualities in a person. I’m no harder on anyone else on these points than I am on myself. I demand them of myself constantly. I come by it honestly enough.

The Golden Rule was drummed into me as a child to the extent that I’ve developed a love/hate relationship with it. Yes, it should be followed always, but it seems a no-brainer. While many people consider it a purely ethical teaching, I can see an equal amount of logic in it. Like Newton’s third law (every action has an equal and opposite reaction), “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” simply makes sense. I’ve begun to see it in action on a daily basis, now that I have a puppy in the house.

Alex is on a feeding pump at home for at least a few hours every day. The pump (which is like an IV pump) has a tube running through it which attaches to a valve in his stomach; it delivers his formula directly. There is about three feet of tubing between his belly and the machine, so if he walks away from the device, the tube sits on the floor. Alex is deathly afraid of the dog grabbing and pulling on the tube, so every time the pup comes near, he screams and pushes him away. The puppy, being a puppy, thinks this means he wants to wrestle. Which makes the situation so much worse than if he quietly held the dog at arm’s length until it got bored and walked away.

Golden Rule or Newton’s Law? Or both?

While my example doesn’t really have a lot to do with behaving ethically, honourably, or honestly, it’s a prime example of why we must react to and treat all humans and creatures as kindly as we can, with as much understanding as we are able to muster. Wouldn’t the world be so much better if puppies weren’t pushed away from enteral feeding devices? And we all just got along quietly and calmly?

The “Honorable” prompt is brought to you by Tasha at Corner Of Confessions. Please click on the link to visit her blog, and follow her if you aren’t already!

JJJ 2016

To find the rules for Just Jot It January, click here and join in today. It’s never too late! And don’t forget to ping back your January 8th post here!


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#SoCS – Strangely Enough

Strangely enough, I’m still tired after sleeping until 10am (thanks, Alex for letting me lay in) and so I’m writing this while I wait for my tea to steep. I’m a bit picky about how I make my tea. I used to have a teapot, but it broke and I haven’t bothered to get another one. So I have this cup that came with a lid and a plastic basket for the tea bag that I use all the time. I still always put the milk in first, even though I’m pouring boiling water over the tea bag in the cup. (I can hear all you teaophiles gasping. But I’m halfway there, aren’t I?) It makes a pretty decent cup of tea.

I find it strange how things work out sometimes too. For instance, as I already noted, I woke up at 10, which means I didn’t start Alex’s first feed on his feeding pump until 10:20. The feed takes about 2 hours to go through, so he finished his breakfast at 12 or so. He’s having his lunch now, at 3:46pm, which means it’s going to be a late night for me as he’ll want to go out trick or treating before he has his dinner. BUT. I’m hanging on to the fact that we have an extra hour tonight. It’s like a gift from the g-tube god. Or the clock god. Or maybe it’s some sort of spooky Halloween god-type-vampire who goes around giving rest instead of taking blood. Or something. Did I mention I’m tired?

I went for a walk with, Alex, my best friend John, and his two young granddaughters today.  There was an elderly gentleman walking a little dog (we were on the path that runs along the water) and the two girls ran up to the man and asked if they could pet the dog. It both amazes and scares me how easy it is for little children to run up and talk to strangers. I do say hello to people I pass on the trail all the time, but at least I’m more than two and a half feet tall and weigh more than 40 pounds.

Anyway, now I’m rambling and my tea is ready. I’ll leave you with a pretty picture of the water though, that I took a couple of weeks ago. Enjoy!

CAM00971

This post has been brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in today: https://lindaghill.com/2015/10/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-3115/

SoCS badge 2015


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The Advocate

I’m not sure if this is going to come off as a tired rant, a tirade, or an attempt to show others that they’re not alone, but here we go anyway.

Advocating for one’s family is a ball-buster. Bureaucracy makes it so that the people working at the level the public deals with on a daily basis in the schools, and all the way up to the federal government, are in a position to simply throw up their hands and say, “Sorry, this is the way it is.” Which makes it necessary for us advocates to go above their heads. But it’s not as easy as just making a phone call. Oh no. There are “proper channels” we must go through. Forms to fill out and send either by snail mail or fax machines we have to drive around town to find and then spend money on.  And then there’s the wait. The wait that is so damned long we forget whether we do indeed have to just wait or follow up. Follow up? Oh yes, start at the bottom again to get the right phone/fax/post office box number.

And while all that’s going on, something else has come up. It’s a lot of work and it’s stressful! Even if we do manage to talk to someone on the phone we have to go into “stand and fight” mode before we even start. Because nothing is easy and no one at the other end is going to give in. If we’re lucky (and I use that term loosely) we get transfered to the next higher up on the food chain so that we can go through our case again. And then what? Normally it’s wait and see. Or, “We’ll mail you the forms to fill out.” Again.

What I have on the go includes (but is not limited to) getting an aid to help my 20 year old Autistic son in class so he can graduate high school this year; getting the funding I’m entitled to for my other son’s eyeglasses; finding out what the hell is going on with the holter (heart) monitor his cardiologist ordered months ago; sorting which hoops I have to jump through for the nurse at his school who doesn’t want him to eat by mouth this year, this after a lengthy process (with a two year waiting list) of having a swallow study done, followed by a report which was discussed at a meeting with the specialists and the above mentioned nurse to explain that he could eat by mouth; finding out what happened to the money my mother was supposed to get back from the condo corporation after we sold her unit… The list goes on and on. And it’s all wrapped up in bureaucratic bullcrap.

Luckily I’m a stay-at-home mom, so I don’t do anything all day anyway… 🙄

I’m sure I’m not alone in this. In fact I’m sure there are others out there who have it even worse than I do. I have to wonder if there’s a better way to do things. Don’t you?


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JusJoJan 16 – Sometimes I Have the Strangest Conversations

Yesterday I had to take my son, Alex, to the doctor to get a note for school. It wasn’t for a high-risk field trip; it wasn’t because of some strange sort of disease the school needed to be assured he was free from – nothing like that.

I needed a note to say that he was allowed to eat. The first conversation on the phone with the doctor’s secretary went something like this:

Me: Hi. I need an appointment to get a doctor’s note.

Secretary: Okay, what is it for?

Me: Well, you see, the nurse at his school won’t let him eat until he has an all-clear from the doctor.

Secretary: Soooo, when was the last time he went to school?

Me: Today.

Secretary: How long has it been since the school didn’t allow him to eat.

Me: It’s been about a week.

Secretary: ….

Me: So can I get an appointment soon? Or…

Secretary: I don’t understand.

Me: Neither do I.

All of this, of course, came about because he aspirated (inhaled and had lodged in his right lung) a piece of food on Christmas Eve. For the most part he is tube fed, but the school wants to make sure it’s safe for him to eat before they’ll let him do so.

So today I went to the doctor. That conversation went as follows:

Doctor: Sooo… what do you want me to write?

Me: Just say he can eat. OH, and drink. I don’t want to have to bother you again in case they decide that’s against the rules as well.

Doctor: And he’s been fine when he eats at home, right?

Me: As fine as he’s ever been.

Doctor: Oookay.

(She starts typing.)

Me: I guess this isn’t something you write a note for every day, eh?

Doctor: Err, no.

Today, Alex went to school with the note in his backpack. After not being allowed to eat with the other kids for a week, he’s a happy camper.

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