Life in progress

Tag Archives: Humor


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One-Liner Wednesday, May 6th, 2020 – Ironic Independence

As I was about to go upstairs to my room to work yesterday, I turned to Alex and asked him if he could do something independently. I had one hand full, so I could only sign the two-handed ASL sign with one hand.

He wanted to be sure he understood me right, so he signed “again,” then held his hand up to mine, and together, we signed the word “independent.”

How ironic.

Here’s what the sign looks like, if you’re interested.

https://www.signasl.org/sign/independent

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


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What Day is it Anyway? Tuesday, May 5th, 2020

My day today so far–11:05pm: 

I’m having one of those I-have-no-idea-what-I-did-today days. I was certainly confused over what day it was all day. For some reason, my brain wanted it to be Monday again.

I know I went for a walk with Alex today, because I remember how cold it was.

Oh, and I went out to get the mail, opened an envelope, gave myself a paper cut, then forgot about it until the hand sanitizer hit it.

Yeah, that wince you just did? That was me.

Why I’m writing this post:

Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are going to be hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress and all over the Internet as well, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.

I want everyone to know that you can start discussions with each other in the comments, and if you’d like to write your own “What Day is it Anyway?” post, you can link to this one. Hashtag #WDIIA.

Let’s keep in touch!


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One-Liner Wednesday, April 29th, 2020 – Ladies

When Alex and I were out for our walk a couple of days ago, we passed a friendly jogger.

“How are you ladies doing?” he asked.

“Fine,” I answered, happy that Alex doesn’t read lips. He’s been bugging me for a hair cut, and that comment would not have helped matters.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


by 13 Comments

AtoZ/What Day is it Anyway? Thursday, April 16th, 2020 – Nixed

 

My day today so far–8:10pm: 

Another day without a walk. But I did get to the grocery store. The only thing they were out of today was large bags of dog food. Oh, and dog treats too–no rawhide or any of that stuff. But that’s okay–even if I’m gaining weight, it doesn’t mean Winston needs to too.

While I was at my mother’s retirement home, standing in the middle of the room with two boxes to pack up years’ worth of stuff, I got a call to say they’re not moving her to the nursing home after all. The province of Ontario decided to close new admissions to all nursing homes, so she’s got to stay put in the hospital for the time being. Which, in a way, is good. She won’t be stuck in isolation in a place she doesn’t recognize at all. At least in the hospital she has a roommate and nurses coming in regularly.

So I made a very small dent in the packing of her room in the two hours I was there.

One thing I found that I’d rather not have?

She had a banana in her coat pocket.

And she hasn’t worn her coat since the 22nd of March.

Why I’m writing this post:

Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are going to be hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress and all over the Internet as well, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.

I want everyone to know that you can start discussions with each other in the comments, and if you’d like to write your own “What Day is it Anyway?” post, you can link to this one. Hashtag #WDIIA.

Let’s keep in touch!


by 18 Comments

What Day is it Anyway? Sunday, April 12th, 2020

My day today so far–3:52pm: 

*sigh* Not much going on today. I’m still in my pajamas, working in my bedroom while Alex sits in the living room watching movies. I’ll try to get him out the door for a walk this afternoon, since we’re supposed to have an absolutely horrid day tomorrow, weather-wise. I’ve been thinking about having dinner delivered, and was going to do it tomorrow, but with driving rain, thunder storms, and 100km/h winds, I ain’t doing that to some poor delivery person.

Yesterday A few days ago:

When Alex and I were out walking, I came across this sign in a window. It was a refreshing change from the usual “We’re closed indefinitely because of Covid-19.”

Photo: A handwritten sign that reads: Notice. We are presently not open because we are closed.

Happy Easter, everyone!

Why I’m writing this post:

Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are going to be hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress and all over the Internet as well, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.

I want everyone to know that you can start discussions with each other in the comments, and if you’d like to write your own “What Day is it Anyway?” post, you can link to this one. Hashtag #WDIIA.

Let’s keep in touch!


by 47 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Oops, I did it again

I found another note to myself on my phone. Care to guess what it means?

Photo: A screenshot off my phone of a note that says “Ozy” and nothing else.

In other news, Alex went back to school on Monday! Yay!!!

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


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#SoCS – Imperfect

Perfect is for fiction

Impossible to achieve

Is life stranger than fiction?

If it were, we could be perfect.

Oooh boy, am I drifting tonight. I’ve become a lightweight–half a glass of wine and I can’t think straight. I’m the perfect cheap drunk if nothing else.

Alex is finally feeling better and it’s supposed to rain all day on Monday, so as long as they don’t change that to freezing rain–which would be my luck–he’ll be going to school for the first time since Valentine’s Day. And I know that means I should finally get some work done, but I’ll likely procrastinate most of the day.

I do need a new phone. I have an ancient Huawei that has had no space on it since the day I got it about three years ago. I love the thing, but the apps are starting to act up. It’s time to move on. It’s always a bittersweet moment when I get a new phone. I miss the old one, and I hate the idea of having to get used to where everything is on a new one, but it’s exciting at the same time. Do you know what I mean? Is it like that for you, too?

I’ve been with the same carrier for oh … about 25 years? Is that possible? Maybe a bit less, but not much. I’ve thought about changing, but this company owes me for being loyal. Maybe not as much as my bank, who I’ve been with for 40 years, but close.

Sticking with a company isn’t really rare, I don’t think. Or maybe I’m just weird.

I’ve said that a lot lately–maybe I’m just weird. I’m starting to believe it’s true. Or maybe I’ve always believed it’s true.

I feel like Chinese food.

Maybe I’ll have cheese and crackers.

Yeah.

That’ll be perfect.

2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley! https://www.quaintrevival.com/

This tipsy post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday! Click the following link and check out all the other posts in the comment section, and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2020/02/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-29-2020/

P.S. I had a dream Saturday morning that I was in Japan with Dan Antion. Our mission was to try out a new speedboat that was the size of a Wii balance board. Both of us, at the same time. When I woke up, we were fighting over who would get to wear the only life jacket. Alex was there, too, but he was a cat. And wouldn’t you know it? I’d forgotten to study Japanese, so I couldn’t understand what anyone was saying … Because, after all, one does not expect to wake up in Japan when one goes to sleep in one’s own bed at night.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Written Off

Status update.

Last week I wrote this: Between Family Day on Monday, a snow day yesterday, and Alex complaining before bed that he’s going to be too sick to go to school tomorrow, I think I may just write off this week in terms of getting any work done.

Since then: Alex was off school sick Wednesday and Thursday, Friday was a teacher’s strike, Monday and Tuesday (yesterday) sick still, today we’re getting a foot of snow, so another snow day, tomorrow he has an appointment out of town so no school, and Friday there’s another teacher’s strike.

I’m hoping for Monday.

Winston still agrees.

Photo: My dog, Winston, looking like he’s up to no good.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


by 26 Comments

#SoCS – The Sound of Silence

For a dog that’s not very big, Winston, my beagle/Basset cross has a big barrel chest and a huge voice. He always has, even when he was tiny.

He makes all kinds of noises other than the ones you’d expect. He can howl beautifully, and when he really wants attention, especially from someone who’s walked in the door (if they’re a friend or family), it’s almost as though he’s talking with his “rowr rowr rowr” that’s half howl, half cry.

But it’s the sounds he doesn’t make that kill me.

You know, the silent but deadly ones?

Why can’t a dog fart loudly so we can run away before it hits the nostrils?

I can be sitting here on the couch, minding my own business, when suddenly the room smells like I walked into a barn full of cows that have been eating the most sulfurous corn on the planet for three days without being mucked out.

It’s horrid!

I can’t even blame my own farts on the dog because everyone knows that nothing on earth smells as awful as he does.

You’d think all the tissues he eats would stifle some of it, but no!

I’m sure I could change his diet somehow, but he eats everything, including the garbage I’m sure the neighbours throw into my back yard, so there’s not much point in that.

I may have to get a clothes peg off the line outside …

2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley! https://www.quaintrevival.com/

This stinky post was brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other sweeter-smelling posts in the comment section and join in yourself. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2020/02/21/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-22-2020/


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One-Liner Wednesday – Ready to Write It Off

Between Family Day on Monday, a snow day yesterday, and Alex complaining before bed that he’s going to be too sick to go to school tomorrow, I think I may just write off this week in terms of getting any work done.

Winston agrees.

Photo: My dog, Winston, looking like he’s up to no good.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com