Life in progress


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One-Liner Wednesday, May 20th, 2020 – It must be magic!

 

Photo: Black and white polka-dotted slippers and pjs on a white-painted wooden surface. Photo reads: Who had “Spend two months at home in my pajamas” for their New Year’s resolution, and how did you make it so we’re all doing it?


If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


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364. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, August 30th, 6:00pm
Drommen (and Sheila)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Sheila takes the seat beside him.

Sheila: Hi.

Drommen: (smiles) Hi.

Sheila: You’re looking like you’re pretty pleased with yourself.

Drommen: I am. I’ve decided to give up a part of my life that was no good for me. Let it go. Now I’m much happier.

Sheila: Well, good for you!

Drommen: Thank you.

Sheila: It’s important for people to set limits for themselves.

Drommen: It is.

Sheila: And to follow their dreams.

Drommen: Indeed.

Sheila: Hey, can I ask you a question?

Drommen: Go right ahead.

Sheila: Do you mind if I masturbate?

 

Next stop: Friday, August 31st, 8:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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362. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, August 28th, 5:00pm
Ms. Ethics (and Hilda)

 

Ms. Ethics sits at the window. Hilda takes the seat beside her.

Hilda: Long time no see.

Ms. Ethics: Well, hello. How is your seance business going?

Hilda: Wonderfully, thank you.

Ms. Ethics sniffs and turns to the window.

Hilda: How is your column working out for you?

Ms. Ethics: (turns back) Very well, thank you. My clientele is mostly happy with my work.

Hilda: That’s lovely. All of mine are happy.

Ms. Ethics: (blinks a few times) Well bully for you.

Hilda: Listen. I was hoping I’d run in to you again. I have a question for you. It’s a personal one. Nothing to do with a client.

Ms. Ethics: (smirking) Go ahead.

Hilda: Would it be improper to tell my ex that his house is haunted by a bad spirit after he’s bought it? He’s going to sign the papers today.

Ms. Ethics opens her mouth, closes it again, and turns to the window.

 

Next stop: Saturday, August 29th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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361. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, August 27th, 5:00pm
Alfred and Hester

 

Hester: Now you’ve got your Viagra, what are you going to do when we get home?

Alfred: Obviously anything to get out of ironing my own shirts.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, August 28th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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360. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, August 26th, 1:00pm
Valhallah (and Simon)

 

Valhallah sits at the window. Simon takes the seat beside her.

Valhallah: I’m looking particularly beautiful today, don’t you think?

Simon: Absolutely edible.

Valhallah: Oooh, I like you.

Simon: I could take you places.

Valhallah: Yeah? Like where?

Simon: I can seriously see you in Greece.

Valhallah: Really? That would cost an arm and a leg!

Simon: (chuckles) Oh, at least.

 

Next stop: Monday, August 27th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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355. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, August 21st, 5:00 6:00pm
Simon (and Sofia)

 

Simon sits at the window. Sofia takes the seat beside him.

Sofia: I’m sitting here because there’s somebody at the back of the bus I don’t like.

Simon: Oh really?

Sofia: It’s more like I don’t understand her. All she talks about is guys with beards. She absolutely loves guys with beards. Can’t get enough of guys with beards. I wouldn’t mind, but she’s obsessed. And I don’t know – she’s just got really bad taste.

Simon: (turns) Which one is she?

Sofia: Doesn’t matter. She wouldn’t like you. You’re clean shaven.

Simon: Oh, I don’t care if she likes me. I just want to see how bad she tastes.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, August 22nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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351. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, August 17th, 5:00pm
Bob (and Robin)

 

Bob sits at the window. Robin takes the seat beside him.

Bob: You don’t look very happy.

Robin: I’m not. I got stood up. By a pastor of all people.

Bob: Really?

Robin: Yeah. My old pastor retired. We’ve got a new guy apparently. I had an appointment for marriage counseling.

Bob: Well congratulations. When are you getting married?

Robin: In three weeks. And if I don’t see the pastor, he won’t marry us. Look; (turns on phone and shows him appointment) there it is, right there.

Bob: Your appointment’s for Saturday. Today is Friday.

Robin: No it isn’t.

Bob: I assure you it is.

Robin: No way. (takes closer look at phone) Fuck.

Bob: I don’t recommend you do that before you get married. But we’ll talk about that tomorrow, shall we?

Robin: (frowns) Beg pardon?

Bob: (holds his hand out to shake) I’m Bob, your new pastor.

 

Next stop: Saturday, August 18th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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346. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, August 12th, 1:00pm
Winston and Freda

 

Winston: You know, I could very well be the most beautiful man on earth.

Freda: To somebody, maybe.

Winston: What’s that supposed to mean?

Freda: Your nose is on crooked, you have one eyebrow that constantly looks surprised, and there’s cake in your chin dimple.

Winston: I can pick the cake out.

Freda stares at him.

Winston: I was saving it for later.

 

Next stop: Monday, August 13th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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345. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, August 11th, 8:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Lily)

 

Alice: Are you sure you’re okay to go out tonight?

Bella: Never better. Now that Edward is locked up.

Lily: (pops up in the seat behind them, making them jump) No he’s not.

Bella: (turns) What do you mean he’s not? I was there when they arrested him … You too! How did you get out?

Lily: We turned to smoke and slipped out through the bars.

Alice: You’re full of shit.

Bella pulls out her phone.

Lily: Who you gonna call?

Bella: Ghostbusters, who do you think? I’m calling the cops to come and get you.

Lily: (smiles, showing fake fangs) They’ll never catch me.

Alice: Fuckin’ right they will.

Lily disappears.

Bella: Where’d she go.

Both lean over the seat. Lily is crouched down on the floor.

Alice: What’s that, your version of smoke?

Lily hisses and reaches up to pull the cord for the bus to stop.

Bella: You’re not hiding from anyone.

Lily continues to crouch down, ignoring her.

Bella: (to Alice) Do you believe this? She actually thinks she’s invisible.

The bus stops.

Alice: (as Lily disembarks) Wanna follow her?

Bella: Nah. I know where she lives.

 

Next stop: Sunday, August 12th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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343. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, August 9th, 5:006:00pm
MoJo and JoJo

 

MoJo sits at the window. JoJo boards the bus.

JoJo: (standing in the aisle, points at MoJo) YOU!

MoJo: (points at himself) Who me?

JoJo: (shouting) Yes you! You killed my family. Now I will kill you!

MoJo: Dude, I didn’t kill your family!

JoJo: (approaches) You didn’t?

MoJo: No man. You need to stop watchin’ so many Kung Fu movies, Dude!

JoJo: (sits beside him) Huh. Maybe you’re right. What’ll we watch tonight then?

MoJo: (shrugs) Titanic?

JoJo: (smiles) Propeller guy! (holds up hand for high five)

MoJo: Sinkin’!

 

Next stop: Friday, August 10th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.