Old house: check. Old car: check. New car: check. …wait, that’s not a DeLorean!
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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!
5. Have fun!
#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion
One-Liner Wednesday – I Want It All
More fun with the fridge:
“I know what I want: it all. Now.” My eldest son wrote this with fridge magnets (I added the omnomnom, because it’s the fridge) and thus started a new game: guess who sang the lyrics.
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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our very cool new badge to your post for extra exposure!
5. Have fun!
#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion
#SoCS – The Weather
Whether you’re from the east coast or the west coast or somewhere in between, if you’re Canadian, you love to talk about the weather. It’s our national pasttime, aside from drinking our Timmie’s and jumping into a frozen lake on the first of January. …okay, not all of us are that brave. I’m not that brave. Scratch that last one.
The weather was lovely today. I sat outside (in the car) and read my book for an hour while I waited for my son to get out of his movie. With the windows down and everything! (In the car, not in the movie.) I sometimes hate not being able to fix my grammar when I write a SoCS post. Why did I make up that rule? Oh yeah. To make it feel like we’re actually sitting down, talking together. My grammar isn’t as good when I speak, compared to when I edit what I’ve written. And let’s face it, who’s going to stop listening to me because my spoken grammar sucks? Wait… nobody listens to me anyway. Never mind.
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, the weather. It went up to 24C today. Perfect. My best friend, John, came over and cut the grass – he brought his own lawn mower since mine kicked the bucket. Luckily I only have a front yard to worry about. The back is still just dirt. And speaking of dirt (and mud), I had a smell outside today that was so rotten that I called the gas company to come and check to see if there was a leak. Turns out my next door neighbour was emptying his pool of skunky water. Yeah, it was that bad. And where did he drain it? Let’s just say Winston’s paws were wet when he came in.
Thank goodness for my back door neighbour’s beautiful yard. Makes up for my muddy one and the next door neighbour’s stinky one – as long as I keep the windows closed and the dog in. But who wants to do that with all this lovely weather?
Stream of Consciousness Saturday (yeah, I know, it’s Sunday now – shoot me) is brought to you by me and my prompt, here: check it out! https://lindaghill.com/2017/06/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-317/
One-Liner Wednesday – A Dog’s Purpose
Winston made me laugh: he jumped up on the couch and sat on the remote control, changing the TV to the pay-per-view channel featuring A Dog’s Purpose. Good boy!
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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our very cool new badge to your post for extra exposure!
5. Have fun!
#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion
Attack of the Puppy-Sized Spider
So I’m driving down the highway last night, cruising along at about 115km/hr (around 75mph) when out of the corner of my eye I see the silhouette of a spider crawling down my window.
“Oh God, it’s a spider,” I exclaim to my adult son in the passenger seat.
“I see it,” he says.
“Can you kill it? Without going across my line of sight?”
“Maybe,” he says. He’s panicking too. He hates bugs. He once tried to jump out of a moving van because we had a fruit fly travelling with us. No joke. Okay, he was three years old at the time, but you get the picture.
“If you can’t kill it, just watch where it goes. Tell me if it gets too close to me. NO WAIT! Don’t tell me.”
“Okay. I won’t tell you. But you might want to pull over.”
“I can’t pull over for a spider!! We’re on the frickin’ highway!”
“Okay, okay,” he says, sounding more anxious than ever. “But you don’t want to know where it is right now.”
“DON’T TELL ME! DO YOU WANT TO DIE?” We’re passing two transport trailers at this point, and I’ve sped up to 130 to get to the offramp. We’re almost home.
“NO! No, it’s okay. It’s nowhere near you.”
We stay quiet. I’m trying to sit as far away from the driver’s door as possible; I can see him looking my way out of the corner of my eye.
“It’s really dark,” he says. “I don’t see it anymore.”
I get off the highway and force myself to stay calm until we get to the parking lot of the nearest Tim Horton’s. As soon as I park the car I start looking for the beast.
“It crawled along your arm and into the back seat,” my son admits. “It was only this big though.” He holds his hand up and forms an “o” that’s less than the size of a dime.
“No, it’s huge,” I argue.
He looks at me, but says nothing.
“Well, thank you for not telling me it was crawling on me,” I say. “I didn’t want to die tonight.”
“Me neither.”
Then I say, “Okay, I’m going in to get a coffee. You stay here and look for the spider.” (It’s such a privilege, being a mom.)
“Get me a croissant,” he says. It’s the least I can do.
A few minutes later he comes into the restaurant. “I couldn’t find the spider.”
“Oh no,” I sigh.
I managed to get us the rest of the way home without freaking out last night, but we still haven’t found the spider. Despite the fact that it was the size of a puppy.
Anyone want a really cheap car?
#SoCS – Smell
I have a funny smell in my house right now. I think it’s a bag of garbage that needs to get out to the garage. Maybe I should put it out before it leaves by itself. Yeah, it’s gonna grow legs soon – that’s how ripe it’s getting.
It must really suck to have a sniffer as good as my dog’s. I can throw a dog biscuit out into the back yard and he’ll find it with his nose. He’ll start with a wide circle and go around and around in smaller circles until he finds it. It’s a target.
Winston
He’s definitely a hound.
When I write, I try to include smells. It helps to put a reader into the story when they can relate a smell to a scene. So what would fiction for dogs be like? All smells with the occasional command stuck in that they can relate to?
Other dog, other dog, cat, food, bone, SIT! Pant pant omnomnomnomnom…
Bestseller. New Pork Times.
This (woof!) post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in! https://lindaghill.com/2017/05/26/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-2717/
#SoCS – Language
I find the mechanics of language both fascinating and frustrating. The acrobatics your tongue needs to accomplish when making its way around different languages is something I’ve never really mastered. I know enough French to make my way around Quebec without getting arrested–in Japan… let’s just say if I was about to be arrested, I was totally oblivious. Yet in the case of speaking French, I barely do. I can read most of it, and I can understand a lot of it when someone is speaking to me, but actually forming the words myself? I trip over my tongue like it’s six feet long. When I lived on the Quebec side of the Ottawa River, my local grocery store employees were used to me. They’d speak French, I spoke English, everything was understood and there was no gross salivation to worry about.
Japanese is a much easier language to speak. There’s very little tongue rolling going on, and most of the consonants sound the same as they do in English. Reading it? Pfft. Although I got to know the kanji for place names when I was there (because at the train stations they’re displayed in English, kana, and kanji), and obviously I learned the difference between “Men” and “Women” before I stepped off Canadian soil, much of the written language may as well be Greek. Or Japanese.
Lip reading, on the other hand, is a whole different subject when considering the tongue. Try it: say “dada” and “data.” Concentrate on what your lips look like when you say the two words. No difference. What changes is the position of the tongue. Even trying to say it with your mouth open, it’s impossible to show the difference to a deaf person. I was introduced to this difficulty when my Deaf son, Alex, was about four years old. The local children’s hospital (CHEO in Ottawa) had him in a program to see if he could ever learn to speak. He had hearing aids at the time, but they only allowed him to hear very loud noises. Speech wasn’t one of them. Eventually it was determined that because he never learned to suck as a baby (he’s tube fed to this day and he’s 16 years old) he’d never have the muscle control to speak. We gave up on the hearing aids when he started getting ear infections every other week. But back to the tongue. There are a few sounds that we make when we speak that are impossible to discern from our lips.
Holy spit balls, Batman! I just realized where the expression “mother tongue” came from! Sucking as a baby!!
…and, now I can’t concentrate on my stream of consciousness anymore.
This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. To find the rules and join in, click the following link. Please do – it’s fun!! https://lindaghill.com/2017/05/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-1317/
One-Liner Wednesday – Foreigner
My son wrote on my fridge, “I wanna know what love iiisss…” but I, being the mom I am, couldn’t stand to leave it alone. An ode to my barren back yard:
I wanna know what grass is I want you to mow me
Here’s the song.
____________________________________________________________________________
If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!
5. Have fun!
#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com
Veil – #AtoZChallenge
There are days when I wish I could go out in public with a veil over my head: mostly Tuesday through Monday.
We conceal ourselves in so many different ways. From wearing makeup and masks, to hiding behind a computer screen. We pretend–to be more important, smart, beautiful, rich, compassionate–but to what result? In the end, our real nature always shines through.
So I’ve decided to come clean. Right here, right now. Are you ready?
Almost every night for the past three weeks I’ve been too tired to write interesting blog posts. There. I said it. I’m stubborn (because I HAVE to live up to this challenge) to the extent that I’d rather keep myself up at night and blather through my exhaustion than give up.
Tomorrow I’ll try to post earlier. Ugh.
Okay, here’s the real confession:
I’m trying to put you to sleep too.
I’m a terrible person.
***
You know what’s not terrible? My A to Z Challenge-inspired novelette, “All Good Stories”! It’s a romantic comedy about two best friends who belong together – Xavier knows it, but Jupiter has her eye on another guy: a shady character named Bob.
“A delightful read!!” ~ Cheryl Lynn Roberts, 4 stars, Amazon Canada review
“A short funny tale of two friends” ~ Ritu, 4 stars, Amazon UK review
“Quirky and charming.” ~ Bobby Underwood, #11 top reviewers on Goodreads – 5 stars
Click the picture to find it on Kindle, or get it on Kobo here: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/all-good-stories
Urban – #AtoZChallenge
The word “urban” is making me want to cheat and find another word.
Although, according to Merriam-Webster online, urban means “of, relating to, characteristic of, or constituting a city,” the word always conjures houses on the outskirts of a city. The city is where the businesses and apartment buildings are, and the residential areas are urban. No?
Or maybe I’m thinking of the suburbs. Which I suppose means sub (below) the urbs (the city).
I’ve only once lived outside of the urbs. On a farm where I shoveled horse poop for a living. Such a glamorous job, and yet so rewarding. I know some people just can’t stand to reside in the city, and some wouldn’t live in the country unless they were dragged there kicking and screaming. Me? I’m comfortable anywhere. I love the quiet and I enjoy the constant noise–mostly because after a while I don’t hear it anymore.
Then again, crickets are everywhere in the summer.
***
Want something to drown out the crickets? Then buy my A to Z Challenge-inspired novelette, “All Good Stories”! You won’t hear them over the sound of your own giggling.
It’s a romantic comedy about two best friends who belong together – Xavier knows it, but Jupiter has her eye on another guy: a shady character named Bob.
“A delightful read!!” ~ Cheryl Lynn Roberts, 4 stars, Amazon Canada review
“A short funny tale of two friends” ~ Ritu, 4 stars, Amazon UK review
“Quirky and charming.” ~ Bobby Underwood, #11 top reviewers on Goodreads – 5 stars
Click the picture to find it on Kindle, or get it on Kobo here: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/all-good-stories
lindaghill.com 