Life in progress

Tag Archives: wasting time


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My Quote of the Day

“Wine is good. Fruit flies are a nuisance.”

Me.


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Adventures on my Paper Route – is this the Ent?

I see faces in all kinds of places. This one is pretty easy to see:

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Nice face

I took this picture a little over a month ago while delivering papers, but it never seemed interesting enough to post.

Here’s another I took the same day:

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Death mask?

To me this one has more of a death mask feel to it. Do you see it? Maybe it’s just my crazy imagination.

And speaking of crazy imaginations…

I wonder if this first tree is unhappy about its new protrusion on its proboscis:

zit

big tree zit

Maybe to a tree this is bling. I think I’d want to sneeze.


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Why I write fiction

English: Icon for lists of science fiction authors (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was sitting here trying to come up with a blog post when I realized it. There’s nothing going on in my real life that’s worth writing. Whenever I came up with something, it was either something I want or something I imagine.

For instance, I was out on my paper route today, looking as I always do for inspiration, and there was this woman walking her dog. From a distance it was an odd looking dog, mostly because it was black and gray and the gray parts of the dog blended in so well with the sidewalk that parts of it were invisible. So, of course, my imagination took over.

What if I woke up one day and no longer recognized things that I should… as though I’d woken up in a different dimension. And what if I saw this dog on my paper route and *gasp* it had four legs?!? Everyone knows that animals all have two or three legs – except birds who of course have four. But imagine that! An animal that resembled a dog except it had FOUR LEGS!

So that’s my life. Dogs with four legs. Exciting stuff, eh?


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Don’t you hate it when that happens?

I’d decided that I would stop refreshing my damned stats page, I’d stopped looking for new posts to read in my reader and I’d even gone as far as turning off the laptop.  And the other laptop. And the PC.  So I’m standing in the kitchen, making my coffee for the morning and it hits me. The perfect subject for a post. Before I know it I’ve lost count of how many scoops I’ve put in the coffeemaker (I only have to count to seven, but there you go) and I’m trying to decide whether to a) get out a pen and paper and jot down the idea or b) turn a computer back on and risk staying up yet another hour to write – and refresh – and read.

So I’m writing this now (it’s 6:46pm) but all this happened to me last night. I failed to do neither a) nor b) and now I can’t remember what my brilliant idea was. But I still got a post out of the experience, so it wasn’t a total waste. 😛


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Just for laughs

Old Lutheran Humor
Church Bulletin Bloopers

·For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

·Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

·Evening massage – 6 p.m.

·The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

·Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

·Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.

·The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

·Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

·The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

·Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.

·Ushers will eat latecomers.

·The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

·During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

·Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on “It’s a Terrible Experience.”

·Stewardship Offertory: “Jesus Paid It All”

·Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

·Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

·22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

·The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

·Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

·The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

·This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

·Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

·Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing “Put Me In My Little Bed” accompanied by the pastor.

·Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.

·This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mr. Vassilas to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

·The service will close with “Little Drops Of Water”. One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in.

·Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.

·The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

·A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

·At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?”. Come early and listen to our choir practice.

·The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

·Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

·Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

·Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who is preparing for the girth of their first child.

·The Lutheran Men’s group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

·The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: ” I Upped My Pledge-Up Yours.”


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Adventures on my Paper Route: Why did the hen cross the road?

Chicken’s eye view

So there I was, standing on the curb, waiting as I do every day to cross one of my town’s main thoroughfares. It’s not a particularly wide road, nor is the speed limit fast, but it’s busy enough that I have to wait most days. Today there was only one car coming, or so I thought. I was poised. I made the decision to cross.

Now, you know when your body is ready to move and suddenly you realise that maybe you shouldn’t let it? I didn’t see the other car. It wasn’t that close behind the one I did see, but it was close enough to make me hesitate. What it did was make me twitch. I had to make a split second choice. Stay or go. But my body was already in motion — so I ran!

Obviously I made it across the road — I’m here to talk about it. Had I been younger it would have been a little thrill. Since, however I’m at my age it was an adrenaline rush I’m still recovering from.

So why did the hen cross the road?

To feel like a spring chicken 🙂


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Adventures of my Paper Route

Image

The squirrels have been busy

It happens while we sleep. The squirrels — the most talented of them at least — sculpt likenesses of themselves around the neighbourhood.  Here are two kissing. They will be the skinny ones that have no time for nut gathering, just in case you’re wondering which ones to look out for.


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Blogging is better than food

Of this, I am now certain. Please bear with me.

In an email to my mate earlier today I wrote the following:

So I’m procrastinating right now. I should be delivering papers but instead I’m reading. What, you ask? Blogs. Anything that’s short enough that I don’t feel as though I’m actually getting into something. Because that would be serious procrastinating rather than the ‘I can stop doing this at any given moment because it’s short’ procrastinating. Hey, that sounds like a blog entry, doesn’t it? I may just copy and paste later.

And now that I have another million and one other things to do, what am I doing instead? You get the idea.

While I was walking around the block delivering my papers (yes, I did finally do them) I thought more about blogging and the effect it has had on me since I started a little over a month ago. It’s addictive! It keeps me up at night and better yet, gives me something to think about when I’m delivering papers! Hey, it’s sapping my energy! And for energy, I need… food! But do I? Not as much as you might think. I’m just a teensy bit overweight.

So then why is blogging better than food? (I had to get around to it sooner or later.)  Before I discovered this wonderful way to avoid the things I should be doing, I would graze. Procrastination meant weight gain.

Therefore I triumph in the logical conclusion that blogging is indeed better than food.

At the very least, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.


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Wasted Time

To rest alone within leisurely time
A well wasted space of unhidden bidding
To take up the taste of weightless encumbrance
The hours tick by without lifting a hand.

The eons of thoughts which pass through this pencil
When sitting in crowded rooms filled with the wares
Of life’s inspiration in hot bodied persons
They see me, they don’t. Invisible I write.

I wonder if they are as curious as I am
To know this lone figure in a sea of companions
Appear to be wasting my time in hot coffee-
filled dreams of a writer in idling waste.

What of my poems, my stories, my scribbles
Are worthy of readership blessed by the critics
When sit here I sit and I write about nothing
For nothing can come of my time wasted hand.

My mind it keeps turning and churning out lead
From my Bic #2 of black and of purple
The people ignore me by diminishing plate-fulls
My cup runneth over, my coffee refilled.

Where was I? Oh yes, I am here wasting time
My ears filled with droning of foreign speech convos
The lead leads to dullness, the clock I hear ticking
Is life passing by through my time withered grasp.

But time has no meaning in this little cafe
Christmas cake scarfed back in March by my side
And perfumes of women that drown out the noises
Of plates hitting forks hitting dentures, my turn?

Not yet. I sit with my pencil and bang out a poem
The stares and the glances ignored by my will
The writer within me strains hard to the surface
But still I write nothing, time wasted, again.

@Linda G. Hill

March 2005