Life in progress

Monthly Archives: April 2016


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Kindness – #AtoZ Challenge

Though my son, Alex, observes much more than most of us in the family do, there’s at least a quarter, if not half, of what the rest of us perceive that he misses, being Deaf. While we hear things that go on around us without having to see them, (right now there’s a car going by with a rattling trailer on the back, and my other son, Chris, is coughing upstairs in his room) Alex’s world is quiet. He only knows what is in front of his face. I know this, because I often accidentally sneak up on the poor kid and scare him out of his erps.

I think of him in his own little world, not knowing what’s going on around him, and I find it natural that we end up calling him, “Your Majesty.” He’s self-centered in a way that makes sense. And yet he still finds a way to be in tune.

That he has compassion, even though I’m not able to explain to him what compassion means, tells me that teaching by example goes so much further than speaking. Openness begets openness, caring begets caring, and love begets love. This, unfortunately, can also be said for close-mindedness, rejection, and hate. To me, it speaks in volumes about how we all need to behave around our children.

Kindness is as often shown in gestures as it is in words. We can express kind words to one another without meaning them, but the sincerity of a smile cannot be faked. Nor can the act of opening a door, or handing back a lost item that a person doesn’t know he or she has dropped. I’m happy to have not only been able to demonstrate these qualities to my son, but I’m grateful to have been able to expose him to other people who have as well.

alex valentine

My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex. To learn more about his beginnings in life, click here to go to my first A to Z entry.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Good News!

I can write a novel on the fridge now!

I got new letters! 2 packs of 72 each at Toys R Us in the US! I can write a whole novel on the fridge now!!

Well, as long as the whole thing is punctuated with exclamation marks (aka upside-down “i”s).

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NOTE: Pingbacks are not working this week. If you’d like to participate in the prompt, please manually enter the link to your post in the comments below. Thanks for your patience.

Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our new, very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

 


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Pingbacks

I contacted WordPress support yesterday to find out what was going on with the pingbacks. All the Happiness Engineer was able to tell me is that it’s just me. Everyone else’s are working. Mine are, in fact, not working in either direction – I pinged back to Dale’s site yesterday for the photo challenge and he never received my link.

So it seems WordPress doesn’t like me; your guess is as good as mine as to why. At the moment I’m still waiting for a developer to get back to me. I’m not holding my breath that it will happen before 2am when I post my next prompt, so if you plan to participate in One-Liner Wednesday tomorrow, I’m afraid you’ll have to manually enter your link in my comment section, so I and everyone else will see your post.

Apologies for the inconvenience. Hopefully this will get sorted out before Saturday and SoCS rolls around again.


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Jab – #AtoZ Challenge

My “J”-word is a bit of a stretch, but it’s the only way I could find to talk about an important subject without taking up another letter. So here we have “jab,” by which I really mean “point” and “poke.” Both actions are important in American Sign Language, more the former than the latter, however. Confused yet? I’ll explain.

Growing up we’re all told it’s rude to point. Pointing though, is an essential part of ASL vocabulary. You, me, he, she, and it, are all indicated by pointing. It took me a while to get over the ingrained sense of right and wrong; of needing to point but not wanting to. Now I do it all the time – and I get a lot of strange looks, particularly when Alex and I are out, pointing all over the place.

Poking, on the other hand, is a less-desirable way for a Deaf person to get someone’s attention. Alex loves to poke me with a sharply pointed finger, especially when he wants something he can’t have. Normally, a tap on the shoulder is used. Coming into physical contact with other people, even strangers, is natural in the signing world. It’s necessary. The other day in a coffee shop, I was watching a lady who I know is Deaf, trying to get through the line-up for the counter; she was on her way out. Her shoulder-taps were met with a mixture of surprise and, in one case, almost hostility. All she could do was smile and try to look friendly. The people in line had no way to know she was Deaf, and probably wondered why she didn’t just say, “excuse me,” like any civilized person would.

Alex is still small enough that he can get away with a lot of things in public. He smiles at people and they smile back. He touches them and it’s innocent; he’s still only a little above four feet tall. I’m not sure he’ll grow much more in height, but he’s bound one day to grow facial hair. When that happens, he’ll go from cute to uncivilized in the eyes of society. It’s difficult, even for a mom, to explain away.

My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex. To learn more about his beginnings in life, click here to go to my first A to Z entry.


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K’lee and Dale’s Cosmic Photo Challenge 3 (A First for Me)

Odaiba, Tokyo, Japan December, 2014

Odaiba, Tokyo, Japan December, 2014

 
I took this picture at sunrise from my hotel room. The original was far more faded; I brought up the saturation to make the colour of the sun in the reflection of the windows pop. I only wish I had been able to get a clearer shot. You can see how long the shutter was open by observing the lights of the cars going by on the highway.

The three, in this case, (because the theme today is “three”) are the two buildings and the cars. Yes, a bit of a stretch, but it’s the best I could do in a pinch.

P.S. If anyone knows of any good (and cheap or free) programs for altering photos, I’d love to know. Thanks!

This post is part of K’lee and Dale’s Cosmic Photo Challenge. To join in the fun with your own digitally altered photo, click here:  https://diaryofaninternetnobody.com/2016/04/11/klee-and-dales-cosmic-photo-challenge-4/


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Interpreters – #AtoZ Challenge

I remember the first time someone called me using TTY plus Telephone Relay Service. The way it works is, the telephone company has a hearing interpreter with a TTY (teletype) device between the hearing person and the Deaf person. On the Deaf person’s end, they are either watching the interpreter sign on screen, or reading on the device. In between, the interpreter is listening and signing or typing, and on the hearing person’s end, he or she must speak and then say, “Go ahead,” when finished. It’s a complicated, and at first awkward, but effective method of communicating.

I also remember the first time I spoke to a Deaf person through an interpreter face-to-face. Again, awkward. First, I wasn’t sure where to look. When the Deaf person signed to me, I was able to watch and listen to the interpreter at the same time. But when I spoke, the Deaf person watched the interpreter. I wasn’t sure who I should be looking at. I’ve since gotten a bit more used to it. Second, I never know how fast to talk. I get caught up in watching the signs, and when I catch one I know, I realize how far behind the interpreter is, so I slow down. …or is he/she behind? There’s the backwards grammar to take into consideration too.

I didn’t have to deal with any of this until we moved to Ontario and Alex was enrolled in a Deaf school. Appalling anecdote, that was part of what actually led me to move:

It took about a year to finally have a speech and language pathologist visit Alex at school. It was a regular, English-speaking public school in the Province of Quebec. He had a wonderful EA working with him there, by the name of Lise. She was with him all the time. She spent her lunches tube feeding him and playing with him, and she actually came out of town to visit the Deaf school with me before we moved. Lise is hearing, however, and was at about the same level of American Sign Language I. We both knew it wasn’t enough for him to grow, so enter the speech therapist to advise on whether or not the school should fund an interpreter for him. The pathologist’s final assessment, after watching him in class a couple of times was that he couldn’t benefit from an interpreter, because at his current level of ASL, he wouldn’t understand the interpreter.

…

It’s like saying adults shouldn’t speak to hearing toddlers because they won’t understand anyway. How does one learn a language unless they are taught by someone who knows more, and is able to expand their vocabulary by example? And this from a woman whose job it was to teach language!

So we moved.

Since then, I’ve been muddling along, learning from what Alex brings home from school more than anything. We learned together, him by being exposed to ASL daily, and me from being exposed to my son. But we’re slowly getting back to needing an interpreter, and I don’t think it will be long before I have to have one at doctor’s appointments. He can now understand most things that are said in the adult world. At fifteen years of age he is still quite far behind mentally, but he’s a teenager. One of the most difficult things for me is knowing where his actual level of understanding lies. I have to rely on teachers for that. It’s like hosting a foreign student who I gave birth to, sometimes.

Alex balloon

My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex. To learn more about his beginnings in life, click here to go to my first A to Z entry.


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#SoCS – Half

I don’t know why I keep buying books. It’s a compulsion. If I spent just half my time reading all the novels I have on shelves, Kindle, and Kobo, I’m sure it would still take me a year to get through them. And don’t even get me started on my to-be-read list of books that I haven’t bought yet.

As it is lately, I seem to be spending half my time on the computer, whether the laptop or working on my novels. I haven’t done a lot of real writing lately, which is why I’m trying to post every day on my fiction blog. …where I don’t have even near half of the traffic I get here. I wonder why that is? I suppose if you click my gravatar it brings you here, rather than there. Have you clicked your gravatar lately? Where does it go? Actually, your gravatar is only half of it. When you click your picture it should take you to a site where you have all your information, and your blogs lined up in a neat clickable row. If you click your name (we’re talking about in the comments section of any given post where you’ve commented, now), it should take you to your main site. It’s frustrating when I want to find someone’s blog but their information isn’t available.

I’m half of a mind to complain to WordPress about the pingbacks not working, but complaining never seems to do anything. I wonder if their own Daily Post blog is suffering, since it relies on the same idea of pingbacks. Anyway, if it’s not fixed half-way between now and Wednesday, I’ll go through the process of bitching about it.

That’s at least half of what I can come up with at the moment. The other half would be forcing it. Happy weekend, all, and don’t forget to manually add your link to the prompt post this week!

SoCS badge 2015

This post is part of SoCS. Click here and join us today! https://lindaghill.com/2016/04/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-916/


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Pingbacks are NOT Working Today #SoCS

An important announcement for everyone participating in Stream of Consciousness Saturday: There are no pingbacks! I have no idea what’s going on with WordPress – I’ve checked my account settings, and nothing has changed. I should be receiving your pingbacks, but I’m not.

If you’ve already written a SoCS post, please come back and enter your link in my comments here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/04/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-916/

If you plan to write a SoCS post, please make sure to comment on the above linked post, and include the link to your post in your comment.

Thanks for your cooperation. And no thanks to WordPress for the latest glitch. :/


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Hearing world – #AtoZ Challenge

Deaf people have to survive in a hearing world. This is a fact. If there are such things as Deaf stores, and Deaf hospitals, I don’t know of them. There are, of course, Deaf people working in public service positions–my bank has a Deaf teller–but it’s uncommon.

As the parent of a Deaf child who is growing up and will one day, hopefully, be independent, the fact that my son will out alone in a society that views him as different, is a concern for me. Alex is at a disadvantage, having not grown up exposed to his first language as most children are. Immersion into American Sign Language didn’t happen, and so by the time he reached the Deaf school that he now attends, he was years behind many of his peers. But at the same time he has an advantage. He’s already learned how to communicate, somewhat, with the hearing. He has an innate understanding that he needs to demonstrate what he wants without being able to verbalize. He has adapted.

On the flip side, I remember a story that my ASL teacher told us when I was in my third year of classes. He was the only Deaf member of his family. He told us of family gatherings and dinners when he was a child and through his teenage years when he would sit and eat, and no one would talk to him. They were all busy yammering away; he said he felt completely isolated. Consequently, he moved away–right out of the province–and had stayed away since. I can’t say he hated his family, but he seemed extremely bitter.

I fear this happening to Alex. I try my best to translate for him during dinners, but it’s difficult. First, keeping up with the conversation in ASL when my vocabulary isn’t up to par, and second, signing with a knife and fork in my hands. Despite this, he seems well-adjusted. I do what I can to make sure he’s included, at least in discussions that concern him. It’s more difficult when I’m talking with someone about something that doesn’t – with hearing kids, boring adult talk is naturally tuned out. Again, he’s at a disadvantage – if he was part of a Deaf family, he’d know to ignore it without having to be told it doesn’t concern him. On my end, I’m constantly saying to him, “It’s nothing.” I can only hope that he can tell by my body language and facial expression that I’m being sincere, and not just dismissing him as unimportant.

Alex, 2009. His usual charming self.

My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex. To learn more about his beginnings in life, click here to go to my first A to Z entry.


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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS April 9/16

Edit: Pingbacks are not working today! (Saturday, April 9/16) Please manually include your SoCS post link in the comments below.

Well, all is back to normal after your unfortunate scare of last Friday. Sorry, but I couldn’t resist. 😀 The internet won’t tell me when April Fools Day will fall on a Friday again, but I believe you’re safe for at least another five years. Just time enough for you to forget… 😉 Anywho, it’s time for your Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt! I’m going to do my bit again to potentially help you out if you’re participating in the A to Z Challenge. Here’ your prompt:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “ha.”  Use it as a word, or find a word that starts with those two letters. Enjoy!

After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at this week’s prompt page and check to make sure it’s here in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post. Anyone can join in!

To make your post more visible, use the SoCS badge! Just paste it in your Saturday post so people browsing the reader will immediately know your post is stream of consciousness and/or pin it as a widget to your site to show you’re a participant. Wear it with pride!!

SoCS badge 2015

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!