Life in progress


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#SoCS – In Desperation

Last night I had a dream–scratch that, a nightmare–that Donald Trump was my doctor.
Highlights:
-where did you buy your license to practice?
-no, I don’t need a pelvic exam today, thanks
-the question I had but didn’t want to ask: if you become president, won’t you have to move to the U.S. and give up your practice?
After the appointment he walked me out to my car and planted a kiss on my lips to say goodbye. Needless to say, this one’s going to haunt me for a while.
Bleh.

I’ve been battling a headache all day. The above quote is copied and pasted from my personal Facebook page – and yes, it’s a true story. I’m blaming the headache on that. Or the weather or something.

In desperation to find an excuse: okay, it’s not really desperation. But I’ve been contemplating all the stress in my life and all I have to do (read: all the things I’ve put upon myself) and much of it, I think, is due to desperation.

I haven’t had an income, other than my paper route and I’m not even doing that anymore, in the last sixteen years. Desperate as I am for a career, I’m taking editing courses. Hoping to get some freelance jobs, though maybe not until the new year. I’m desperately trying to finish the editing on my other novel, so I can get that published. I’m desperate for the sanity to be able to do all these things… so I’m planning to do NaNoWriMo this year. Yes, just what I need – to force myself to write 1,667 words a day for a month.

Writing it out, I can see much of my desperation is due to money, or lack thereof. But not necessarily just now. I need to secure my future. If my kids ever decide to move out and I lose the money I receive from the government to look after them, with their disabilities, I’ll have nothing at this rate.

I really didn’t want to make this a rant, nor a pity party. Maybe I should have asked ol’ Donnie for some money to keep quiet about our doctor/patient relationship when I had the chance.

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This super scary nightmare post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to see how you, too, can join in the fun! https://lindaghill.com/2016/10/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-2916/