The word my thesaurus gave me today is “measurement.” The following is pure stream of consciousness writing. Unedited.  Enjoy.

The measurement of moo can vary. It might be simply moo, it may be moooo–I think it depends on the cow.

Or perhaps it relies on how hungry is the cow.

A cow who is famished may have a lengthy moooo, whereas a contented cow might have a moo. Does this mean an overstuffed cow gives out a mo?

Mo, the cow, lived in a meadow where the grass was very green. She was a lonely cow–all of her cow friends had gone off to less green pastures. Which meant they were shipped off to farms where they only served hay. Mo knew this because one of them, as she was going by in the back of a truck on her way from one hay-ish farm to another, yelled out, “YO! Mo! Thar’s hay in them thar hills!”

Mo was not a contented cow. She longed for a bull to call her own. She was fat from all the green, green grass she consumed on a daily basis, and she was very blue. Which was why she didn’t go with the other cows. No one wanted a blue cow named Mo.

The years passed, and Mo got fatter and fatter. Her only visitor was Flo, the lady farmer who looked after the farm. Every day Flo came to pat Mo on the head, and Mo would say “Mo,” and Flo would answer back, “Ho! Did you say ‘mo’? You’re supposed to say ‘moo,’ ya stupid blue cow!” and yes, Flo said this every day because she had no memory from one day to the next.

But then, one day, a bull showed up at the fence. It was a runaway bull from across the way, and he happened to be green.

“Mo,” said Mo when she saw him. She carefully approached the fence. She’d never seen a green bull before.

“Mooooo,” said the bull.

“Are you hungry?” asked Mo.

“I am,” replied the bull. “I’ve been walking up and down this road for days. My farmer doesn’t know I’m missing.”

“Oh dear,” said Mo. “Why don’t you hop over the fence and have some of my grass?”

So the bull did, and months later, they had a little brown calf whose name was Moo. And they all lived happily ever after. Except for Flo, who couldn’t figure out where the green bull came from and why all her cows were so stupid.

The End.

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