Life in progress

Tag Archives: lying


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I Know What I Want

There are people in the world whose words are consistent with their actions and there are people who say one thing and then do another. Okay yes, there are times that the former type lapse into the latter, just as I’m sure there are people who are almost constantly doing things contrary to what they say might be tempted to actually do what they say. But it’s the latter type I see as not really knowing what they want out of life.

Of the latter type there seem to be two sub-types, as it were. There are those who say they’re going to do something and then never do. (We’re all guilty of that occasionally though, aren’t we? I was going back to school in September… ha. Maybe next year.) And there are those who say they feel a certain way but their actions don’t match. Take, for instance, a person who says he wants to meet, in person, a friend who he met online. He might say, “I’d love to get together,” but then always finds an excuse not to. Or a woman who is cheating on her husband: at night she may come home and tell him she loves him, and would go to the ends of the earth for him, but the moment he leaves the house in the morning she’s having it off with the pool boy.

Lying to the people around oneself aside, the dishonesty in these kinds of actions must take a toll on the psyche. In the case of the woman – does she want the happy life she portrays with her husband? Or is freedom what she really wants? Likely she has no real idea, so she juggles both, possibly while she attempts to figure it out. Even in the less life-altering case of the man, the stress of having to keep up the appearance of wanting something he doesn’t really want (which is shown in his actions) has to come with some kind of cost. The cost is in energy and on the conscience.

I strive to match my words with my actions as much as I possibly can. I try to be honest with myself, even if I can’t always be honest with everyone I meet. (Of course that hairdo looks wonderful on you!) In being honest with myself and for the important things with other people, I feel that I am able to know what it is I want in my life.

Do you know what you want? What you really really want?


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Playing the “Dumb” Card

I admit it: sometimes when I want something I’ll play stupid to get it.

Take for instance the laptop battery that I’ve been waiting for since May from Best Buy. They screwed up once and in return promised me a free battery, but it’s taking forever to arrive. I’ve called them countless times on the matter but it never seems to go anywhere. There comes a point when I just get tired of explaining myself to everyone I talk to. Eventually my answer becomes, “I don’t know.”

When did we first order the part? the Geek Squad guy asks.

I don’t know.

I’ll look it up.

This, from my perspective is a good thing because a) it forces them to admit they’ve screwed up somewhere and b) it means they’re actually looking at the problem rather than just listening to me complain while they gaze around the store at the pretty girls looking at iPads and/or pick their noses.

Then there’s my newspaper, which was cut off today because I got a new credit card and didn’t call them to give them an updated expiry date.  So I call them to ask why my paper didn’t come.

It looks like all we need is your payment information. Did you not get a notice in the mail?

I didn’t see one. (I’m of course lying.)

Oh, well I’ll update that for you today and  get a paper out to you right away. I’m not sure why your carrier didn’t mention it to you.

I don’t see my carrier. (Again, blatant lie. I AM my own carrier. I don’t, however, have a lot of mirrors in my house…)

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Don’t let it happen again. (Okay, I didn’t really say that, but what fun it would have been!)

I’m not a liar when it comes to anything else, but I’m certainly not beyond acting like an idiot when it comes to dealing with company’s bureaucracies. There’s nothing more annoying than being brushed off when you pay good money for a service: you shouldn’t have to fight for it if you’re paying for it!

Am I alone in this practice? Tell me you’ve done something similar. Please.

 


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Shhh! Don’t Tell!

I’m an excellent person for keeping secrets. Unfortunately, I’m a horrible liar. Unless it comes to my mother, in which case I’ve been practicing since I was four and had it down to an art by the time I was a teenager, I blush, I look the other way, I avoid eye contact… I do everything in the book that will show anyone with an ounce of observational skills that I’m not telling the truth.

Is it a good idea to entrust a bad liar with a secret? If the person you’re confiding in knows your deepest darkests, and they also know, say, your spouse, do you hope that somehow they will suddenly find the ability to not blush, or simply avoid your loved ones lest they give you away?

I’m finding myself confronted with these issues, not in real life, but because of my writing. My plot is so thick with secrets at the moment, that not only am I having a hard time keeping track of who knows what, but I’m finding it difficult to not give things away to my reader.

I actually studied the body language of people who are lying, just so that I could write a more believable liar. In this, I’ve found the perfect way to tell when my kids aren’t telling the truth, and how I, myself, can become a better liar.

But back to telling secrets. Everyone has them, whether they’re big like infidelity or small like you think someone looks horrible in their favourite suit. Fibbing is a necessity when it comes to secrets. Secrets in fiction can be the backbone of a story.

Can a person who is a bad liar even have secrets? I sometimes feel as though I’m an open book, for all to see. Maybe that’s why secrets are prevalent in my fiction – practice for real life. I’m puzzling it out on paper.

Do you suffer with this dilemma, either in fiction or in real life with yourself or someone you confide in?

Tell me. Tell me your secrets. I won’t tell anyone, promise. 😉