Monday, August 27th, 5:00pm
Alfred and Hester
Hester: Now you’ve got your Viagra, what are you going to do when we get home?
Alfred: Obviously anything to get out of ironing my own shirts.
Next stop: Tuesday, August 28th, 5:00pm
Tag Archives: marriage
351. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right
Note: Strong language
Friday, August 17th, 5:00pm
Bob (and Robin)
Bob sits at the window. Robin takes the seat beside him.
Bob: You don’t look very happy.
Robin: I’m not. I got stood up. By a pastor of all people.
Bob: Really?
Robin: Yeah. My old pastor retired. We’ve got a new guy apparently. I had an appointment for marriage counseling.
Bob: Well congratulations. When are you getting married?
Robin: In three weeks. And if I don’t see the pastor, he won’t marry us. Look; (turns on phone and shows him appointment) there it is, right there.
Bob: Your appointment’s for Saturday. Today is Friday.
Robin: No it isn’t.
Bob: I assure you it is.
Robin: No way. (takes closer look at phone) Fuck.
Bob: I don’t recommend you do that before you get married. But we’ll talk about that tomorrow, shall we?
Robin: (frowns) Beg pardon?
Bob: (holds his hand out to shake) I’m Bob, your new pastor.
Next stop: Saturday, August 18th, 9:00pm
314. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right
Wednesday, July 11th, 5:00pm
Devin and Dale
Devin: So I was late for work this morning.
Dale: Oh yeah? How come?
Devin: I forgot to turn the dishwasher off before I left the apartment, so I had to turn around and go back.
Dale: Doesn’t your dishwasher turn itself off?
Devin: No. If he runs out of dishes at our place he goes to the neighbour’s.
Dale: Errr …
Devin: My husband’s a little compulsive that way.
Dale: So how do you turn him off?
Devin: Hand him the vacuum. He’ll still be doing it when I get home tonight.
Dale: You must have a very clean apartment.
Devin: (sighs) Yeah. Especially if I don’t watch him on garbage day.
Next stop: Thursday, July 12th, 5:00pm
227. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right
Sunday, April 15th, 2:00pm
Yvonne and Sarah
Yvonne: I think Quinn’s fooling around on me.
Sarah: No way!
Yvonne: (nods) He came home yesterday with enough paint to do the whole house.
Sarah: So?
Yvonne: Three-quarters of the rooms are wallpapered.
Sarah: Hmm. I’d keep an eye on him if I were you.
Next stop: Monday, April 16th, 5:00pm
226. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right
Note: Strong language
Saturday, April 14th, 3:00pm
Quinn and Serge
Serge: Glad you came last night?
Quinn: (sighs) Yeah I guess.
Serge: Listen, bro. You got nothing to feel guilty about. It was just a little window shopping.
Quinn: Yvonne wouldn’t agree.
Serge: (shrugs) So don’t tell her.
Quinn stands.
Serge: Hey, where are you going? This isn’t your stop.
Quinn: No, but I’ve gotta get off. The paint store’s right there.
Serge: (laughs) Pussy.
Next stop: Sunday, April 15th, 2:00pm
224. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right
Thursday, April 12th, 5:00pm
Quinn and Serge
Serge: You up for a game of poker Friday night?
Quinn: No, man. I’m too tired.
Serge: Wife still on your case about painting the kitchen?
Quinn: I wish that’s all it was. Yvonne’s just friggin’ nuts since she’s been pregnant.
Serge: You should come to the game. Be a good way to escape.
Quinn snorts.
Serge: I got some cute honeys coming over.
Quinn: (regards him, thinking) I’ll let you know if I can get away.
Next stop: Friday, April 13th, 5:00pm
164. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right
Sunday, February 11th 1:00 1:20pm
Candice and Sandi
Candice: I can’t believe Madam called us in to work a double shift.
Sandi: We knew after the third movie came out the dungeon would get busier again.
Candice: (sighs) Yeah. Oh well. My favourite new client is coming in tonight.
Sandi: Justin?
Candice nods happily.
Sandi: Really like him, do you?
Candice: Kinda.
Sandi: I’m happy for you.
Candice: Thanks. So what’s going on with the preacher these days? Not working yet?
Sandi: Nope.
Candice: I’m surprised he hasn’t asked you to quit. Or have you brought him over to the dark side?
Sandi: (snorts) Whichever, I just wish he’d decide what he wants to do. I don’t mind being the breadwinner ‘n’ all, but he’s been miserable sitting around doing nothing ever since we got married.
Candice: Tell him to get involved with a group for wayward souls. God knows we get enough of those at work.
Sandi: The scared and the curious.
Candice: And now the Ana-wannabes.
Sandi: (rolls eyes) Yep. You may have something there.
Next stop: Monday, February 12th 5:00pm
160. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right
Wednesday, February 7th, 7:00pm
Quinn and Yvonne
Quinn: Now that you’ve been a couple of days without morning sickness, where do you want to eat on Saturday night?
Yvonne: I’d really like a steak … if that’s what you want.
Quinn: Sure. (smiles and takes her hand) I think we’re going to be okay, don’t you?
Yvonne: Yeah. Especially now my mother’s out of the hospital. I think the psychiatrist was a good idea. Thanks for arranging it.
Quinn: Maybe when she sees the baby she’ll accept him for what he is, and not just a sign she’s getting old.
Yvonne: I hope so.
Quinn: You’re sure you want to go to this shop we’re going to? With the baby and all?
Yvonne: I think so. It’ll be nice to have all the equipment for after the movie Friday night. You’ll be taking notes, right?
Quinn: Of course. (reaches into pocket) Oh, here. (hands her a paper) I got my collar size.
Yvonne: (smiles and takes the paper) Thank you Mr. Grey.
Quinn: My pleasure, Mrs. Grey.
Next stop: Thursday, February 8th, 7:00pm
158. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right
Monday, February 5th, 5:00pm
Alfred and Hester
Hester: When does the urologist want you to go back for the test?
Alfred: How should I know?
Hester: The receptionist gave you the little card, didn’t she?
Alfred digs into his coat pocket and pulls out an appointment card.
Hester: Give it to me then. (adjusts glasses) It’s in two weeks. A “flow test.” What the hell is one of them then?
Alfred: I don’t know. Maybe they want to see if I do better at getting it up with your sister.
Next stop: Tuesday, February 6th, 3:00pm
123. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right
Monday, January 1st, 5:00pm
Yvonne and Quinn
Quinn: Are you nervous?
Yvonne: Of course. It’s not every day I get to tell my parents I’m pregnant over turkey dinner.
Quinn: Well, we were going to have to tell them eventually.
Yvonne: (stares at him) Do you have any idea how hard it’s going to be telling my mother she’s going to be a grandmother? She’ll probably drop dead in the stuffing.
Quinn: She’s really that obsessed about getting old?
Yvonne: You’ve met my mother, right?
Quinn: Yeah. Do you want me to tell your dad and then he can tell her after we’ve left?
Yvonne: That’s the coward’s way out.
They stare at each other for three seconds.
Both: Let’s do it.
Next stop: Tuesday, January 2nd, 7:00pm
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