Life in progress


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#SoCS – Flipping Fabulous

All day, while I’ve been sitting on the couch with my laptop, editing a book, I’ve considered writing my SoCS post about books. About fabricating stories.

The day passed.

I didn’t finish my edit as I’d hoped to.

It was Sunday already by the time I decided to switch off the editing project and start on my SoCS post. So to start, I thought I’d make up my “F” badge for my “absolutely NOT A to Z” post.

And I tried to draw books.

Then I discovered that books aren’t that easy to draw in Paint 3D. They’re so difficult, in fact, that I had to write “BOOK” on my drawing of a book, so everyone would know what it was.

Flipping fabulous, I thought.

So I opened a bottle of wine. Which I am now drinking to celebrate a full day of work that I didn’t get finished, and a pathetic excuse for a picture of a book.

And this, ladies and gentleman, is why I write ’em and edit ’em and don’t draw ’em. Or at the very least, why I get paid to write ’em and edit ’em, but I don’t get paid to draw ’em.

Unless you REEEALLY want to throw me some cash.

But not coins … they hurt when they ping off the noggin’.

I should mention here that I’m open for suggestions for “G” words for Monday’s post. Leave them in the comments, if you please. I’ll take the first three–one per person, must be polite. The words, not the people. But polite people are good, too.

Last words of advice: never drink and blog.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

Okay, you can drink and blog if you want to.

This post is brought to you by the letter “F,” and by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the participating posts, and join in! It’s *hic* fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/04/05/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-6-19/

NOTE: This post is NOT a passive-aggressive plea for validation of my mad Paint skillz. It’s just my thoughts as I thunk ’em. … Holy Shamoly! “Thunk” didn’t get a squiggly red line under it!! I’m totally using that word from now on. Or maybe it’s just out of context …

Nope! Looked it up.

thunk

\ ˈthəŋk  \

Definition of thunk

 (Entry 1 of 3)

dialectal past tense and past participle of THINK

Okay, I’m finishing this post now. And I’m turning my editor brain off. Honest.


31 Comments

Three Times Lucky

This post has been brewing for about a week.  Since I can’t sleep tonight, here it is.

It was Tuesday. I know it was Tuesday because I took Alex to his weekly baseball game at 7pm. But it all started on the way to camp in the morning.

I was driving along the main strip during what passes for rush hour in this little city, late as usual. It’s a four-lane road, with two lanes going north and two going south, with lots of plazas, restaurants, car dealerships–you get the picture–on both sides. Anyhoo, I was traveling north in the left lane when I came to a line of cars stopped, waiting for someone to turn left. I was still going the speed limit, so I decided to go around them. I checked my rear-view mirror: absolutely nothing behind me. Checked my blind spot: nothing there either. So I put my blinker on to change lanes.  Just as someone pulled out of a driveway on my right.

Here’s a diagram: (I’m the one driving the purple space ship.)

Mad Paint Skillz Diagram 1

I managed to swerve and miss him, though I’m guessing he really slammed on the brakes. Close call number one.

Fast forward to the afternoon. I’d picked Alex up from camp and we were coming home.

There’s this one little awkward four-way intersection near my house with a two-way stop. I had to stop. I did. I looked both ways. I swear I did. I always look left first, then right, then left one more time because that’s where the nearest cars are coming from. Where the one I almost pulled out in front of that was coming down the street on the passenger side of my car, I have no clue. In my defense, it really is an awkward intersection. It’s hard to see both ways, AND I have this post on the side of my windshield that gets in the way.

Mad Paint Skillz Diagram 2

We both slammed on the brakes this time. And avoided a collision. Still, that was close call number two.

I KNEW there was going to have to be a number three. I just KNEW it. But, I got in the car anyway to drive Alex to baseball. I could have let my best friend, John, drive–he was coming with us anyway, and he’s a professional driver–but I didn’t.

How far from home did we get? About two minutes. Almost the same scenario as the morning, the difference being I was in the right lane this time, and the cars were stopped for a light.

I saw way ahead that there was construction in the right lane, so I decided to go around the loooong line of cars in the right lane. I checked VERY carefully – rear-view, blind spot, rear-view … Before I got a chance to change lanes, I saw a black SUV coming up fast behind me. He pulled the same maneuver I did in the morning–without slowing, he went around me and all the cars in front of me.

I said out loud to John, “Oh well, I guess I’m not changing lanes yet,” and at the same time, John said, “Oh shit.”

What happened ahead of me when I was concentrating on my lane change was this:

  1. The light had gone green.
  2. The black SUV saw this and didn’t slow down.
  3. A car in the long line of cars in the right lane stopped to let someone pull out of the Dairy Queen driveway on the right.
  4. Bang.

Mad Paint Skillz Diagram 3

If that black SUV hadn’t cut me off, I’d have hit the twit who trusted the other twit to let him out of the DQ. John saw it coming before I did, though I might have seen it too because I’d have had my focus front-ways, but would I have seen it in time? I doubt it.

I also doubt the guy who got T-boned enjoyed his ice cream very much.

Close call number three was three times extremely lucky.

 

 


29 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Ink

It occurred to me the other day that the biggest leap of faith for an editor has to be getting a tattoo.

I hart MOM


If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion


89 Comments

Insane or just a vivid imagination?

Okay, bear with me for it seems that perhaps no one saw my angry rose quite the way I did.

I drew you a diagram.

Here’s the original:

dead roseangry

 

and here it is again with my mad paint skillz added:

click to have a closer look... if you dare

click to have a closer look… if you dare

Now look at the original and tell me you can’t see the crazy-assed disembodied-headed dead rose that’s still sitting on my kitchen counter waiting to eat me for dinner.

Seriously, you can’t expect me to deal with this insanity alone…