Life in progress


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U is for Unceasing

Unceasing. It’s the word I’m stuck with today… Thinking about things that are unceasing.

For me there is a negative connotation to this word – unrelenting, constant, persistent, incessant… then again, to have these qualities may drive us to get what we want in life. Or drive us mad trying.

Even being unceasingly positive can be a negative thing – there must be a balance to everything, even if it’s weighed heavily to one side. Because eventually, it all falls back in the other direction, doesn’t it? How would we have hope in our darkest times otherwise? The phrase – when you’re at rock bottom there’s only one way to go: up – comes to mind and it’s true. Unless you go splat of course.

Wow, that’s depressing.

How about some good news? The unceasing pain in my shoulder is gone. It turns out the tendonitis that caused the frozen shoulder was a blessing in disguise. Having my shoulder frozen meant that I couldn’t aggravate my tendons because I couldn’t move. SO, now that the tendonitis is gone and with it, the excruciating pain, I can move my shoulder more and the more I move it the more unfrozen it gets. Yay!! I’m still going to need physio – I’ve got a long way to go before my arm will move normally and my muscle tone has gone to pot, but it’s a start! I can honestly say I’ll be working relentlessly to get myself back to health. Unceasingly even.

 


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What the medical community doesn’t tell you

Multiple times in the past few months I’ve been to see doctors who haven’t told me the whole story. I suppose there’s a fine line they need to tread – some patients don’t want to know. I, however, do not fall into that category.

The first was my optician. I went for a checkup where I was told I needed to make sure I wear sunglasses when I go out and to make sure I rest my eyes occasionally when I work on the computer. No problem, right? So a few weeks later I bought sunglasses and I during that time walked away from my screen once every couple of hours.

Then I went back to see the optician because I was still having trouble.

“Oh, you have the beginnings of a cataract,” she told me this time.

“I what?!?”

“Yes, that’s why I told you to wear sunglasses and to rest your eyes.”

Had I been told that in the first place, I might have been a little more diligent, don’t you think? I didn’t say those exact words out loud, but the answer to what I did say went something like, “I didn’t want to scare you.”

Right.

Next, my shoulder. As you know if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, I have a rotator cuff injury and tendonitis. I’ve been told by numerous doctors over and over not to push myself past my pain limit. Until today I didn’t know why. Wanna know why?

Apparently if I put too much pressure on my tendons when they’re swollen and inflamed they can snap. Break right in two. Then I’ll have to get into surgery within 24 hours or I can say goodbye to the broken tendon for the rest of my life. I was told by the doctor (a resident working under my family doctor) that if I hear or feel a snap I’ll see my arm swell as the muscle, free of being held in place, runs down my arm and pools at my elbow… Nice, eh?

Had I been told that in the first place…  See above.

Again, I understand there are people in this world who wouldn’t want to know these things about their bodies. But there’s nothing quite like the worst case scenario to keep a person from doing something stupid out of ignorance.

Our physicians’ job is to help us heal. It’s also within their power to protect us from ourselves by either giving us the information we need – or not. Communication is of the utmost importance. If we want to know, we have to tell them and they need to be honest; it goes both ways.

Would you want to know? Because if not, I strongly suggest you follow your doctor’s instructions to the letter. You don’t know what kind of pain you’re in for otherwise.


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My Beloved Paper Route

It’s been a busy day, starting out with an appointment with Catherine, my occupational therapist. I was happy to go – my tendonitis/rotator cuff injury has been getting steadily more painful. It’s at the point now that I can’t properly wash the hair on the right side of my head without supporting my right arm with my left. Getting dressed and undressed is something I dread, and don’t even ask about the jungle that is my right armpit. (I swear I have a nest of gerbils under there.)

So what does all this have to do with the title of my post? It’s like this: Catherine made a few suggestions concerning the flare-up I’m having in my shoulder (and now my entire arm) that included making sure I’m sitting up as straight as possible when I’m on the computer *sits up straight*, attending some aqua fitness classes in a therapy pool, and taking a temporary leave of absence from my job. Yes, my job. My beloved walk around the block every day.

It’s not that the walking is doing me any harm except that in the snow, with the possibility of slipping and seriously hurting myself, I’m walking hunched over in the attempt to be more careful about my footing. In essence, I’m making my shoulder worse. So I called my boss at the paper and left a message on her machine this afternoon. I’m still waiting for a call back.

The more I think about it though, the more upset I am at the prospect that I may get fired over this. It’s not the monetary loss, nor is it really even the fact that I do it for the exercise. The truth is, this stupid little job actually gets me out to talk to people. It makes me a part of the community in a way nothing else does – because I’m really not a part of it. My work, my family, and my friends are all here in my home. I have one friend on the outside of these walls and that’s it. Without my paper route I’m no longer part of the work force. I have no worth as a citizen. I’m merely raising my children and, without the meagre $20 per week I make off the paper, am completely dependent on the system.

While I await the verdict from my boss I’ll contemplate what I should do. Perhaps I can make a living off my writing… oh no, wait. Catherine also told me to get off the computer. It, too, is hurting my shoulder. Speech to text? Anyone tried it?

I’ll keep you all posted and let you know what’s happening. Now I have to run. I think the gerbils are thirsty.