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Tag Archives: weird


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Friday the 13th – I Met the Grin Reaper at Starbucks

The Grin Reaper (typo intentional) stopped by my table at Starbucks tonight and introduced himself. Seriously – he reminded me of the childhood image I have of Beelzebub.

I was sitting at a table working on my laptop, minding my own business and drinking a grande Mocha. Channing Tatum sat two tables away, alone, (yeah, unlikely, right? Okay, so it wasn’t him, but the guy I sat beside was the spitting image) facing the same way I was, doing something on a tablet. Our backs were to the wall. Here’s how it went:

Grin Reaper: (approaches my table and smiles, saying nothing)

Me: (looks up at him and tries not to shrink back)

Grin Reaper: (finally) Hello. I think we’ve met before.

Me: I don’t think so.

Grin Reaper: (holding out his liver-spotted hand) I’m Leo. Nice to meet you.

reverendkane

 

 

 

Me: (shaking his hand and deciding not to give my name) Nice to meet you too.

Grin Reaper: (smile slips) Do you come in here often? (smiles again)

Me: No, maybe once every six months.

Grin Reaper: Hmm. I sit in the mall every day and read four newspapers. And I play the piano at nursing homes so I keep busy.

Me: (staring at his crooked yellow teeth as he grins creepily) That’s nice.

Grin Reaper: (looks down at my laptop) What are you studying?

Me: Oh, I’m just writing.

Grin Reaper: You’re a writer? I’m a writer too. I write about psychology, sociology, neurology, philosophy, religion… (and he named off about four more things)

Me: Well that’s interesting.

Grin Reaper: (stares and smiles)

p2

 

 

 

 

Me: Maybe I’ve seen you in the mall…

Grin Reaper: Yes, that’s probably it. (stares and smiles)

Me: Yyyeah…

Grin Reaper: (stares and smiles)

poltergeist2

 

 

Me: (probably 20 seconds have passed but it feels like he’s been sucking on my soul for an hour) Well, it was very nice meeting you.

Grin Reaper: Yes, nice meeting you too. (smiles and retreats)

Beside me, Channing turns to look at me, smiles and shakes his head. I look back, eyes wide, one eyebrow raised, with a frightened look on my face. Channing laughs.

I swear to God, Leo looked EXACTLY like Reverend Kane (Julian Beck) from Poltergeist 2. About 90 years old, thin, and well over six feet tall, he walked with the stoop of a man above average height. He wore a three piece suit and a hat, and had the most God-awful creepy look about him, as though he wanted to tell me how my life is going to end in grisly yet accurate detail.

Had I had my wits about me, I’d have asked Channing if that really happened. In fact, I’d have asked for his number as well – you know, just because he’s my only witness – so I could get another reality check at 2am, after the nightmare I’m sure to have tonight.

I may never go to the mall again.


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The Big Bang Theory

Okay, so I was sitting on my bed this morning at 6:17 (I know this because I was changing the clock on my old cell phone that I use just for its alarm, only it didn’t go off because I forgot to change it after we went to Daylight Savings) and I was already mumbling miserably to myself because I got up late, when there came a big bang from above.

Now one thing you have to know is that my house started off as a bungalow, once upon a time, but someone decided a two bedroom house wasn’t big enough, so they opened up the attic and put three more bedrooms and a half bath up there. I sleep in one of those three bedrooms. So the bang I heard was pretty close to where my ears were located at 6:17 this morning.

Since there are no windows upstairs on the front of the house to look out of, I came downstairs to look outside, half expecting to see a massive tree branch sitting on my front lawn. And yet nothing has disturbed the pristine condition of the snow. Failing that, and not wanting to put my boots on and trudge outside in my pjs, I texted my friend John, who was on his way over for breakfast to ask if he could look up and see if there was anything still sitting on the roof.

He came in and the conversation went something like this:

Me: Did you see anything?

John: Nope. There’s nothing up there.

Me: I wonder what made that noise then…

John: Could it have been an animal do you think?

Me: Well if it was a squirrel, someone must have flung it pretty hard.

John: And I guess you’d expect to see roadkill out there…

So there you have it. Our best guess at the big bang theory. Unless, of course, leprechauns have reindeer…


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Strange Occurrences and Other Sunday Randomness

I went with my mother and Alex to a small diner down the street today for lunch. The place was pretty busy, but nothing out of the ordinary. It seemed by the way they were dressed that most of the crowd had come from church.

So we sat there, minding our own business–my mom and I both had a toasted western each and Alex ate five noodles out of his dish of mac and cheese. We finished our lunch and the waitress came over to ask if there was anything else. I said no, just the bill please. You can imagine my shock when she said, “It’s okay, it’s taken care of.”

“Wwwhy?” I asked, totally stunned.

“The lady at the next table,” she pointed to the recently vacated table behind us, “paid half your bill and I took care of the other half.”

My mom and both said thank you, to which she replied, “No problem,” and walked away.

I left a five dollar tip.

What the hell? I have no idea who the lady was who sat at the other table. She didn’t even smile at me when she left, and I looked right at her. But the waitress too?

I don’t know whether to feel grateful or pathetic because I haven’t washed my hair in two days and wasn’t wearing my Sunday best.

Weird, or what?


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What, in the name of Inception, was that?

It all started on Sunday when I had a sore tooth. Actually, scratch that. It really started in 1996 when I went on Zoloft for six months, to help me get over post-partum depression. I don’t know for sure whether it’s a side effect of that particular antidepressant, but while I was taking it, I began to clench my teeth. It was like I constantly had tension in my jaw, and the condition exists even now.

So back to Sunday. My tooth hurt, and I’m pretty sure it was due to the clenching. Though the pain went away, I was thinking about going to the dentist.

Then last night, I had a dream. I was sitting in a dentist’s chair, totally doped up on nitrous oxide. I remember the dentist and her assistant talking while filling one of my teeth. I could feel it, a little, but I didn’t care.

When the dentist asked me if I wanted Novocaine for my second filling, I said yes. She told me that was probably a good idea, since the cavity was deep. Here’s where the freaky part begins.

As she put the needle in (which I didn’t feel at all because in my dream I was doped up) I realized I was going to sleep. At that point, I realized I WAS asleep and that I was dreaming… so with that in my head, I allowed myself to go to sleep in my dream.

It was the best experience I’ve ever had at the dentist. I highly recommend the nitrous… not that I’ve tried it in real life… at least I don’t think I have.

*cue Twilight Zone Inception theme*


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What the heck, Word Press?

I just typed three words into a new post. I saved it. It counted two words. This post counts twenty eight. There are actually twenty nine. Check it out.


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15/16 – Yesterday’s News – Horoscopes

Have you ever noticed that sometimes the horoscope in the paper is spot-on and sometimes it misses the mark by a mile? Well mine has me worried.

For about a week now, astrologer Eugenia Last has been telling me, and all other Aquarians, to watch our backs. The messages say we shouldn’t let ourselves be talked into anything we don’t want, to not allow anyone to manipulate us, and yesterday, not to trust anyone with our secrets.

A day of being told someone is out to get me is bad enough, but after my Incredible Adventure on my Paper Route the last week, and the comments that I just may be on my own version of the Truman Show, I’m starting to get a little paranoid.

Here's a random picture, to throw off whoever's out to get me

Here’s a random picture, to throw off whoever’s out to get me

Do you ever get weirded out by your horoscope?