Life in progress


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#SoCS – Things that are nuts

My list of things that are nuts:

1. Me for deciding to put my clocks back before midnight and declaring this post on time. (It’s still Saturday, damn it!)

2. Buying “mixed nuts” which, nine times out of ten, are 90% peanuts. Peanuts aren’t nuts, damn it!

3. My mother’s smoking habit. Or rather, the decision that was recently made by the management of her retirement home to charge old ladies with dementia $100 a pop for smoking too close to the building. That’s $30,000 per month if she forgets ten times a day!!!!

4. Nuts. Nuts are nuts. (Does not contain peanuts.)

5. NaNoWriMo. Which I am participating in this month. Or at least I used to think it was nuts to do it. But now that I’ve figured out how to write 1,667 words per day easily (sprints, particularly whilst depriving myself of my morning coffee until I’ve written 900 words), it doesn’t seem as nuts as it used to.

6. #5 is nuts. I shouldn’t have added it to the list.

7. Living somewhere where it gets cold in the winter. Then again, at least we’re not on fire. (Thinking of California, where things are really nuts. Take care of yourselves, Californians!)

8. Christmas carols and ads on the first of November. Calm down, damn it! We’re not going to forget it’s coming!

9. Wracking my brain in the attempt to come up with more things that are nuts when I really should be writing. Or sleeping!

2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley! https://www.quaintrevival.com/

This nutsy post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. (It’s still Saturday, damn it!) Click the following link to see how you, too, can join in the fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/11/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-2-19/


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The Big Bang Theory

Okay, so I was sitting on my bed this morning at 6:17 (I know this because I was changing the clock on my old cell phone that I use just for its alarm, only it didn’t go off because I forgot to change it after we went to Daylight Savings) and I was already mumbling miserably to myself because I got up late, when there came a big bang from above.

Now one thing you have to know is that my house started off as a bungalow, once upon a time, but someone decided a two bedroom house wasn’t big enough, so they opened up the attic and put three more bedrooms and a half bath up there. I sleep in one of those three bedrooms. So the bang I heard was pretty close to where my ears were located at 6:17 this morning.

Since there are no windows upstairs on the front of the house to look out of, I came downstairs to look outside, half expecting to see a massive tree branch sitting on my front lawn. And yet nothing has disturbed the pristine condition of the snow. Failing that, and not wanting to put my boots on and trudge outside in my pjs, I texted my friend John, who was on his way over for breakfast to ask if he could look up and see if there was anything still sitting on the roof.

He came in and the conversation went something like this:

Me: Did you see anything?

John: Nope. There’s nothing up there.

Me: I wonder what made that noise then…

John: Could it have been an animal do you think?

Me: Well if it was a squirrel, someone must have flung it pretty hard.

John: And I guess you’d expect to see roadkill out there…

So there you have it. Our best guess at the big bang theory. Unless, of course, leprechauns have reindeer…