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You Actually Can’t Do Anything You Want to Do

As a child I was led to believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I don’t remember when I discovered the truth about the latter two, but I do recall feeling betrayed by my parents when I reached into my stocking one Christmas morning and pulled out a gift with a price tag on it. At first I refused to believe it – they couldn’t possibly tell me such a blatant lie, these two adults who were constantly stressing to me the importance of telling the truth. But alas, we all know how it turned out. I’ve been wary of humans ever since.

Even worse than this, in my opinion, is telling kids that they can grow up to be whatever they want to be. I’m sorry, but if you stop growing when you hit four feet, you will not be a Harlem Globetrotter, nor will you be a famous opera diva if you can’t carry a note in a bucket. You will never be President of the United States if you were born in another country, no matter how much you want it.

I don’t care who you are – everyone has limitations. As adults, we learn what these are, and yet I still hear adults lying to generation after generation, promising children who can’t possibly know any better that they can do ANYTHING and be ANYTHING they want to be when they grow up. It’s total, utter bullshit.

In my own case, this on top of being told that everyone is good at something, left me feeling woefully inadequate. I wasn’t about to believe people who would tell me that I was a brilliant singer – these were the same people who told me there was such a thing as Santa. Hindsight shows me that in most cases, it’s just as well. Just look how many end up on TV talent shows only to be laughed at?  So if I couldn’t be good at doing something I loved, what could it be? I tried guitar, figure skating, horseback riding … and ended up a bookkeeper. I couldn’t even type that fast. It’s only in the last fifteen years that I’ve discovered my passion for writing.

But I digress. The incident that brought this whole topic up was a conversation I had with Chris, my Autistic eighteen year old, in the car on Sunday. He told me he wants to be a radio announcer. I know for a fact that he’s been told he can do anything he wants. Radio announcer isn’t one of them, nor will it ever be. He can barely get more than two coherent sentences out of his mouth on the best of days. So I get to be the bad guy. I have to tell him he can’t do it. I tried to explain to him that he needs to get hired in order to talk on the radio, but he can’t understand why anyone won’t just hire him.

I can say with all honesty that I was reluctant to let my kids to believe in Santa. It came down to the question of whether or not to allow them that wonder I remember feeling when I did believe. But I can also say I never really tried to convince them he existed.

I’ve always maintained a realistic outlook for their lives. I’ve been truthful in telling my eldest that he can do almost anything. There are many things Chris will never do and I’ve always tried to steer him towards what is feasible. Alex as well. He will certainly never sing opera – and none of them will ever be President.

I’m sure there are people out there who have become exactly what they wanted to be – we all knew someone who was incredibly gifted and knew what they were cut out for at an early age – but few of them actually turned out to be the superhero they always dreamed they’d be (yes, that was one of my dreams too).

If you were like me and Chris, and your aspirations were outside the realm of what is achievable, then perhaps you’ll agree with me. Or maybe you were more down-to-earth in your expectations. In either case, telling a child they can do or be absolutely anything is something I’ll never do and something I wish others would put a little more thought into. You never know whose dreams you’ll eventually be dashing.

This post was written for Opinionated Man’s Opinion Challenge. Find it here: http://aopinionatedman.com/2014/05/25/harsh-reality-challenge-got-an-opinion/


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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for SoCS May 24/14

It’s time again for your Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt! It’s been a week of having and lacking for me. It’s a condition that follows us all throughout our lives: the haves and have nots. If we’re lucky, neither stays with us for long. No one wants to be wanting, and yet if we had everything we wanted all the time, we wouldn’t know how to appreciate it.

This week your Prompt will be “with/without.” Choose one to write about or include both. Write about any subject you wish, as always.

After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at the prompt page in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post. Let’s have lots of participants again this week. Try it, it’s fun!

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people will come and read your post! The way to ping back, is to just copy and paste the URL of my post somewhere on your post. Then your URL will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. For example, in your post you can copy and paste the following: This post is part of SoCS:  https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/05/23/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-2414/  The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. Have fun!


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Social Media and Cover Art

It’s official – I think I’m everywhere now. I just signed up for a Pinterest account today. Since starting this blog, I’ve added my name to Tumblr, Goodreads and Twitter … times two.

I created my second Twitter account for my novel… which brings me to a request.

I will be looking, I suppose soon, for an artist to render the cover, assuming I go the self-publishing route. I need someone who can draw or paint a realistic portrait. The picture I have in mind is pasted across the header of my novel’s Twitter account, here: https://twitter.com/thegreatdagmaru (Feel free to follow me while you’re there. 😉 ) For two reasons I can’t use this actual picture: one, it’s not mine, and two, because there are changes I’d like to make to it. It really just gives a general idea.

Among a couple of other things, this is the photo that inspired the novel. In my mind, some rendition of it must go on the cover.

If you know anyone who might be qualified and interested in doing some cover artwork, please let me know in the comments. Again, not in my immediate plans, but I’ll certainly contact anyone who is recommended.

In the meantime, if anyone would kindly explain to me how any of the above social media sites actually work, I would be truly grateful. I have no clue what I’m doing anywhere but here on WordPress – and even that’s questionable.


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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for SoCS May 17/14

Friday is here once again and time for your Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt! Taking pictures with colour in them (finally, no snow and ice!) has made me contemplate vision for the past few days. And so I thought about making vision this week’s prompt. But then I thought, why stop there?

This week your Prompt will be the 5 senses. Pick one, or include them all, but somehow get them into your Stream of Consciousness post. Or heck, put none of them in there! Now there’s a real challenge!

After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at the prompt page in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post. Let’s have lots of participants again this week. Try it, it’s fun!

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people will come and read your post! The way to ping back, is to just copy and paste the URL of my post somewhere on your post. Then your URL will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. For example, in your post you can copy and paste the following: This post is part of SoCS: https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-1714/  The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. Have fun!


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I’m Following How Many Blogs?

Ah, I just love WordPress’s random glitches.

I have a request for my fellow bloggers. Please go into your reader, and click on the edit button for “Blogs I Follow.” (It’s at the top right corner of the page.) Then report back here and tell me if you follow the same number of blogs I do. According to mine, it’s 1.

Yes, one.

That’s wrong, by the way.

I’d like to see if it’s just me WordPress likes to mess with.


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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for SoCS May 10/14

It’s that time of the week again! Time for your Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt! I’m excited – are you? Of course, you are going to join in this week, right? I’m not sure what inspired my prompt this week. Perhaps it’s Mother’s Day which is coming up on Sunday. Here it is:

This week your Prompt will be ‘entrance.’ As a noun or verb, literally or loosely, you choose how to write your post around the concept.

After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at the prompt page in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post.

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people will come and read your post! The way to ping back, is to just copy and paste the URL of my post somewhere on your post. Then your URL will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. For example, in your post you can copy and paste the following: This post is part of SoCS: https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/05/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-1014/  The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. Have fun!


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Leading With the Right

The good news is, I’m getting some editing done. I’m allowing my imagination to wander and I’m picking up on my character’s vibes; getting their words from their mouths to the page, as well as their actions and their thoughts. Spending some serious concentration on my novel is something I’ve been trying to do for a while, though it’s not likely to last into the weekend. Unfortunately, my ex crapped out on me yet again, so I have the kids. Again.

The bad news is, it seems that all I’ve been able to do for the last couple of days is be creative. So while my right brain takes the lead I haven’t been able to come up with anything to write about on my blog. I’m all kinds of imagination and no real life. It’s a good way to be – I think so anyway.

Still, in a way it’s frustrating. When I’m “in” my novel, I walk around the block on my paper route and I see nothing around me. The absence of photos these past few days (is it weeks already?) is proof. I go into this trance-like state, sometimes even walking right past the houses I’ve been delivering to for two and a half years now, and having to back-track. My family has to say things to me three times before I understand the words. Which is interesting to me, because according to the research I just did, the left brain (that I’m not using very much of these days) is responsible for words, among other things.

I suppose I should be pleased about this. In my experience it’s hard to get to the point I’m at right now, able to use my creative side.  When I’m pulled out of it usually, by having someone interrupt me when I’m trying to write, I get so annoyed that it takes me hours to go back, if I can at all.

It must, however, be extremely inconvenient for anyone who tries to interact with me when I’m like this.  Wouldn’t you hate living with a writer? I would.

I must check to see if I start off with my left foot to go up and down stairs when I’m right-brained…


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Will We Become Like An Old Married Couple, WordPress?

In attempting to come up with something new to write here today, I realized there doesn’t seem to be much left of my present life that I haven’t already written about. In short, I’m running out of things to say.

I have this vision in my head of me and you sitting in a restaurant, eating a meal and looking around at the other couples – the young ones holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes, *gag* and the middle aged ones with kids, arguing over whether Bobby should get a new computer for his fourth birthday – and having nothing to say to one another. We’ve already talked about the weather and how bad the traffic was to get here.

Your teeth hitting the spoon every time you sip your soup is getting on my nerves.

Your memories of how sexy I was when we first met are fading even as the colour in your favourite cardigan does every time I wash it – it’s a horrible burnt orange and I’ve been secretly putting a drop of bleach in the water for about six months. I figure if it finally goes yellow you’ll stop wearing it.

Is that how things are going to end up with us, WordPress? Is it?

Come on, my dear. Let’s spice that plate of bits and bytes up, shall we? Before I have to face your dentures in a pot beside the sink in the bathroom every night.

 


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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for SoCS May 3/14

It’s the first Friday in May. Imagine that! Depending where you are in the world, either spring is blooming or autumn is falling upon you. Regardless, it’s the fifth month of the year, so in celebration of that, I thought Friday’s Prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday may as well reflect this changeable time of year.

This week your Prompt will be ‘change’ in any form or definition of the word. Play with it, and have fun!

After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at the prompt page in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post.

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people will come and read your post! The way to ping back, is to just copy and paste the URL of my post somewhere on your post. Then your URL will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. For example, in your post you can copy and paste the following: “This post is part of SoCS: https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/05/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-314/  ” The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. Have fun!


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What I Learned During the A – Z Challenge

survivor-atoz [2014] - SMALL

Well, I did it, on not one, but two blogs. When I started I didn’t think I’d be able to keep the fiction side of it up. I started the story of Xavier and Jupiter with the intention to make it a single short story – using just the letter A. That leads me to the first and possibly the most important thing I learned.

Someone once asked me what I wanted to do with my writing. She asked, “Do you want to be a writer of fiction? A journalist? A blogger? What do you want?” as though I had to choose just one. So I did. I said the first thing that came to my mind – I want to be a novelist. Until April 2nd I didn’t know why; I’ve only fully realized in the last 24 hours, that it’s simply what I do. Once I get a character in my head, I can’t let go. It’s why I have such a hard time with short stories – because there is always so much further I can take these people who live in my imagination than I can possibly write in, say 1,000 words. I think it’s also why, when I do write short fiction, it’s usually under 500 words. I just can’t get into it without writing a novel. And I would so much rather be writing a novel!

I probably had more fun writing what ended up being a fair sized novella completely off the top of my head every day until I hit about the letter “T” than I’ve had since NaNoWriMo. I love the challenge not knowing what will happen next until I write it.

Which brings me to the next thing I learned doing A-Z – that I find it infinitely easier to write every day when I have a prompt, even if that prompt is simply a letter of the alphabet and a theme. I shouldn’t be writing this post until May 5th when there is, by the way, a link party over at the A-Z Challenge site. But I had nothing else to write today.

The third thing the Challenge gave me, which wasn’t as much of a learning experience as it is simply a fringe benefit, is all the wonderful new blogs I found, and intend to keep following. *waves to the other A-Z’ers* I must also use this post to thank so many of my friends for coming on this journey with me. It was great, wasn’t it? I’m looking forward to all your follow-up posts!

The question, I guess, is what do I do with the things I’ve learned? I may compile my A-Z novella, polish it, and publish it. It might be a good way to get my name out there before I publish Dagmaru. I’d be happy to have any thoughts on this from those who have read it. I also know now that I need to concentrate on my novels.

As for not knowing what to write on my blog, I may seek out more prompts. If anyone has any good suggestions I’d love to hear them.

A-Z was a wonderful experience. It’s helped me to grow as a blogger and a writer. I can’t wait to do it again next year!