Life in progress

Category Archives: Funny


by 51 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – I take it back

Dear Jane,

I take it back. Apparently your redundancy was still not good enough for someone.

Love,

An editor who stands corrected.

Photo: A new bag of Janes’ brand frozen chicken nuggets on which is printed “Raw Uncooked Poultry.” The name brand is covered by a sticker which reads “Warning! This product is raw! Failure to cook raw chicken can cause sickness.”

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


by 27 Comments

#SoCS – Abashed

I’m abashed to realize that I am, again, late to my own bash.

Meaning my prompt.

‘Coz I ain’t gonna make it before midnight.

But I needed a break. Alex has finally gone to his dad’s for the weekend, for the second time this year, and I’ve spent most of the day either working or catching up on the things I needed to get done.

Did I get a break? I got a break from the pressure I usually have hanging over me … but to really take a break,

you’d have to bash me over the head and drag me away.

What I need is an honest to goodness vacation.

Somewhere I have no access to social media,

somewhere that the sky is blue, the beach is warm, the sea spread out before me with waves glittering under the sunlight,

somewhere I can close my eyes.

And drift away, without a care in the world.

Hell, I’d even take a dingy hotel room in the middle of a strange city at this rate.

Tokyo is strange.

Why did the angry chicken cross the road? To get away from KFC …?

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This rather late post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other posts in the comments, and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-9-19/

 


by 60 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Help wanted?

Dear Jane,

“Raw” and “uncooked” mean the same thing.

Love,

An applicant for the position of “editor”

Photo: Janes’ brand frozen chicken nuggets in a plastic bag on which is printed “Raw Uncooked Poultry.”

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


by 25 Comments

#SoCS – Celebrate the little things

The thing about anniversaries is, if you think about them too much, you’ll realize how much time has passed and not only that, how old you’re getting. A milestone is just that–a marker to indicate how many miles you’ve gone. And a reminder of the toll they’ve taken on you.

But it’s not all necessarily bad. (Keep in mind I’m typing as I think, so this could easily go wonky on me.) With the miles come experience. Experience is golden in that if you let it, it provides an excellent teacher. On the other hand, if you let it, experience can provide you with bitterness. Because, let’s face it, not all experiences are positive, and not everyone can find the good in a negative experience. It could be said that some have no positives … unless you really REALLY dig deep.

My question is, if we celebrate a little every day the little things that happen, no matter how small or positive or even negative, does it make the bigger celebrations less like milestones? Yeah, probably not. (See my “wonky” disclaimer above.)

Little things I’m celebrating today?

I’ve been clumsy. I almost dropped Alex’s $750 feeding pump (but didn’t!), and somehow I managed to get butter in the dog biscuit box and dog biscuit crumbs on my toast. Honestly? Not as good as marmalade.

The positive in this? I get to tell you about it. And hopefully in the telling there won’t be a third thing. …who am I kidding? There’s always a third thing. But it likely won’t be falling down the stairs and throwing my laptop over my shoulder in the process (the last majorly clumsy thing I did), because I learned to pay attention to what I’m doing when I come down the stairs.

Something to celebrate!

Me and my buddy Winston, taken five minutes ago. I really need to go on a celery diet.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This wonky post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday, which is officially celebrating its fifth anniversary today! Click the link to find all the other participants’ posts in the comments, and join in. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-2-19/


by 19 Comments

#SoCS – Critical Thinking

I don’t like criticizing people. Okay, maybe I do criticize members of my family and my best friend once in a while (shut up, John), but people I don’t know very well–people who might take my criticism the wrong way–I don’t like to criticize. Why not? Because I don’t want them to think I’m judging them. I like to think of myself as non-judgmental. Really, I don’t judge.

So what did I do? I chose editing as a career. Possibly one of the most critic-heavy jobs one can do. I criticize people’s writing for a living.

Maybe it’s being critical without being judgmental that’s the biggest challenge for me. And I do love a challenge. What I do NOT do is judge people’s writing. I don’t judge people on their ability to write a certain way, or on their lack of knowing the difference between “discrete” and “discreet,” for instance.

Look at it this way:

I can tell you your fly is open without judging you. That might be seen as criticizing your ability to remember to do your fly up, but still, I don’t judge you for it. I assume it was a mistake and that you’re not trying to flash me. My biggest reason for telling you is so you’ll do it up before someone comes along and laughs at you for it, less discreetly than I did.

The difference between that and editing? After all, ideally, I edit before someone indiscreetly points and at you and judges you for not knowing the difference between “discrete” and “discreet.”

The difference is, you don’t have to spend thousands of hours learning how to notice someone’s fly is down. You just have to have a good eye. Or a bad eye. Don’t judge me!!

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This very late, very non-judgmental post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Sunday Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other critics posts for this week. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/02/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-23-19/


by 44 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – In Sync

Scenario:

My best friend, John, is standing at the front door waiting to drive my eldest son to work. Eldest son is putting his boots on. Second son is watching TV, reading aloud everything he sees, as he does.

Second son: Spongebob. Ninja Turtles. Reboot.

John and I almost at the same time: That’s what your brother is doing.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at https://dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/

 


by 66 Comments

#JusJoJan 2019 Daily Prompt – Jan. 30th, and One-Liner Wednesday

When you realize that you said and heard many one-liners in the last week and you should have written at least one down because you’re gettin’ old and forgetful.

Here’s a random picture of summer, so I can remember what grass looks like.

Here are the general rules to follow for Just Jot it January:

1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. I’ll post the daily prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5), every day except for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness (SoCS) prompt–you’ll find that one on Friday morning at 9:30am. That daily post (i.e. this one) will be where you leave your link for others to find in the comment section. There will be a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday.

2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

(i) Make it one sentence.

(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.

(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

(iv) Enjoy yourself!

(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge.

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/

3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will appear at the top.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of the day. You can link any kind of jot back here. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link or close to your pingback.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.

8. Have fun!


by 12 Comments

#SoCS & #JusJoJan – Additionally …

When you saw the prompt for today, you might have wondered how you were going to fit AD (Anno Domini) into a post. I know I am. But what I just wrote works.

Additionally, you may wonder if you’re not a math-y person how you might fit in add. That works, too.

As for ads, this one never fails to crack me up.

I’m somewhat amazed at the fact that I’ve managed (with a little help of a few friends on occasion) to come up with a different prompt every week for almost five years. Having a document with a list of every prompt I’ve used helps me make sure I don’t repeat myself. Sure glad I started it early on.

There are so few things I’m organized in in my life. I tend to take things day by day–trying to plan anything usually ends up in disappointment unless I line up every detail far in advance. And even then …

I suppose it’s life with kids for almost everyone. Chaos is the norm and bonus points if everything comes together.

But as in “Whose Line Is It Anyway” and SoCS, the points don’t matter.

I’ve probably already posted this before, but it’s still the funniest thing ever. Don’t drink while you watch it, even if you’ve seen it before.

This post is part of Just Jot it January and Stream of Consciousness Saturday! If you’d like to take part or read the posts by the other participants, click the following link: https://lindaghill.com/2019/01/25/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2019-daily-prompt-jan-26th/

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/


by 55 Comments

#JusJoJan 2019 Daily Prompt – Jan. 23rd, and One-Liner Wednesday

Found in my doctor’s office:

Photo depicts a cartoon of a man in a doctor’s office. The doctor is pointing at an ex-ray hanging on the wall, saying, “I’m also concerned about that other thingy growing next to your whatchamacallit.” The caption reads: The second opinion was even worse than the first.

Here are the general rules to follow for Just Jot it January:

1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. I’ll post the daily prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5), every day except for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness (SoCS) prompt–you’ll find that one on Friday morning at 9:30am. That daily post (i.e. this one) will be where you leave your link for others to find in the comment section. There will be a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday.

2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

(i) Make it one sentence.

(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.

(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

(iv) Enjoy yourself!

(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge.

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/

3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will appear at the top.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of the day. You can link any kind of jot back here. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link or close to your pingback.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.

8. Have fun!


by 66 Comments

#JusJoJan 2019 Daily Prompt – Jan. 16th, and One-Liner Wednesday

Dedication:

“Can I get you anything at all? A piece of toast? Coffee? Tea?”

Offers to me from nurses in the emergency room and while I sat in Alex’s room in the hospital.

To all the nurses out there who take care of patients and their families, thank you.

Here are the general rules to follow for Just Jot it January:

1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. I’ll post the daily prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5), every day except for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness (SoCS) prompt–you’ll find that one on Friday morning at 9:30am. That daily post (i.e. this one) will be where you leave your link for others to find in the comment section. There will be a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday.

2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

(i) Make it one sentence.

(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.

(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

(iv) Enjoy yourself!

(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge.

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/

3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will appear at the top.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of the day. You can link any kind of jot back here. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link or close to your pingback.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.

8. Have fun!