I was going to write about sleep today, but since seeing two other people I follow with “Zzz” for today’s title, I decided to change my mind. I hate being unoriginal. So, zed it is.
But what does it mean?
For any of my American friends who might not know, “zed” is how we Canadians, and those in the U.K. and I believe Australia and New Zealand too (please correct me if I’m wrong), pronounce the last letter of the alphabet. Here we don’t go as far as to call a zebra and zedbra, but I have an aunt in England who does. We do call a spiffed-up Camero a Zed-28 however.
What does this have to do with writing?
It’s all tied in with spelling, and the way we do things differently. “Colour” and “color” are pronounced the same, but I have a hard time keeping the “u” out of my words. You may have noticed this about me. But what is the preference when writing a novel I know I’d like to sell south of the border? I believe most Canadian authors resort to the U.S. spellings. Still, I wonder how much it throws my American friends off to see all our added letters in words?
I can pull off 50,000 words with no problem. Yeah, okay – it takes me a while. But out of those 50,000 or 5,000 or even … whatever … the words that I get the most stuck on are those pesky noises that come out of our mouths and noses that there are no words for. In fact, it makes steam whistle out of my ears.
Image courtesy of pixabay.com
Some noises are much easier than others, admittedly. Onomatopoeia is a wonderful thing for sounds like banging, clanking and sneezing. The list goes on and on. But what about coughing? “Khe, khe, khe!” How about a sound of derision? “Pff!” Yeah, that’s easy. So many of them are so hard though!
I was quite proud of myself when I came up with the sound for blowing a raspberry. But then people didn’t understand what I was trying to say.
So I’m making it official. And feel free to use it any time. This, “Pthththththth” denotes blowing a raspberry.
As for yodeling? Pthththth. I’m not even going to try.
Writing sex scenes, for some authors, can be most intimidating. I’ve seen this mentioned time and again when reading other people’s blogs. Whether you enjoy reading about hot sex or not has little bearing; for one thing, you probably don’t know the intimate details of the novelists life, and so you can pretend or not that they did or didn’t actually experience what you’re reading. When you’re the one writing it, however, I suppose it depends how self-conscious you are.
Take the scenario where you’re sitting down to watch a movie with your parents and a graphic sex scene comes on the screen that you weren’t expecting. Awkward, right? If so, you probably don’t want your parents reading your steamy novel. My own mother used to get up and leave the room when I tampon commercial came on tv. I don’t think she’ll be down for reading my novel.
The question is, do you tone down your writing for fear of family and pointing fingers saying, or even thinking, I know what you’ve been doing, or do you just ignore it and omit from every conversation with your family that you’re a published author?
Writer mode is something I never go out of. It’s the perpetual state of creating, of observing, and of learning. I don’t see and hear things going on around me as much as I absorb them.
This came to me one day about a month ago when I was in the grocery store. I reached the end of the aisle where there was a display of bleach on sale, and I thought to myself, I’m going to need some of that to get all the blood stains out. In reality, I don’t have a pool of blood anywhere in my house – so where did the thought come from?
I wonder about this a lot. The characters, plots and scenarios manifest in my mind in so many different ways. Whereas most of my fictional dilemmas are solved when I’m completely relaxed, such as when I’m in the shower and not having to concentrate too much on what I’m doing, my initial ideas often appear when I’m trying to do something else. Possibly it’s the part of me that worries, what if? It’s those moments when I’m frantically looking for something to write on, or searching for a place to pull over so I can write a note on my phone so I don’t forget.
I feel kind of blessed that I have this seemingly infinite source of thoughts and ideas coming to me. I think maybe everyone does, to some degree. Whether one puts them to use is what makes the difference between one who creates and one who lives on other’s creations – not that there’s anything wrong with that, to quote Seinfeld. We all do it.
So which is it do you think? I ask all creators: artists, photographers, musicians, and writers of fiction, blogs and poetry, is there something in the ether which those of us who create are in touch with? Or is it something that comes from inside, that we’re simply more in tune with than other people?
Vocabulary is a topic that is close to my heart. From a very early age, speech and its nuances have been a major point of interest: although I was born and have lived in Canada my entire life, I was (I used to say) born with a British accent. My parents came to Canada eight years before my birth with their best friends another couple with whom they chose to emigrate from London. I was taught to speak by the four of them, and so even when I started school I sounded like I’d just gotten off the boat. I was teased relentlessly. To this day I retain some of my accent.
Through my school years, I paid particular attention to the English language. Grammar, even in speech, is a big deal for me. You won’t catch me saying ‘anyways’ or ‘ain’t’ unless I mean to, and never shall a double negative be uttered when I mean ‘no.’ And so the problem I encounter when writing dialogue is having to pay attention not only to what my characters say, but also to how they speak. Speech patterns vary from background to background, depend on education (sometimes) as well as geography, not only taking into consideration the setting of the story but where their parents lived even before they were born.
It dawned on me while I listened to a cashier in a store that though we come from the same province, ‘she don’t care what her grammar’s like.’ And I have no example of this in my novel. Vocabulary isn’t just the use of big or small words. It’s not even just about accents. Grammar is a huge part of who we all are.
Are you aware of the Good Samaritan Law? It’s in effect in many parts of the world to protect those who are trying to help someone experiencing life-threatening trauma, such as a heart attack, from being sued should an injury occur. And yet time and time again I’ve seen shows on TV where no one wants to get involved for fear of an unfair lawsuit. See it enough times and it sounds like it must be the truth.
Another classic is the case of the missing person. Here in Canada there is no waiting period, no matter how old the missing person is. As long as there is sufficient belief held by anyone, whether they’re a relative or a co-worker that someone genuinely is off their schedule and can’t be reached, the police will take the matter seriously. From what I’ve been able to find online, many parts of the U.S. have the same policy. That one must wait 24 or 48 hours to report someone missing is a myth. And yet how often do you see it in fiction?
I’m going to keep today’s post short, but I’d like to hear from you. Can you think of any more urban myths? If you can, please share them. Let everyone benefit from your myth busting!
You’re lining up to cash out at the grocery store. There’s a guy in his mid-twenties behind you and a woman in front of you. The woman is arguing with a child who wants a chocolate bar. You think to yourself, just buy it and shut the kid up. The guy behind you says as much under his breath but loud enough for you to hear. Which one of these people do you relate to? If you actually thought, just buy it… then it’s the guy behind you. On the surface you are in cahoots. But if you’re a parent, you probably thought, that poor woman, and chances are you relate to her on a deeper level. Why? Because you probably share experiences.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the things which connect us as human beings are that which we relate to when we read a book. The more we can relate, and get into the mind of the protagonist or even the antagonist, the more we’ll enjoy the novel.
Back to my scenario at the beginning. Assuming you’re a parent, you can probably understand on some level what it’s like to have a child who, at one time or another, acted out. Yes, there are people out there with perfectly behaved children in public. Perhaps they only go out on days that the sun shines. I have no idea. But not to belabor the point, let’s go instead to the guy standing behind you. If you agreed with him then you can relate, but only to a point. His situation and his attitude aren’t as obvious as the harried mother’s. But that doesn’t mean you can’t write a book he’d be interested in reading. It probably wouldn’t have children in it. Then again, the mother’s ideal novel probably wouldn’t either. She’s looking for an escape.
So is the solution to never put kids into your novels? Maybe. Or maybe you just need to think about who is going to relate to your characters–their lives and their emotions–to find your target audience.
The first arguably most difficult thing about creating characters, is avoiding writing about yourself. This argument is based on the fact that you know no one better. Your experiences, tastes, and even your most used expressions are bound to creep in – sometimes you don’t even realize it.
The second arguably most difficult thing about creating characters is making them believable. It’s easy to write a one-dimensional character. So we write back stories, which may or may not show up in the final cut. But how detailed are those back stories? And how rounded do they make your characters?
The difficulty I find in writing a back story is that it tends to be about the big stuff. When I’m writing one, I’m looking for what motivates my characters to do what they do. Because a character with no motivation is the worst kind of cookie-cutter character. So I go back to their childhoods to discover what made them who they are. What are the huge events that shaped them into the person my readers will see when I plop them down in my story and ask them to react?
It’s not just the big things that shape who we are in real life though, is it? It might be where we were when someone else’s big event happened. It might be a piece of music we heard. Any number of trivial things make us who we are. And it’s those little things that make people care about us. Truly care. Which is another MAJOR if not the most MAJOR thing in keeping a reader reading our story.
With this in mind, I came up with an idea. What about those stupid surveys you see all over facebook and the like, which teenagers love to fill out? I looked one up. My mind was blown. This is only one of thousands: https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=50193333157 so if you don’t like the questions here, google “100 question survey facebook.” If I answered only a third of the questions on this survey, from the perspective of my characters when they were teenagers, I would know everything I could possibly want to know in order to create the best characters I can come up with. Because the problem with writing just a back story, is the lack of spontaneously coming up with your characters quirks, opinions, and thoughts. Why? Again, because your own seep in.
As soon as I have the time, I will take this survey for at least four of my novel’s characters–two main, and two supporting. I honestly believe this is the golden key to rounding out their lives, and making my readers–and myself–care about them and what happens to them.
Do it. And really put some thought into it. Remember what it was like to be a teenager, when all of these questions mattered. Then let your character’s experiences seep in to your story and not your own. I can almost guarantee that it will give you a better story.
There’s a contest going on at a local radio station at the moment to promote the concert and to give away tickets for the band Wheatus. You might remember them – they sang the song “Teenage Dirtbag.”
(great video)
To win the tickets you must write about your own experience with a dirtbag and send your story in to the station. This got me to thinking (as things do) about how one doesn’t really need to resort to watching “Criminal Minds” to find a villain for their story. Most of us, if not all, know people in real life who would make perfect villains. All that’s required is to amp up their faults either a little or a lot.
Take the jock in the video, for instance. He pisses off his girlfriend when he throws something at the nerd. Bullies like this are everywhere – not just at school.
True story: A couple of years ago, my mother was in the parking lot of the local mall when she grazed another car going around a corner. She was supposed to meet up with me inside the mall that day, and she didn’t know what to do, so she came to find me. Someone, meanwhile, witnessed the accident and wrote two notes; one they left on my mom’s windshield and the other on the windshield of the person she hit. I don’t remember exactly how it went down, but I contacted the owner of the damaged car. Luckily, I didn’t let my mother deal with the asshole.
He told me he wouldn’t put in a police report if I would agree to pay for his repairs. I said fine – it wasn’t much damage. He was going to get it fixed right away. When it was done, he called me to say it would be $300. This is how it went from there:
Me: Okay just send me the receipt for the repair.
Him: No.
Me: I’m not giving you any money unless I see the bill.
Him: Don’t you trust me?
Me: (thinking, no I don’t) It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just want it for my records.
Him: What do you need the receipt for – are you a bookkeeper or something?
Me: Yes I am.
Him: Well maybe I’ll just call the police. You don’t want this to go on your mom’s record, do you?
Me: Not really, but I still want the receipt.
Him: (getting angry) Look, I’m giving you a deal here. You should be paying me more than $300 for my inconvenience. I had to go without my car for two days. Doesn’t my time mean anything to you?
Me: No.
I hung up on him and took my mother to the police station to report the accident. Her insurance paid for her damage and his paid for his. And that was that.
Classic bully. What a villain he would make.
Have you crossed paths with a villain? Please share your experience in the comments!
One of the best and the worst things in writing fiction is to get your characters into a situation that’s difficult to get out of. It creates a quagmire not only for them, but for you, the author. There’s nothing quite like the moment when you figure out how to release them from an impossible situation. There’s nothing better for your readers than not being able to figure out where the story is going. It makes them want to keep reading. It’s the goal of the author to create such an irresistible environment.
But what if you’ve put your characters into a place that’s so boggy that the only way to get them out is for something convenient to happen? They’re adrift at sea and the sharks are circling… oh look! It’s a helicopter! That sort of thing just doesn’t fly (pardon) with most readers.
Do you keep trying to come up with a way out? Or do you start again, and put them into an easier situation? Personally I hate giving up on these sorts of difficulties. Because the solution, when it comes to me, is one of the best feelings in the world.
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