Life in progress

Tag Archives: children


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A Difficult Day

It’s been a particularly tough day with my son, Alex today. For those of you who aren’t familiar with him, he’s a Deaf, four foot tall, cute as a button thirteen year old who has somehow managed to combine adolescence with the terrible twos. He has scabs on both knees from a fall he took last week. They were both healing nicely but …

Alex can’t leave a scab alone. It doesn’t matter if he opens it up again, he’ll just keep picking and picking until it gets infected and I have no idea what to do. Today I tried the following:

1. Telling him “no.”

2. Taking away his laptop and turning off the tv.

3. Putting him in his room.

4. Saying please (trying to reason with him).

5. Putting a bandage on it. (He took it off.)

6. Restraining him.

7. Ignoring him.

8. Putting a cloth damp with rubbing alcohol on the cuts (which by that time were oozing pus).

9. Threatening to put MORE alcohol on if he didn’t stop touching it (in the end he held the alcohol-soaked cloth on it himself).

And what, of all this worked eventually? Ignoring him. For a limited amount of time.

This has been my day from the moment I woke up to the moment he finally went to sleep after whining that his knees hurt for about an hour from the time he went to bed.

Any suggestions? Because I’m looking forward to the same thing tomorrow and every day until he goes to his dad’s on Monday… and at this rate every other day ’til Christmas, if it’s healed by then.

P.S. If you “like” this post I’ll consider it support. 🙂


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Starving my child for kicks

I had the pleasure today of going out for lunch with my son, Alex. For those of you who are new to this blog, Alex is Deaf and he is tube-fed. He nibbles a little, drinks even less, and has never eaten a meal in all of his thirteen and three-quarter years. However it’s fun for both of us: I get to treat myself to a meal and he gets to people-watch, which is his favourite thing in the whole world.

So we went into Montana’s and sat down in a booth and the waitress came over to ask if we wanted anything to drink. I ordered him a glass of water without ice (I’m won’t pay for something he won’t drink – he did end up sipping about a half-teaspoon of it though) and I ordered myself a beer. A few minutes later she came back with that and took our order. We had agreed on a salmon salad – Alex liked the picture – so I asked for it and he pointed to it.

“Just one?” she asked.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Shall I get him a plate?” she half-whispered, I suppose so as not to embarrass me.

“Sure,” I said.

She looked at me briefly as though she was assessing how cheap I must be and left the table. Five minutes later she came back with not one, but two small plates. I mean seriously, SURELY I was going to split the salad evenly. I did manage to not tell her to go fuck herself however – I said thank you instead.

When the salad came she put it in the middle of the table. Of course I immediately moved it in front of me and gave Alex a nibble on his plate. After two miniscule bites of salmon he was full.

The thing is this: every time this happens I’m tempted to lift up his shirt and show the waitress his g-tube button, permanently implanted in his stomach, and explain why I’m not feeding him. But then I think, why should I have to? What I do in a restaurant, as long as I’m being polite and paying for my food, shouldn’t matter. Yet how much do you want to bet she went home and told her husband, “There was this woman who came in today and ordered herself a beer and a salad and let her kid starve, blah blah blah…” Actually, it’s kind of funny, when you think about it.

Would you explain to people why you’re not feeding your child? Or would you just allow them to judge and tell everyone about it who will listen?


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Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Time

I read an article yesterday that talked about what is important to us and how we spend our time doing things that aren’t important. The article went on to say what you do is what you are.

To a certain degree I agree. I write, I am a writer. I take care of my family, I am a mother. But what do I do that makes me simply a human being? I spend time thinking about what I can do to help others, I try to spend time relaxing and even more time attempting to be inspired by something that I would like to write. I don’t think it’s possible to ever really be doing nothing. Even when we’re playing mindless games or watching crappy television programs, our minds are active.

The article stated also that if we laze around doing useless things then our lives are useless. If we spend all our time working for things we think we need (extras, that is) then we’re probably even worse off, especially if our goal in life is to provide for our family. A family we rarely see.

Anyway, it got me thinking about what I spend my time doing. I often say I’m doing nothing, and it’s true that many days little gets accomplished that I can actually see with my eyes. The dishes pile up, the dusting and vacuuming don’t get done. But in all, my children are happy and I’m pretty content. Sitting with Alex, even if we’re both on our laptops, keeps him happy and avoiding Chris unless he wants something – and then being available to talk to him when he does – makes for a peaceful household. The dishes, the dust, the vacuum cleaner – they don’t really care what I do with my time.

This post is part of SoCS. Find this week’s prompt here and join in! https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/08/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-1614/

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

P.S. Here’s the link to the article: http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/the-60-second-guide-to-bullshit-free-life/


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Distraction and Randomness

Am I the only one who is incredibly distracted by all the articles on Robin Williams? I think it’s the vast contradiction between the man who made us laugh and the exceptionally sad circumstances of his death that have me reeling so much over the news. I’ve tried to write more on the subject, but no matter what I write, it just makes no sense.

In other news, I went upstairs to go to bed the other night (it must have been more than a week ago by now) and Alex was talking in his sleep. Keep in mind that he doesn’t speak – he only signs. I actually walked to my room to the sound of applause. I’ve seen him do it before though. It’s quite funny to watch him have a conversation with someone in his dream. He giggles a lot as well.

When I was at the Museum of Nature in Ottawa I saw a Splitfin Flashlight fish. Try saying that three times fast.

Don’t forget to get your entries in for the badge design contest tomorrow!

That’s really all I can come up with at the moment. (See first paragraph.)

Blah.


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Likeable Villains – Opinions Wanted

I’m back home from my weekend in Ottawa where I had a chance to do some writing. With the work I accomplished, I’ve arrived home with a question for all my followers who are fiction lovers. But first a little information.

I have a new villain in the sequel to my novel and I’m finding I like her. She’s as sharp and witty as she is rotten to the core. So far, 40,000 words into the novel, she has yet to show how bad she can be. My question to you is, have you ever loved a villain despite the fact that they’re cruel and horrible people? Is what I’m doing a no-no?

In the comments, please let me know if you’ve ever read (or seen in a movie) a villain you’ve liked – who you’ve been excited to see when they turned up in a scene.

P.S. I’ll be answering all the comments from the weekend and reading as many of the SoCS entries as I can after I put Alex to bed. Thanks to everyone for your contributions to both!

 


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Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Twice

If I could live my life again – if I could go back to when I was younger to redo the things I’ve done in the past, I wonder which ones I’d skip and what I’d do twice.

I know I wouldn’t drink all that tequila I did that one night when I was in my twenties – the time I wanted to die and get it over with the next day. And I wouldn’t say to myself, Sure, I can handle going over this jump without my feet in the stirrups! What’s the worst that can happen? I’ll fall off the horse! Little did I know I’d somehow land on the ground before the horse did. Can you say squash? Luckily it was only my ankle.

I’d probably go with my gut the second time around and call off the first wedding the night before I was to get married. But then I’d never have met some of the people I did. And I’d never have adopted the greatest dog that ever lived. George, the St. Bernard.

So what WOULD I do twice? I’d definitely fall in love. That has to be one of the most wonderful things of all. And I’d travel again, especially to Japan. I would laugh at all the same things over again, and I’d race like a daredevil down the side of the highway on horseback. I’d go up in a hot air balloon again. …oh wait, I’ve already done that twice. And I’d take so many of the chances I took the first time around.

But if there was one thing I’d do twice, it’s have my babies. All three of them. …but not at the same time so it wouldn’t be one thing, it would be three. I’d do those three things twice.

What would you do twice, if you had a chance?

This post is part of SoCS: https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/08/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-914/ All you need to know about Stream of Consciousness Saturday is behind the link. So click the link and join in the fun!


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Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Now I’m Here

I’m here. I’m always here. But aren’t we all? Where else would we be but here?

Here, for me, is usually my living room couch with my laptop on my lap. At least when I’m at rest. And by ‘at rest’ I mean working, because working on my novels, whether writing or editing is right up there with relaxing with a good book. I may call it working but to me it’s nothing like work.

Back to the ‘here.’ There is a marked difference between being here and sitting next to Alex than there is being here when he’s at his dad’s. I’m afraid, most of the time, to allow myself to concentrate on my work. There’s nothing worse than being wrenched out of it by someone demanding something of me. It’s like laying down for a nap when you know the phone will probably ring. What’s the use?

Not only that, but the difference in noise is also a factor. When I’m alone I can put my music on–when I’m writing or editing it’s always the Japanese band, Buck-Tick–but when Alex is here I’m usually listening to him sing. And by singing I mean a long, drawn out single note, because he’s Deaf and doesn’t understand that singing means more than one sound. The good news is, he can watch TV and play video games with the sound off and he doesn’t know the difference. At least I don’t have to listen to Dora the Explorer all day long.

So here I sit, now trying to decide if I should take the plunge or just give up on the idea of working for the day. It’s stressful not to work.

Especially when Buck-Tick is playing.

 

This post is part of SoCS: https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/08/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-214/  Click the link to see how you too can join in!


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The Trip to Queen and Back

Now that I’ve written the official Queen and Adam Lambert concert review, it’s time to relate the story of my trip.

We arrived in Toronto with about four and a half hours to spare before the show so we decided to do some walking. And some lunch. We chose a nice English pub downtown and sat down to have a beer with our meal. This is only notable because it marked the first time I’ve ever had a beer with my son in a restaurant. But I didn’t feel old AT ALL. I’ll just keep telling myself that.

After lunch we walked until our legs gave out (and no, it wasn’t just me). We sat on a flight of steps in Yonge-Dundas Square for a rest. Whilst there, we watched as a member of the security crew poured a bucket of soapy water on a rectangle of chalk that a group of kids had drawn on the pavement. Then, another employee came along with a broom and mopped it up. Can’t be too careful about that graffiti here in Canada I tell ya.

Of course, that called for a coffee. Since there were no tables available at the first Tim’s we went to, we walked a little more and then stopped to sit beside a fountain. There I took a picture of my traveling companions:

My eldest son Fred and my best friend John

My eldest son Fred and my best friend John

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We got to the Air Canada Centre long before the concert started and got to listen to some really annoying people behind us, who complained about everything: their own seats, other people’s seats, the line-ups, when was the concert going to start… I had had a headache all day and these people weren’t helping it to go away. But you know what did make my headache go away? Queen!

I didn’t think about what putting my hands above my head for almost two hours was going to do to my poor shoulder, let alone what singing at the top of my lungs was going to do to my throat. Strangely enough, my shoulder hasn’t felt better since January. Funny what adrenaline can do.

We got back home at 1:00am on the dot and I was still feeling the effects of being tired yesterday. Today I seem to have finally recovered. Not only am I fully awake, but I no longer sound like a teenaged boy whose voice is cracking either.

But you know what? I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

 


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And I’m Back

Real life starts again in a couple of hours when the kids come back home from their dad’s. For now I think I’ll just share a few pictures I took in Kingston a week ago, before I got sick.

Will catch up with everything and everyone tomorrow. Click for larger images. Enjoy!


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Just Jot it July – Busyness

On Monday, Alex started camp, and silly me, I thought that meant I’d have time to myself this week.

Monday morning started at 4am, with a very excited camper. Most of my day was lost having a nap.

Tuesday wake-up time was better, but I still had to go to camp to feed him, since it’s not “allowed” at YMCA day camps for the employees to “do anything like giving kids medicine, etc.” …which apparently lumps in feeding my kid because he’s tube fed. … It’s FEEDING! You’re not going to overdose him! After that, I had to go and meet a real estate agent at my mother’s condo. I’m trying to sell it since she’s in a retirement home. The good news? I may be able to get $1,000 more for it now than I bought it for five years ago. (Yes, I own it. Long story.) (And yes, that’s only three zeros.)

Tomorrow, Alex’s brother, Fred, is going to feed him, but I have to go in the morning to bottle my white wine (at this point I’m thinking maybe that should be whine) (unless my dear dear best friend does it for me *bats eyelashes*) and then I’m picking up mom for a trip to the bank and the doctor. Woohoo! Fun times.

THURSDAY, I have 124 papers to deliver in the morning, then take a nice hour long drive to feed Alex because they’re going on a field trip that day, and an hour back home. To the same city I’m going to for my vacation on Friday. Because I needed to drive there twice.

But the bestest news is, I’m on vacation next week!! Four days and three nights in Kingston to do research/get inspired for my novels (I can say novels with a plural now, because I’m almost 8,000 words into the sequel) and then a week at home all by my lonesome. Isn’t that awesome??

Now all I have to do is get through the next couple of days.

P.S. For all you SoCS participants, I’ll be posting the prompt early Friday and scheduling my own Saturday SoCS post but I won’t be online for the weekend. More about that on Friday.

P.P.S. If you’d like to join in Miss Lou’s Just Jot it July, go here to find the rules: http://misslouella.wordpress.com/2014/07/07/just-jot-it-july/