Life in progress

Tag Archives: Humor


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What Day is it Anyway? Thursday, August 27th, 2020

My day today so far–11:53am

I have failed. I have failed in my resolve and thus, as a human being.

Okay, maybe it’s not quite that dire.

Let me back up a bit.

Thursday (that’s today, right?) is shopping day. Despite best-laid plans to get up and be at the grocery store when they opened at 8:00 I didn’t wake up until my son screamed at me that it was time to go shopping now, Mom, at 9:00.

So I quickly dressed and jumped in the car.

Here’s my excuse: I’m in the ice cream aisle, it’s, like 9:40, and I haven’t had coffee yet. AN UNCAFFEINATED BRAIN CANNOT FUNCTION IN THE ICE CREAM AISLE!

So I did it. Even though I still have half a container of green tea Haagen-Dasz in the freezer at home, I bought a container of the chocolate and peanut butter one.

I have failed.

And damn it, I refuse to be sorry.
Photo: The lid of the most heavenly, most addictive ice cream on the planet: Haagen-Dasz Chocolate Peanut Butter.

Why I’m writing this post:

Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress and all over the Internet as well, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.

I want everyone to know that you can start discussions with each other in the comments, and if you’d like to write your own “What Day is it Anyway?” post, you can link to this one. Hashtag #WDIIA.

 


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“Saddled” 40% off sale ends today, and “Pixy” is freeeee

Today only, you can get Saddled 40% off at Kobo!

Saddled is the story of Michael, a guy who’s ready to quit stripping for a living and settle down in a career he’s been training for for years. When he starts to his new day job, he meets Sandra, the Sales Manager. Thus begins an office romance … or does it?

Add a gaggle of humorless co-workers, a no-dating policy at the office, and the fact that Sandra assumes Michael is gay when she sees him disrobing for a pub full of men, and you’ve got a novel that one reviewer describes as “…a huge barrel of laughs!”  (Link goes to the full review on Amazon.)

The 40% discount is available ON KOBO ONLY in the US, the UK, Australia, New Zealand and Canada. If you’re here in Canada, you can read any of my books that are on Kobo for free with your Kobo Plus subscription!

If you want to take advantage of the discount, add the book to your cart and enter the promo code AUGSALE at checkout.

CLICK THIS LINK!

Next up: PIXY!

In the mood for some lighthearted paranormal romance? Have I got a freebie for you!

Ivy is a widow, managing her farm all by herself when Merryn appears, willing to help until he’s summoned back home. But if they touch, she’ll be drawn into his magical pixy existence and linked to him forever…

Pixy is available only on Kindle. Pick it up FREE until August 30th, when the price goes back to 99 cents. On September 1st, it goes up to $2.99, so get it now!

KINDLE US

KINDLE UK

KINDLE Canada

KINDLE Australia

 


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#SoCS – Spot the difference

As I sat down to write this post, I realized that my job is basically a game of “spot the difference.” Because what is editing if it’s not finding things that are not what they’re supposed to be? On one hand, you have a tpyo, and on the other hand, you have the dictionary. The word is “typo.” Spot the difference!

And for this I spent thousands of dollars in school fees and hours upon hours of studying. HA!

Speaking of words, have you ever noticed how many four-letter words you can spell out of the letters S-P-O-T?

spot

stop

post

pots

tops

opts

Did I miss any?

 

2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley! https://www.quaintrevival.com/

This observational post was brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Find the prompt here and join in! https://lindaghill.com/2020/08/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-8-2020/


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One-Liner Wednesday, August 5th – Do you ever?

Do you ever scroll through your social media feed and see a photo fly by and stop because you’re not sure if you just saw a bowl of milk with poop in it and wonder, Did I just see a bowl of milk with poop in it? and, for a split second, think about going back to check but then decide that if it was a bowl of milk with poop in it, you don’t really want to know?

Yeah, me neither.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


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One-Liner Wednesday, July 29th – I’ll take that

When someone on Facebook put out a post to ask, “If you gave me the last thing you bought, what would it be?” and I answered, “A bag of 2%,” it took about five minutes for it to occur to me that few people would know what they’d be getting.

Do you know?

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


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What Day is it Anyway? #SoCS Edition Saturday, July 25th, 2020

I had to check to make sure it was Saturday. Technically, it’s Sunday, but this is my Saturday prompt. Gotta suck it up.

I’ve been a bit checked out today. I poured my first cup of coffee this morning, put the rest of the milk from the bag (yes, I said bag) into my cup, but it wasn’t enough. So I opened another bag and topped it up … with chunky milk.

So I dumped that down the sink and poured myself a cup of black coffee. Which wouldn’t have been so bad had it not been for the heartburn I’ve been getting again.

I only got half a cup of coffee today. I usually have three.

So …

I went over to drop some stuff off to my mother at the home and forgot which home she was in. In my defense, she’s lived in three different homes this year so far. It was a nice drive around town.

I came home and had a nap. Something I never do.

And then I forgot what day it was.

But honestly, I’ve been a bit checked out for a week. I spend all my conscious, aware, alert time on editing. For the rest, I’m a vegetable.

A yummy piece of broccoli though, so it’s not too bad.

2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley! https://www.quaintrevival.com/

This nearly caffeine-free post is an adaptation of #WDIIA and Stream of Consciousness Saturday, brought to you by both. To join us in the SoCS tradition, click the following link where you’ll find all the instructions and the other participants’ posts in the comments. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2020/07/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-25-2020/ Or you can link to this post if you just want to write a What Day is it Anyway? post.


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One-Liner Wednesday, July 22nd – The small things

Created with Canva

Photo: A Lego man sitting at a desk with a computer. The Lego man is grimacing. Caption reads: “You know it’s a good day when you find the Lego with your eyes before you find it with your feet.”

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


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#SoCS – The Link

The link between today and tomorrow is survival.

Think about it.

At least on a personal level it is.

I suppose tomorrow still comes for everyone else. … who survives.

Hey! I’m tired.

2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley! https://www.quaintrevival.com/

This short philosophical post was brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday and the letter T … Find the former here and join in! https://lindaghill.com/2020/07/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-18-2020/


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One-Liner Wednesday, July 15th – It’s 5 o’clock somewhere

What do you call the type of day where you look at the beer in the fridge and wonder if it’s okay to start drinking yet … and it’s only 9am? ‘Coz I’ve had a couple in a row.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


by 53 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday, July 8th – That feeling when…

That feeling when you know you wrote down your fantastic idea for a one-liner but at 1am on Wednesday you go to look it up and it’s nowhere to be found so you end up writing a stupid one-liner that starts with “that feeling when…”

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com