Oooh, brrrr. Here’s a chilly subject. Appropriate considering we’re getting freezing rain here. Tiny little glaciers falling from the sky. The kind of weather that lifts your shoulders to your earlobes.
Speaking of cold shoulders, (what a segue, eh?) the first synonym in my thesaurus for glacial is antagonistic. Along those lines are also inimical (I absolutely cannot pronounce that word. Can you?) and unfriendly. This immediately brings trolls to my mind; the glacial denizens of the internet.
We’re all waiting to cross that bridge, aren’t we? If we haven’t already of course. That icy, slippery causeway to misery – commentary’s dip into a hostile Arctic abyss.
Or.
Just ignore them and they’ll go away.
The word, “glacial” also brings to mind my childhood and my favourite pasttime back then – figure skating. Although I practiced for eight years, I never did perfect the art of the axel. For those of you not too familiar, it’s a jump that involves taking off from a forward facing direction, spinning one and a half rotations (for a single axel) in the air and landing on the opposite foot facing the other direction. I simply didn’t have the guts to really give it 100% of my effort. I did enjoy coaching, though. Figure skating is one of those things that fits well into the adage, “those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.”
Up until now, the word “forefather” has always seemed a little redundant to me. Of course after I turned to it in my thesaurus as my word of the day, I looked it up to get a little more insight on what exactly it means, but in the past I was all like, “of course it’s a FOREfather. Can’t really be an AFTERfather, can it? Dad has to come first unless someone’s discovered the secret to time travel – and going down that road is just ewww…” *thinks of that episode of Futurama in which Fry discovers he’s his own grandfather* But now I’ve discovered it means every papa that came before dear ol’ dad it makes a little more sense.
I’ve never been much into family trees. I know I came from somewhere and while it would be nice to know whether or not I descend from royalty (my kids’ behaviour sometimes indicates that I actually may), since it doesn’t much help me one way or another I don’t really care enough to go delving. I understand there are cultures that are way into knowing where they come from and I think that’s very cool. Information like that, passed down through generations and not having to be discovered from scratch would be quite useful at times. Then again, finding out your predecessor was a dirty rotten scoundrel might be equally as disconcerting.
Before I sign off on this post I really REALLY have to mention one of the synonyms I found for “forefather.” I’m going to start using it any chance I get – it’s so cool. Ready?
PRIMOGENITOR
Seriously! Doesn’t it sound like some sort of awesome Transformer! Imagine, traveling back in time and meeting up with this ginormous dude made of space-aged plastic who bends down, and roars in a heavy, digitally enhanced bass, “I AM YOUR PRIMOGENITOR,” (with emphasis on the OR) and then picks you up and starts bouncing you on his knee.
And… this is the hardest word I’ve had to deal with yet. How ironic.
Actually, you know what? If you’re EVER looking for inspiration for something to write on your blog and you have an actual, physical thesaurus (because it’s not going to work with an online one), challenge yourself to write whatever you turn to. Even if you have to close your eyes, open the book and point. Whichever root word your finger lands on, write the first thing that comes into your head. Not good enough? Look at the synonyms! Everything you need to write a post is there.
Like this one – “easy.” The entry for this is full of not only words that mean the same thing, but there are phrases as well. For example: “easy as pie.” How easy is a pie? Have you ever made a pie from scratch? I haven’t. Why? It’s too damned hard! The phrase makes absolutely no sense to me. Or how about “like taking candy from a baby”? That’s not friggin’ easy! It’s cruel! Who the hell wants to take candy from a baby? If nothing else it disturbs the peace!
So what have I learned from this post? From this little exercise? That apparently the easiest thing of all to do today is get me into rant mode. Odd that some of the synonyms further down on the list are serene, tranquil, and untroubled. That’ll teach me to read the whole entry before I start typing next time, won’t it?
One flip phone, make and model optional. I used a Huawei from Consumer Cellular.
Pair of jeans, label, size and style optional. I opted for Levi’s traditional 501 button fly, size 32X32.
A household washing machine.
One large zip-lock sandwich bag.
A container of rice, Uncle Ben’s or brand of your choice.
Procedure sequence:
Load dark load into washing machine. Strip pockets of jeans currently being worn and place all objects on dresser. Answer ringing phone and engage in overly long conversation. Upon concluding conversation place phone into hip pocket of jeans, right or left, your call. Complete several chores before returning to laundry. Slip out of jeans and add to dark load. Start washing machine. Allow an hour or so to pass and then return to laundry in order to place load into dryer. Discover flip phone at bottom of washing machine. Utter expletive or expletives…
My best friend John bought a loaf of Dempster’s Supergrain bread and left it on my counter. I didn’t notice what kind it was until early the next morning. I usually buy Seed Lover’s bread and so that’s what I was expecting – therefore, what I read in my early morning stupor was “Superseed,” which made me wonder if I should eat it before I finished the old loaf…
(supersede)
Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
I need your opinion on an important matter. First, the back-story.
Earlier this year I went to the dentist. I don’t like the dentist – this is something you need to know to truly understand where I’m coming from. In fact, “don’t like” is really a mild way of saying I’m a wuss.
It was my first time at this particular dentist and my first time in a long time at any dentist. I needed a filling. It all started great but then the dentist noticed my tooth was cracked. It needed some special attention. I, being who I am, let the dentist know in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t happy about what he was doing in my mouth. Suffice to say I said, “ouch” a few times.
It had already been determined that I needed two more fillings on the other side. The dentist suggested, quite strongly, that I should go to another dentist and get a general anaesthetic. I told him fine, I’d check and see how much it would cost.
Whoa.
So, I went back to the first dentist (to get a cleaning this time) and when I saw him I told him that I wanted him to do the other two fillings. He didn’t think this was a wise choice.
“But I can’t afford a general anaesthesia,” I told him.
“Well, you were in a lot of discomfort last time,” he said. “And besides, we have the other patients to consider…”
The other patients? I didn’t think I was that loud.
Dentists, even ones who don’t put you under, are expensive. The cleaning alone cost me hundreds of dollars, not to mention the fillings which were more costly. So here’s where your opinion comes in:
A) If you’re emptying your wallet at the dentist, do you have the right to be as loud as you want?
or
B) If you’re emptying your wallet at the dentist, do you have the right to a peaceful visit without someone in the next room wailing like a banshee/complaining that the dentist is trying to kill her/saying ouch?
or
C) Would you trust a dentist who had separate soundproof rooms?
or
D) All of the above.
or
E) None of the above.
Here’s a poll:
Please vote and add your two cents (or five, if you’re Canadian) in the comments. I need an answer to this conundrum!
Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
As is my usual MO, I’m trying to make the best of the bad situation that is not being able to do anything but hang about the house, by editing my novel. WordPress though, as you probably know, is the bane of any procrastinator’s existence. So. A quick update on my foot and then I’m outta here.
I went to see my family doctor this morning fully expecting an amputation somewhere around mid-shin. Not one but TWO doctors had a gander and they agreed. No infection. I can’t begin to tell you how relieved I was when they dejectedly put away their bone saw.
The diagnosis? The blister has turned into a blood blister, which is basically a glorified bruise deep under the skin. It does have to be treated however, to prevent an ulcer from forming.
The treatment? Soak it daily in salt water and pumice the dead skin off the surface and let it heal on its own. And if I have to wear shoes, a moleskin bandage must be applied.
So that’s it! My foot lives to see another day! Thank you so much to all who gave me such wonderful suggestions yesterday – it’s clear that some of you should be doctors yourselves. Especially the ones who aren’t overzealous with the amputation bit – yes, I’m looking at you, Glazed.
I’ll get caught up on all my comments and read all of today’s one-liners tomorrow. Now, I’m off to perform some magic with The Great Dagmaru.
I’ve avoided whining about it for eight days but I’ve had enough. I don’t know exactly how a rant at this point is going to help, but here we go anyway.
I have a blister. OOOOhhhh, you say. Poor baby has a booboo. But this isn’t just a blister. It’s a boil sent from the universe to counteract every wonderful moment I had walking around Japan. It’s the bane of my existence. It’s the antithesis of joy come to smite me for being relatively healthy all my life. It’s the Blister From Hell!
Today will be my seventh day inside these four walls. Apart from going outside in the snow in -10 degree weather in bare feet and flip-flops last Friday to get Alex off the school bus, I’ve been completely housebound. Unable to wear shoes.
And for what? A spot on the side of my heel the size of a toonie (if you’re not Canadian, look it up) that’s gone from angry red to white and is now ringed in a lovely shade of mulberry with a gray poupon-coloured centre. (I’ll spare you a photo – you may never eat mustard again.) After eight days (EIGHT FRIGGIN’ DAYS) it still hurts to stand on my left foot.
What have I tried in order to relieve it? I’ve soaked it, I’ve popped it with mixed results, (the first time I tried I discovered it was a series of tiny blisters beneath the winter-thickened dry skin of my heels – I gave up after half a dozen attempts) I’ve tried grinning and bearing it, I’ve tried bandaging it, unbandaging it, putting cream on it, leaving it to dry… the result? I still can’t bear the idea of trying to get a shoe on. And I need groceries, damnit! I need fresh air! I need people–crowds–to inspire me to write something other than a whiny-rant/plea-for-escape!!
People, you are my last hope. Tell me what to do. To hell with sensitivity–I need results!
Remember waaay back in December when I went to Japan? Yeah, I’m finally almost finished writing about it and sharing my pictures. Queen of Procrastination… it’s me.
On my last full day in Tokyo I had plans to meet a friend for dinner. They’d been forecasting rain–100-120mm of it–and that scared me a little. That’s more than we get in an average month here in Ontario. In fact if they forecast more than 30mm in a day we start filling up sand bags and check our canoes for leaks. So it was, on the 16th of December, that I headed out with my umbrella, silently bemoaning the fact that I hadn’t brought water wings or a pool noodle to Japan with me.
I stopped first at a Doutor coffee shop in my local train station for some breakfast. Here’s what I wrote in my notebook:
Kokusaitenjijo Station, ODaiba
Tuna sandwich for breakfast… but the coffee’s good! Actually, so’s the sandwich.
I went everywhere yesterday. First to Shibuya, then Akihabara, then to Shinjuku to meet Kellie. Today I’ve decided to go to Asakusa. It’s raining a little – more to come. I hope, regardless, to go shopping a bit more.
Noted: the trains don’t have whistles. Everyone just obeys the signs.
And.. I’m listening to the theme from Sesame Street on the overhead radio. No shit. It’s hard not to laugh out loud.
Oh thank God that’s over.
“We’ve Only Just Begun…” not the Carpenters.
At least it’s not Earth Wind and Fire belting out Christmas carols.
Coffee’s finished. Time to go.
So with that I boarded a train and went back to Shibuya to meet with Susie, who I missed, then on to Asakusa.
It’s a quaint little district of Tokyo most famous for its Sensou-ji Temple. I walked around for a while in the pouring rain and took some pictures.
From there I went shopping. In Asakusa there are narrow streets, some covered, some not, with vendors down both sides. I wish I’d taken pictures. I managed to finish my Christmas shopping there but I still had some time left before I had to meet my friend, so I went into a Starbucks for a coffee and a drip-dry.
4:50pm – finally made it to Starbucks – looking out the window at the rain coming down. It’s very close to freezing out there – probably about 4 or 5 degrees. I’m in Asakusa waiting to go to Ueno Station to meet Shigeyoshi at 6. I can’t believe this is my last evening here. Did I get what I came for? The 5:36 certainly. The experience – the knowledge that I can still travel alone and be happy and content to do so is invaluable.
Do I want to come back? Definitely. This is such a fascinating country. Yes. But next time I’ll be more prepared. I’ll come back with a plan when I’m rich from the sale of my novel…
Off to meet Shigeyoshi.
…with whom I had a wonderful dinner. We ate in a Japanese restaurant right in the Station and he was kind enough to be patient with me as he watched me struggle with my chopsticks. I ordered a plate with shrimp and something else… when I asked him what the something else was he looked up the translation on his phone – which meant nothing to me. So he went looking for a picture – and showed me one of a sea urchin. I must say it was delicious!
I regret not taking any pictures at our dinner, but you can get to know him yourself by visiting his blog here: https://sotacf.wordpress.com/ which is where I first got to know him myself. His interest is in cars, but he also has some gorgeous pictures of his travels around Japan on his blog. Please do go and say hi – I owe him for waiting so patiently for me to get to this post!
One more post to go before the reports of my adventures come to a close…
lindaghill.com 