Life in progress

Tag Archives: humour


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One-Liner Wednesday – You’re gonna get mugged

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At least you know what to expect when you walk in the door of the shop… Funny enough, there’s a police station practically next door.

P.S. Don’t forget the #1lineWed tag on your post!

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use the tag #1lineWed for more exposure.

Have fun!


by 53 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Really Texas?

Sometimes you have to travel to discover cultural differences in faraway places; sometimes you can learn right in your own kitchen ~

hot dog

(click on the image to read the label)

~ then there are those things you really have to question…

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

Have fun!


by 31 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Quite Right

Chris and Mum

Chris and “Grandma” (my mother), October 2014

When asked whether or not my 19 year old Autistic son was able make his own lunch, like an excellent Master of a servant, he replied, “I’m good at letting my mom do it.”

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

Have fun!


by 32 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Everything’s funnier with an axe

editing

Editing is like self-grooming with an axe – you just want to trim your nails but you know you’re gonna lose a toe before it’s all over. ~ me

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

Have fun!


by 39 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Would you like fries with that?

You know you’ve been editing too much when:

You’re upset that you can’t back up and correct the improper grammar you uttered into the drive-through speaker at McDonald’s. True story.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

Have fun!


by 33 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Morning Logic

…from my best friend, John:

If “I think, therefore I am,” does that mean I don’t exist before coffee?

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

Have fun!


by 37 Comments

The Cycles of Mother’s Day

I have memories as a child of preparing breakfast, with my father’s help, to bring to my mother in bed on Mother’s Day. I knew as well as he did that it would be no surprise, but we pretended, he and I. I remember a few odd gifts I gave her over the years, but the one that stands out the most was a garbage bag full of well-fermented horse shit I brought home in my car from the ranch where I worked. Her roses loved it and yet she still rolls her eyes over it.

As a new mother myself, my very first Mother’s Day was a revelation. Being pampered by my son’s father was a dream come true. Those beginning years were special indeed – breakfast in bed was mine, although sometimes those breakfasts were inedible having been made with love by my young children. I grinned and did my best to eat them without gagging anyway.

Today I find the cycle has changed once again. I made the coffee last night so Alex, my youngest, could come downstairs ahead of me and push the button to start the coffeemaker. I’m in the not-so-unique position of being single, having my three sons at home, and soon I will be picking my own mother up to spend the day caring for her, though she’d never concede to the idea that it’s the other way around. She wants me to depend on her and I’m okay with that. It’s like a dance, graceful in its complexity with me agreeing to almost anything and her… I’m not sure if she still understands that I’m doing it or not, but the grand act of denial, if that’s what she does, is Oscar-worthy. And of course there are my own children. To an extent my eldest is taking care of me, helping me not to pull my hair out both with his physical aid in babysitting and housework and his awesome sense of humour.

So it goes. The child becomes the mother, the caregiver; the giver of life as she comes closer to the end of her own, becomes dependent once again.

I love being a mother, but in the end it can be likened to a bag of horse shit. For the amount of work it takes, the load of stress that accompanies it, and the headache-inducing number of eyerolls, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.


by 28 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Aha!!

Found at: https://www.facebook.com/quantumactivistmovie?fref=photo

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__________________________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

Have fun!


by 14 Comments

W is for Weigh

There are way lots of things you can weigh, eh? You can weigh the odds, weigh the elephant (if you can find scales big enough), or you can weigh down the competition and squash ’em completely.

According to google’s suggestions I can weigh the pig, weigh the pros and cons, weigh the same as a duck,

MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

weigh the options, weigh the anchor, weigh the wangdoodle (?), or hey! weigh thesaurus! I wonder if that’s anything like weighing a velociraptor?

I can weigh a plane without scales (there’s a trick I’d like to see), weigh a ton, a package, a fish, a dog, or a lot. I can even weigh a pie… somewhere over the rainbow. (Took me a few seconds to get that one. Hint: you’ve gotta sing it.)

And on that horrible note, I’m outta here. Enjoy the ducks!


by 28 Comments

T is for Titter

Another fun word thanks to my thesaurus and the page I flipped to today! 😀

Titter means laugh, but I always imagine it more to be done from behind a hand, hidden lest anyone should catch you doing it. It’s a sneaky laugh, a giggle caused by something that shouldn’t be laughed at, or something just plain naughty.

It reminds me of my dad who once, while putting up curtains over the kitchen sink, fell in – why he was up there when the sink was full of water I have no idea. I was a child at the time. But for years we talked about “that time my dad fell in the kitchen sink.” He was the sort of person who loved to laugh at himself, so there was no tittering going on there.

There are people we can laugh at when they do something stupid or hurt themselves and there are people who would just as soon hurt us back if we were to laugh at them openly. I wonder what it is in a person’s psyche that makes them one way or the other. Is it childhood experience – being bullied for instance? Is it what we grew up seeing how our parents reacted to being laughed at? One way or the other, I always try to gauge another’s sensitivities before I laugh at them. Sometimes it’s not easy to hide that little teehee…

What kind of person are you? I know it depends on the circumstance sometimes, but generally, do you mind if a loved one laughs at you? How about someone you know but don’t know well?